Hi been lurking on here for a while and feel I should contribute.
My name is jond and I have recently turned 33 and I am a compulsive gambler.
I have been gambling pretty much flat out for 15 years but decided enough was enough on 10/04/14 and have been clean eveR since.
I have tried stopping many times before before but this time I feel something has clicked and I feel I can do it this time.
I have been reading this forum daily and have taken great inspiration from every story good + bad and the last 37 days of no gambling have been heaven.
I think the penny dropped when after years of looking myself in the mirror my younger brother of 30 who I have recently taken on to work with me broke down and blamed me for his own gambling / drug problem. I see him in me so much and that P****s me off because I hate myself.
I also have 2 young children and I couldn't bare the thought of them living like this. I thought I need to set an example to my brother and my children.
My addiction typically started on the slots in the boozer and then escalated to going up the motorway services everyday for a couple of years sometimes I would drive 50 miles just to play a fruity. Looking back I reckon I even went up there on Christmas Day . Then the FOBTs came about and BANG all I thought about was numbers 11,17,29......... Etc morning noon and night. Wake up skip work feed 20s into a machine, I took part in illegal activity for years all down the pan. Then I discovered poker and I feel in love with the game and I could talk forever but in the end it's all **.
I've been with my mrs for 9 years and have 2 beautiful children and I couldn't have put up with the *** I have put her through I would have left. Anyway I could waffle on forever . Peace
Hello there and welcome to the Forum,
You sound determined to leave the addiction behind and make a new start. You are doing fantastically well, so far, staying away from gambling for over a month now. I would suggest keeping a diary to mark your progress and build up a sense of achievement.
If you experience any urges at any point, do know that it is to be expected and it is important to be prepared when that happens. You can put a plan in place that you can follow, for example you can contact GamCare and talk to an advisor who could help you manage the urge in that moment, or think about what things you could do to distract yourself from following the urge.
There is a lot of support available through GamCare and we're open from 8am until midnight, 7 days a week, so feel free to contact either the HelpLine on our freephone 0808 8020 133. Alternatively, you can use the Netline:
http://secure.gamcare.org.uk/netline
Keep up the good work.
Best wishes,
Ana
Hi John. Welcome to the forum. Your post describes so many journeys here, lurching from one form of gambling to another. For me it was online to FOBTs to casinos and back again. Always the same outcome...temporary wins/'highs'. Long term loss/ pain. Through your own efforts you now see what life could be like without gambling. It is a great window of opportunity for you, put as many barriers to gambling in place as you can and get help from someone like Gamcare to help you understand the feelings/thoughts that drive this addiction for you. All the best
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