Hey all,
I'm not new here; I've been on and off this site over the past 2 years. In that time, despite several posts about going gamble free I've always eventually relapsed. I'm a binge gambler, I can easily go months without betting (6 months is my record during these 2 years) then I’ll get back into it for a few weeks before quitting again. The relapses are always the same, I think I can control it, win at the start then get greedy and end up losing substantial sums chasing.
I've been gambling for around 4 years, in which I’ve lost around 16k. Thankfully, this was just savings and pay checks, I’ve never borrowed money and have no debt. However, I’ve worked an ungodly amount of hours over the past 4 years to fund this habit and have next to nothing to show for it. One of the hardest parts is everyone always assumes I must have loads of money in the bank because they know I’m always working and never out spending, little do they know what I earn I’ve always wasted online.
My gambling has always been online sports betting, I rarely go into a bookies. Ironically this is due to shame, I wouldn't want to hand over vast sums of money over the counter and be judged by the guy taking the bet, yet I’m happy to do this online tricking myself into thinking it’s not real money and it’s all anonymous.
Today however is my final day 1, after a few months of putting it off I’ve signed up to GamStop so now when the urge kicks in to binge, I shouldn't be able too. I'm also going to seek counselling, something I’ve also been putting off. I've always hated the idea of going to someone to discuss my problem through embarrassment, but if I’m serious about quitting for good I know I have to do it.
Anyway, sorry for the long post but I felt my first step was to be upfront and honest with myself about the problem and this helps me do this. If you've managed to quit after relapses early on I’d be very grateful to hear your advice.
Welcome. I did not sport bet , I used slots and understand the longer periods of recovery then the bingeing. Four years can turn into 14 so easily. Binge gambling can get confusing. I was and am baffled by the months without and then the binge because when I go another chunck of time it feels the same . What will make a difference for me is to focus on each day as it arrives. Maybe that will work for you also. Days and months leading to years add up for people in recovery. I think that those 'old timers' as they are often called or the successful people in recovery; I think and have heard many times over and over that they did it one day at a time. A chunk of time never has as much meaning as the day at hand. Today and everyday. take care.
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