It all started 2 years ago, finances were a bit strained in the household, being down to my last £10 mid-month and putting groceries on my credit card (with no idea how to clear it the following month). Playing online games and winning a few hundred here and there but I was spiralling. Chasing losses and getting into a bigger hole. Before I knew it I was at £10k gone. I took out credit cards and loans and it got worse and worse. I managed to stop for a few months, and I was proud that my daily addiction was over. However now I’m in a worse situation. I binge. I can go weeks or months gambling nothing but when I do it is thousands at a time. I already have a 2nd mortgage and when talking through options with a mortgage advisor it became clear I had to tell my husband (the mortgage is only in my name). I broke down and told him I was in trouble. He bailed me out and I feel so guilty every day and am working to pay him back every penny. However I didn’t tell him the full extent, only what I couldn’t manage on my own. I relapsed last week and lost another £10k. In total, everything I owe (including the money going back to him) is 85k. I am paying all of my bills, putting aside a bare minimum for emergency savings (because these are long gone) and overpaying where I can to reduce my mortgage and cover more than my minimum payments but this leaves me with £30 disposable income at the end of the month.
I’m aware that being able to save anything and to overpay is a luxury, but this is as low as I can go. I cannot let my husband down again. I would rather have no disposable income and small savings than have to disappoint him again.Â
Today I take action to sort my life out, and reaching out on here is step one.Â
Am really sorry to hear what u are going through the main focus should be the gambling get all blockers in place and get support for the addiction For some it Ga others come on here regularly the main focus for now is make it has difficult has possible to gamble and if u can open up to someone close to u can make it easier the last thing u want is the addiction getting out off hand its an illness thing can improve but will take time best thing u can do is invest time into your recovery find a hobby since i joined gamecare i had a similar issue i could got months without a bet then do massive damage to my finances my last relapses i ended up taking a loan out which i never did throughout the 18 years that was my turning point by coming on here regularly i am constantly reminded what can happen it an illness has long as i dont gamble my brain works just fine it wasent easy and i believe because i invested my time in my own recovery it has helped me overcome few major relapses i am two years plus bet free it a serious illnesses treat it like a job invest time on yourself and try making changes each case is different one thing might work for one person not for another i have had to make alot of sacrifices and have had to get rid off few people has they didnt serve my best interest good luck👍
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