Hi Everyone,
I have never used a forum like this before and really hope that spending time telling others about my problem will help me overcome my urges to gamble.
Gambling first became a problem for me 15 years ago during my first year at university. The bookies was a new, but really social, environment for me. We would spend our time darting between the local pub and bookies, placing small bets and generally having a fun time.
My problems began when student loans started hitting my bank account. I have never been hard up and have always had savings. My thought process at the time was that this extra cash is irrelevent, so why not gamble? FOBTs took over for a year or so and I remember days when I would go back to my halls of residence in a real state after loosing £500+ in a session.
With support from Gamcare telephone staff, self exclusion and a considerable amount of will power, I stopped gambling completely and left Uni with money in the bank and a good degree.
Two years later I relapsed while in Australia. Every pub has a room of slots (pokies). This was too hard to resist. I had good wins and, as expected, horrific losses.
Over the next ten years I continued to gamble but I completely avoided FOBTs or any form of electronic/onling gambling. I limited myself to a £10 weekly budget and thoroughly enjoyed my £1 accys and 50p e/w horse racing bets. My and my mates would go to the bookies with a £10 budget and have a really good time - we helped each other control our spend, never took bank cards with us and never allowed one person to remain in a bookies unattended. The system worked - we were all happy.
Unfortunately, over the past year, I have majorly relapsed. My work involves entertaining customers and casinos are often the place we head to after all the pubs have closed. I had not been into a Casino for 10 years until January 2016 when I placed £100 infront of the blackjack dealer. The £100 stake quickly turned into £500. I felt invincible and as if I could not loose.
The following week the cash was all gone. FOBTs took the lot. The week after I was back in the casino, on my own, and lost the best part of £2k in a session that started at 18:30 (as soon as I could get there after work) and finished when the casio closed 10 hours later.
Over the past 12 months this downward spiral has continued and it is having a really negative impact on my life. £500 losses have frequenty been a weekly occurance. I keep detailed records of my finances and, as of last Monday, calculated that I am £10k worse off than I was a year ago. I am irritable and reluctant to spend cash on day to day purchases (I put off buying a new oven for 6 months as I wanted to keep the cash in the bank incase I wanted to place a bet).
In the past month I have reached a new low. Online gambling, mainly blackjack, has taken over. Unfortunately I have had some big wins. I won £1200 at the end of November and then lost it the following day. I remember reversing the withdrawal, thinking that it would be so easy to place a few £10 bets to cover my costs for a night out that was planned for later in the week. 30 mins later I had lost the lost.
Since the 5th December I have sent £2150 to online casinos using Paypal. I have been gambling at work, at my desk, on my phone while taking a break, at home, in bed while my partner is asleep and even while stuck in traffic jams. I start with low bets but these spiral out of control very quickly and I remember placing two £1k bets in the past few days. Positively I have now managed to walk away with over £5.5k. £1.5k is sitting in my bank account and I am waiting on a £4k payment from another site.
Some of the low moments have been:
- Winning £700 on a casino slot and loosing it all on blackjack within 2 hours.
- Accidentally "doubling down" on a £300 online blackjack bet as I was physically shaking due to the amount of money I had lost.
- Popping to the bookies on the premis of placing a football accy and loosing £500 (plus £50 from housekeeping for groceries) on FOBTs. As I did not take my wallet I had to go home without the shopping and lie to my partner, explaining I had forgotten my wallet and got sidetracked on route to the shops.
- A £1500 session in a casino after recieving my quaterly bonus in September.
My last bet was at 10pm last night. Today is the first day I have not woken up and immediately gambled for a number of weeks. I cannot take the stress anymore. The joy of winning is also a burden I will not miss.
In a couple of days the cash will hit my account and I am confident that I will never gamble online again. I also intend to avoid football betting until the start of the 2017 season. At that point in time I will withdraw £100 and use this as my season long budget (only if I feel in control).
Thank you for taking the time to read my account. Just reading this back makes me think how stupid I have been!
Thanks,
Andy
Sounds very much like me I did sports betting and used to bet small and think I could win this much for football or a night out or going out for dinner the truth is you just lose and char your losses up your stakes and lose! The harsh truth is mate is to not bet at all as you will always fall back into the trap. It is a hard pill to swallow about your losses trust me but you have to move on and leave gambling behind you!
Hi Ash,
I think your right - it iclear that one bet leads to another. I used to think that sports betting was no different than playing the lottery, a few quid here and there, hoping for a monster win. Clearly it contributed to my desire to up the stakes when playing blackjack and other online games.
Maybe taking a break from football bets is the wrong approach - I should stop for good.
Cheers,
Andy
Yeah I love football and I guess betting came with that but nothing is gaurenteed you just end up losing the odd time you win bit is it really worth it Andy? With what we betted we have no memories from it. We could of gone on an amazing holiday and got into dept through that at least we would have summit to show for it. Gambling is everywhere every advert I hate gambling we will beat this lets not give them anymore of our money! Let's have a massive win and beat this!!
Definately not worth it! After paying £50 for a ticket and another £100 on travel and food, it makes no sense to gamble as well!
I agree about the adverts - its impossible to avoid them.
btw, I have just got through my first lunch break without gambling! My 30 minute walk was much more enjoyable - I listened to music rather than a stupid blackjack computer dealer telling me I had gone bust 🙂
Congratulations Andy trust me when I say this it gets easier!!
HI Andy, congratulations on the start of your new (enjoyable) life. I am a compulsive online gambler, and joined the site yesteray to hopefully aid me in my quest for being a non gambler. I would suggest you download gambling blocking software on your computer, it is not fool proof but it can help.Also look at historic posts, they can be upsetting but also inspiring. I had a day off work today and have not gambled. One day at a time I know, but one thing I am really looking forward to is getting next months bank statement and rather than having pages full of online gaming site deposits, only have entries for day to day expenses. Best wishes
Hi baba papa, thanks for your advice. Having seen recent bank statements, with thousands disappearing Evey month, I can't wait to see one without gambling related entries!
I'm sorry but I don't think you can just stop because you say so (wishful thinking I think), but I wish you the best.
Hi Andy, welcome and you're stopping at just the right time, before it accelerates out of control. It will, because your winnings will be ploughed back into gambling and you'll lose. Fact. You know the pattern, you know the drill. So do I . Can't kid a kidder,
I would suggest stopping altogether from today. Yep, just do it. Cash in and ban yourself online and casinos, permanently. You think I'm kidding ... Erm, no, and I'll give you some food for thought, with just ONE reason why...
Let's analyse this just a little and take a look at the wider picture. You are possibly damaging your career prospects! Let's be the outsider looking in. You have to entertain clients, but is the casino the only option? (Of course not.) Do you really have to go there? Will they mind (no: and, it really doesn't look good when you disappear into solitary gaming activities when you are 'meant' to be entertaining...). Slots are solo, even a more 'social' blackjack piles a bit of pleasure on the client. Self-image is very important, you know that.
Just a few thoughts from someone who's 'been there, done that'.
Congratulations on acting early. I'd stop this now, consider counselling to find the underlying reason (there is one, really) and whilst gambling-free take stock, look around, and choose life over what will be a slow-burn but assured misery. Time to jump off this train to hell, I'd advise.
Sorry this is bit frank, but I'm sure you'd prefer it to 'tea and sympathy' which isn't my style, and won't help you.
We just all really want you to succeed here! 🙂
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