Hi guys this is my very post on here I have never admitted before today that I have a problem but I know I do I will gamble everyday on anything I can get my hands on and I need help to get out of the rut I'm in every month I'm skint and use pay day loans I have credit card debt, overdrafts and every month is the same cycle I'm always skint no one knows of my situation but a friend lent me 1000 so I could try get out the debt but I feel it's just put me more in it as I have used this to try recover my loses I don't have a meeting site anywhere near me or I would have went to a meeting, I just feel so lost I am only 24 and on the verge of losing everything how do I fix this?do I go cold turkey? I bet on everything, horses machines scratch cards lotto poker my worst are 70 jackpot puggies I will sit and put 160 quid in just to win the jackpot just that rush I get from gambling I don't get for anything else, sorry for going on and on but I just don't know where to turn from here I know admitting I have a problem is a start but I don't want my life to go on like this....
Hi Caroldotcom - Admitting you have a problem is a very good place to start your recovery and joining this site is the next best thing you could have done. First off, are there any barriers you could put in place to come between you and temptation? By that I mean self-exclusion, either for any online sites you may use or from betting shops, and also an online blocking program such as K9 (free) which will stop you accessing gambling sites.
As you have learnt from your friend's financial help, compulsive gambling can never be profitable in the long run. There is a saying on here: "I cannot win because I cannot stop." No matter how much we may win, it will all be lost again, and trying to recoup losses is in itself a dead loss!
You have to mark your return to sanity one day at a time, and coming on to this site every day will help you. There are so many people here ready to offer advice and encouragement and I am sure you will gain a lot from their stories.
If you need to speak to someone, contact the Gamcare team - I am sure they will be able to help.
Best wishes for your journey - you can do it!
Joanna
Hi Carol, welcome to the Forum and well done for posting what you have here,
I gambled for twenty years before stopping over five years ago; I tried many, many times before that happened, and please trust me my friend, when I say that nothing, nothing at all will work apart from cold turkey, zero tolerance.
It isn't about what you bet on my friend - if someone lined up some goldfish to race each other, you would find it entertaining, and it would give you the sense of euphoria that you crave so much.
You put so much into recovering your losses my friend, but you have to change your way of thinking; your biggest win is your biggest nightmare because all it will do is make you crave more of the same at higher stakes than before (which invariably leads to losing). If you lose, then you face soul-wrenching desperation to regain what you have lost (which invariably leads to losing more, and then spending money you don't have).
That is the truth my friend - you spend money on something you think you truly enjoy, but all it does is give you a temporary sense of euphoria which doesn't take long to dissipate. And gambling itself is always going to be a lose-lose scenario for you - this doesn't make you a fool, or a bad person, but you don't want to believe or accept the truth; I was the same, you are the same, and there are many thousands out there too who can't face the reality of their own actions.
It is a vicious circle as you say, but you seem like a good person and at 24, there are a lot of open doors available to you; it is easy to get stuck in a rut, we have all been there, but gambling will never give you the genuine happiness, fulfillment and respect that everyone wants.
Draw a line under what has happened my friend and push yourself to find the things in life which will give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning. These are precious years; you will turn around one day and be 30; the last thing you want is a youth tainted and compromised by debt and regret, but that means you have to push yourself to work through your urges - they are always temporary, they soon pass - and work out what you want to do with your life.
A five year plan may work wonders for you. The place you want to go, the things you want to see, the things you want to achieve - it is important to have focus during the times when you feel weak and vulnerable; you may not achieve everything but you may do most of what you want to do if you work for it. Since stopping, I write, do charity work, write, sing, go hiking and so much more - I have debt that I am still paying off but I have never been happier since stopping; it is tough at first, but each gamble-free month will give you a window into what your life could be like.
Carol my friend - you don't and won't have to lose everything, but you must accept that there is no other way forward than stopping, completely, without exception. Be strong, be positive - you are better than this, you deserve to have a bright, happy future.
JamesP
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