Gamble free for 23 days.

I posted on your 1st thread read that may or may not help. Red X

Hiya thank you for your post on my diary. In regards to stopping gambling remember firstly your stopping not quitting or giving up on something you enjoy if your like me gambling actually makes you feel horrible and guilty and is something we both know we need rid of. Self exclusion and online/phone blocks are all good things. But the main thing and ultimately the only thing that'll help you stop is wanting to stop and committing 100%. For example I used to really enjoy and follow golf and I listened to a certain podcast it was great but they had a betting guide at the end so it had to go and I now don't even watch any golf because what's more important watching the golf but running the risk of temptation to gambling and potentially losing my wife and child. You have to make sacrifices however tough, they're worth it. Try to find other interests/hobbies that are totally separate from gambling that you can enjoy. Keep reading and posting on here and you'll come across plenty of ways to help, some will suit you and leave the rest. Also in regards to this site be a bit selfish, be here for you, you need to. I once was very active here making sure I posted to others which was great but I don't think I was doing everything to help myself and ultimately you have to look after number one as this is life ruining and change is needed before it's to late.

In regards to helping with your relationship that is probably an individual basis but I will say 100% honesty is the way to go however hard. I found that my wife's main problem with it all once she knew was the lies and not the money. She felt betrayed. I think if your honest and show her all your doing to change, hopefully you can work through it. Trust is a big thing and you've probably lost it and to be honest it'll take a while to get back even now if I've had a bad day and am P****d off she'll ask if I've gambled. But that's a lot fewer times now than early on and although it's frustrating for me I have to understand and accept that she has that right to ask. One thing I did when starting this recovery was I gave my bank card to my wife and only had a card that could be topped up with x amount so I was limited to a certain amount which was good for me knowing I didn't have the gambling funds and also showed my wife I was committed to this and was a blessing for her knowing I couldn't blow anymore of our money.

I hope some of this will help and I wish you and your fiancГ©e a happy future, its tough especially early on but it does get easier in every aspect with urges, money/debts and with the relationship.

Take care and stay strong.

30th sept

Thankyou for your reply.

It had helped me already reading your post. I feel I'm going in the right direction with the non gambling. In fact I hate the thought of it, just wish I was found out earlier so I could've done something about it then, I knew I had a problem but just couldn't bring myself to stop thinking just 1 big win was around the corner. This is the kick up the backside I needed. It's true the trust is gone, I see that she can't look at me in the same way as before but she's still here, that's got to be a positive surely, hoping and praying that she can get over this mess in time, she has said she wants to try make it work but understandably it's going to take time but the problem lies with me, I'm too impatient and want things back to normal asap but I know that's not going to happen, I struggling massively with the feeling that she may still 'leave' and that is what is hurting me more than most, if I was single having lost this money then I could have said **** it. Take it on the chin knowing I can earn that money back over time but in all honesty I've destroyed her and destroyed our short term future, all she wanted was to get married so obviously that won't be happening soon. But like I said I hope and pray everyday that she is willing to stay and see the improvements I am having. As you suggested do other things to keep the mind busy, I am intact doing that, im out taking my dog out for walks more often, things around the house, more exercise and going out running which is helping massively. Thankyou for reading my post and again you give me hope to fight for better future

Nev