Hi there.
I've been addicted to gambling on and off for the past seven years. It started with occasional trips to the casino with the boys at uni but stemmed into me betting on tv roulette by myself. Late night I'd be awake gambling, to tired to go to uni the next day. Whenever I got paid I would wait up until the money had came through and had sometimes lost all my wages by the morning. With this led to a vicious cycle of payday loans to fund my habit as well as working a lot more to pay them off, neglecting my university course. This came to a head when I stole money from my parents to help pay off a debt. They discovered this and helped me out like any money and father would. My mum kept hold of my money for me but as soon as I was trusted again I was straight back to gambling online again. This lasted for another 3 years, in time which I flunked out of uni but I was too ashamed to admit this to my parents so pretended I was still going, all the time still gambling. My dad caught me out on occasion and I promised I would stop and he agreed to help me.
My gambling stopped after I had to admit that I was no longer attending uni, it had got to the point where I was due to graduate and I had to come clean. At this time I went cold turkey, no gambling, and I was happier for it. I never really thought about it. I was doing well. This all changed when I got tempted to put on a couple of football coupons, nothing major. Went on for a couple of months with nothing major, thought I was controlling it well. Then one weekend I won £1500 playing roulette online, I couldn't believe my luck. This got more amazing as I went out on the Sunday night, and with not being able to remember it though drinking, I had won 15 grand. It was brilliant, I paid for my pals to go on holiday, took my girlfriend to Amsterdam, but some things. Thought that all the grief gambling had caused me had stopped right here. But I couldn't stop. The nets just became larger. This money yoyoed up and down, I'd lose it all, win it all back, at one point incredibly I had 130 grand through playing online blackjack. It should have been enough to buy a flat but it all disappeared and I was left chasing what I had.
At this point I was trying to get my life together, had moved into a flat with my girlfriend, went back to college to try and do something with myself, but I couldn't escape the gambling. I had a student loan for the first time and all it seemed to provide was extra money for the bookies. I meant to pay off my tuition fees with a lump sum I received but that all went on roulette. I managed to get by but the money never seemed to be enough. I started dipping into the bank account my girlfriend and I used to pay our rent, getting lucky that I was able to win the money back in time but it has now all came to fruition after I lost it. In my desperation I stole from my work to help pay the rent. I have been caught and now I am facing losing my job.
It's all out in the open which is a relief, and my girlfriend has been amazing, but I'm just lost with what to do. I know I can stop because I've done it before but I now have the financial burden of losing my job as well as the embarrassment of having to tell friends and colleagues what has happened. I'm not really sure what to do from here.
Welcome..and thanks for honestly sharing your story here...
Id suggest giving the helpline a ring for some one to one advise and suggestions how you can prevent further disasters. ..read as much as you can on here...good luck love
sickening isn it mate can relate to what u said there. this addiction is the worst i f*****g hate it im starting to wonder why i do this still alls i do is lose its like i enjoy losing and punishing myself and feeling like s**t i wish you all the best trying to overcome it mate
Thanks for the replies, I'm lucky that I don't have any major debts and spoke to the bank today who agreed to right off overdraft fees which is a weight off my shoulders. I'm confident I'll be able to beat this demon it's just the job issue that is playing the most on my mind at the moment as I'm worried that I won't be able to find another one, it was just a retail job but is the only job I've ever had and that's been nine years. I'm also starting to worry there may be prosecution. Just want to be able to get back on my feet.
Hi PC , Just read your story very sad, Gambling is a problem when you cannot stop, it has been said in the past in this forum that winning money is the problem, like you point out you have at 1 point £130K which is a large amount of money in your bank which in a normal state of mind would get you through a good few years of enjoyment. But gambling will eat away at all your money if you have no control, like today I have lost 200 in the bookies feel awful but I am not going back again I could get access to more money if I wish but this would make the problem worse for me, I do feel like it but I am staying strong for family and will take my children out for tea this evening. A friend told me think that the devil in on the doorstep on the bookies and never even cross that line. I wished I had remebered this quote this morining. Thanks for reading this and I do hope you get a job and put your life in order.
Hi, well done for seeking help, and of course finding another job is important, but actually your main issue here is your gambling addiction! You have had more money than most of us earn in our entire lives and you lost it? Because you have this vile addiction that most of us on here have, so you need too visit the past but not live in it, it's gone and you want too rebuild from the base up. I'm so pleased you have a supportive partner, it makes our recovery easier if we have someone too help us block our paths. Handing finances over, blocking gambling sites etc. Have you called the helpline? Everyone on here knows what your going through and can help support you. Of course you need too find a job, but focusing on beating your addiction is the most important, what's the point of a job if your a compulsive gambler? We end up losing everything, we remember the good times and the big wins but actually forget just how much sadness we have bought too ourselves and others. A new job, a great partner and free from gambling and your future would be amazing, you were at your job for 9 years, maybe explaining your addiction and proving the help your getting might help avoid any procescution?
Hope your doing ok... come back and post here, it does help keep you on track I think. Your job situation has been in my mind and I really hope things have worked out.
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