Hello
I am 27 and a single mum to a young son, I have been gambling online, slots mostly and bingo for around 4 years. I started out able to spend a bit and leave it but gradually started chasing losses and spending my all weekly income every week on slots which is £170, then relying on my mum who we live with to help me buy food and essentials, or buying things from catalogue companies on credit currently I owe about £6,000 to them. I won 29,000 last year and was happy, I told my family, I promised my sister I would pay her 9,000 debts off as she was expecting her first child and needed help and planned to pay mine off then buy a car and learn to drive. The site I won it on would only let me withdraw 2,000 a month i managed to withdraw 10,000 of which i gave my sister 4 and payed the remainder off my debts, (which i ran up again quickly) at the time I was devasted that I had spent 20,000 on nothing within a few weeks and felt suicidal, i started drinking a lot, cutting myself etc, I got through it though with my mums help although she didn't know the extent of my gambling addiction and she lent me her credit card a few months ago to pay a few bills and buy a bit of food, I used it to gamble and went £500 over the 2,500 limit! I got an ipad on credit and sold it on ebay they asked me to post it to a different address so i did then used my money it to pay back my unplanned overdraft of £340, which i then spent on gambling plus got myself overdrawn again and now paypal are saying the person who bought the ipad has had their account used and are requesting the money back £475 i'm not covered because i sent to a different address!.
I am late paying my catalogue accounts and owe about £600 to them and I haven't got a penny to my name. My mum is running out of money and can't keep bailing me out. I feel like s**t. If I didn't have my little boy I'd hang myself right now. I have always struggled with depression, anxiety and used alcohol or drugs in the past as self medication until I had my son I really pulled myself together and tried my best to be a good mum, then gambling took over. I am sick to death of having nothing, I can't go anywhere or do anything, I have isolated myself and i'm losing the respect of the only people I care about. I keep crying, having fits of anger, I went for a walk and on the way home I had overwhelming urges to jump infront of a lorry. I'll be getting letters from the catalogue companies soon demanding money, and paypal will try to take the 475 out my -340 account because some one has stolen from me, Irony or Kharma as I essentially stole 3,000 from my own mum. I hate myself and I can't see how this can get better. I keep looking for jobs as I am currently unemployed but i'm so depressed I can't see me being able to hold down a job.
I feel for you love I too got addicted to online slots I joined this forum nine days ago and have just blown all my money today. It is so hard I don't know what advice I can offer you at the minute as I'm new and can't even make it a week. But you are not alone love and I can offer my support I too am a single mum and am suffering despair at my self. Think of your little boy and how much he needs yours. I too rely on my mum for essentials as I blow my money and am devastated after wondering who I can borrow of next time only I've run out of options. I keep thinking maybe today ill win cause surely to God it can't keep taking my money but it does. Try and stay strong love and I'm here to chat if you need it xxx
It's sad reading these posts. So many of our lives affected to the point of despair because of CG. Like Angie, I wish I could wave a magic wand for you and make everything ok. I am also a single mum who keeps walking beacause I am first and foremost a mother. I'm not a big fan of WooWoo but please try to believe that there are better days ahead. I'm on day three of no gambling - no big achievement really as I'm more of a weekend gambler and I be that hurdle to face yet. I have planned lots of activities (free) to keep me busy. The only thing I can say is that you are not alone as you can see by the many posts and stories on here. Im sure you will recieve practical help from other forum users and admins. I'm happy to be an ear for the emotional stuff. I wish you a recovery and stay strong for your son. He needs you. Much love and sincere best wishes. You are not defined by what you do. Barb xx
Thank you both for taking the time to reply to me, im feeling a bit better now than i was earlier. Just realising that stopping gambling is the only way things will ever get better because usually at this point, gambling is my only answer but i know i'll just be further down the hole if i play. Even when i win im not happy because i cant stop until theres nothing left I don't know about you Angie but do you ever get to withdraw winnings? Many times ive won enough to pay my bills only to spend it all and dispair again, i can never truly win.
I love my son with every fibre of my being and if theres anyone I can do it for it's him. I want to be able to save for a holiday and have a bit of money for a day out or even just an ice cream fgs and not have to ask my mum if she has any change. I want to pay her back what i have taken from her.
Reading some of the posts on here and I can see people have had it a lot worse than me and for a long time. I just hope I can stop. Its disgusting that all day and night there are gambling ads on tv and even poker and roulette live play when it is such a problem to so many. Im praying we can overcome it and get our lives back. I hope you find the strength to break the habit this weekend Barb, well done on your 3 days and Angie I hope your next pay day you treat yourself and not the greedy slots. xxx
Dear Emma,
A very warm welcome to the forum.
I’m glad you joined us, you will be able to get a lot of help and support from others here and realise that you are not alone.
Do get in touch with one of our advisors on our Freephone Helpline 0808 8020133 or on the Netline and we will be able to talk to you about all the help that is available. We also offer one to one counselling sessions across the country free of charge.
Installing a blocking software to block all access to online gambling sites would help too. Here are two we normally recommend http://www.betfilter.com and http://www.gamblock.com
It would also help to get some advice on how to best manage your debt. The National Debtline offers free advice on debt management https://www.nationaldebtline.org
I’m glad to hear from your second post that you are feeling better Emma. We are all here behind you in support. Stay strong and keep posting.
Warm regards
Catarina
Welcome to the site Emma.
Unfortunately gambling makes us lose or heads and mind and do things like stealing which we would not dream of doing in any other life , the harsh reality is gambling is a disease and quickly takes hold.
Personally I would write to all your creditors and explain you situation then agree a payment plan , all PayPal can do is send you a debt collection letter , even at that stage the people who send the letter have to agree to a re-payment schedule you can afford , also cancel all your cards and direct debits which relate to the PayPal account , you wont be able to use PayPal but they wont be able to take any money from you either.
You will also find help with Gamcare who have specially trained people local to you who offer free one to one advise "the sessions are easy going and not as scary as it might seem" you obviously need some help and once you have a re-payment plan in place you can concentrate on putting the other things right.
I wish you all the luck in the world , try starting a diary in the diary section on here
Hi Emma,
You say that you've always suffered from anxiety and depression and you have been using drink and drugs.
You also mention the suicidal feelings associated with your lifestyle.
Now I don't know if you have spoken with you GP recently but If I were in your shoes that's right where I would be headed,
It maybe that you need the help of a psychiatrist and maybe if you have been on medication that may need reviewing. A lot of my gambling problems were associated with clinical depression, Once the got me the right treatment I felt altogether better about myself and the need to gamble did subside. I can't make any promises that things will be the same for you but talking with the GP may be useful for you.
Believe me I've been where you are and then some.
John gives good ADVICE about getting arrangements in place with creditors. I pay mine £1 pm with all interest frozen.
Best Wishes to all on the Forum.
Take Care Now.
Hello Emma I'm glad your feeling a little better today . Emma I must be the world worst at not withdrawing its not that i haunt had wins nothing big though 4000 pound most I won and I still couldn't hit the button to withdraw I'm like on a frenzie upping my game I come off with nothing but when I win I work out in my head who I can pay off what I can do with money but that's as far has I ever got cause I lost it all. Stay strong I I agree a trip to doctors is in order. I have been on anti depressions two year and have never look back as I wouldn't like to be in the place I was two years ago xx
Hello emma,
first thing I would say is try to think of your son and don't do anything stupid. I to have a gambling problem aswell and have found myself drinking more recently and not enjoying anything. I have times where I feel really low also, but I then think of my family and what it would do to them if I were to do something stupid, I can't give you any advice really as I'm struggling to and wouod feel a hypocrite,but I saw this post and it touched me. I wish I could help, hopefully talking can get you through this tough time.
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