Dear All,
I am a new member to this forum but not to trying to fight my compulsive gambling problem. I have kidded myself that I don't have a problem. I have sought help at GA back in 2010, after about 3 years of gambling which racked up lots of debt. My gambling started then I think because I was very low after University - When I was at Uni, there were highs and lows, the lows were where I had far too much time to fill. I decided to fill this with online poker. "I was good at it" at first but then I plummited in a world of obsession. I got a good job and that filled the time and the gambling went away for a while, until the weekend. I was single and need on entertainment - I resorted in 2007 to going to the bookies as well as online poker. I ambled through life, winning money to pay off debts, then losing it all and getting deeper into debt. I went to GA to find salvation, but all I found was something to fill my time and keep me away from gambling. I am also great at not gambling when I have no access to funds or cannot borrow more! GA didn't work for me, I then spent from 2008 to 2011 repeating all my mistakes except I kicked the online poker habit. My gambling did fall in terms of amount staked and time spent doing it.
In 2011 I met the love of my life - we were married 12 months later and we were expecting a baby shortly after honeymoon. All was well - I had not gambled for over 2 years when the baby arrived. I don't know what happended but all the gambling urges, the need to get away, the need to do anything other than work, football, golf, be home - yes gambling. We had also got into debt from the honeymoon, the baby etc. I want to get us out of it. The other factor was that I spend a lot of time working from home and my wife and baby are there. The cabin fever was too much. (I know how selfish and horrible I am sounding)
I now have wasted a lot of money for no reason other than "I was bored" "I needed to get away" - How pathetic is that? I felt trapped and needed to "win"
My job was stagnated - i can't seem to move up until I am older (Well that might have changed - as I got offered an interview for a better position today), I am really over weight yet go to the bookies instead of going to the gym. I am so lazy I would rather go there than the gym or work. I am lucky at the moment that my job offers little challenge and I can do it when I need to from home.
I have decided enough is enough. I phoned a very nice lady at Gamcare today and she heard all of this ramble too but with maybe a lot more tears and self pity chucked in. (apologies)
I am going to take her advice and keep busy. I want to do a lot more for my son and for my wife. I just need to snap out of trying to win my way out of debt. I lose far more at the bookies than I ever win - I am a terrible gambler.
Has anyone got any other advice? Has anyone tried the online counselling?
If you read all of that - well done, apologies for rambling - it is all still a bit raw
Hi Paddy, welcome back into recovery 🙂 Nothing unusual in there that I haven't read before! Have you tried handing over your finances to your wife? Bit embarrassing it has to be said but sure beats the lows that follow the inevitable losses! This will break your Time-Money-Location triangle & prevent you from gambling! You have to draw a line under the losses, gambling only gets us deeper into the mess! We're all terrible gamblers & cannot win because we cannot stop! Winning comes when we do stop! You have a baby to keep you active, get outside, get yourself moving, shift the weight because that is making you miserable! I'm no expert but you have spoken to them for a leg up & you will find hope between these walls!
You have to want it more than you want your next bet & work for it! It's definitely there for the taking - ODAAT
Hi Paddy
Boredom will get you in trouble everytime. Can you rekindle some old hobbies, or maybe find some new ones? You say you are overweight, so excercise, walking, the gym, would give you one avenue to help alleviate the boredom. I found that in th early stages of recovery I could occupy my mind with crosswords, puzzles etc. I now read about 3 novels a fortnight. If you can find something that you enjoy doing, it will help to take your mind off the gambling.
GA may not be the answer for you, it doesn't work for everybody, but it did fill in some time for you. Your older and wiser now. Maybe you are ready for GA. It won't hurt to give it another try. Every now and then we get a new member that has a heartwrenching story. This is what helps me stay away from the gambling. I never want to feel as low as that new member ever again.
Read some of the stories on this forum. Get an understanding of what may happen to you and your family if you continue to gamble. This will give you an extra incentive to stop.
Best wishes
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