Just messed up

Hi royal..
Sorry to say it will keep happening unless you change something. ...those credit cards . Top up loans will one day say " no more ". Then what will you do ?
You need to block all access to your gambling....it can be done love...shut every last door to stop you feeding your addiction. ...your young...you can get out of this...but you need things in place...and people to help you..and the determination to fight for your future...maybe ring the helpline for some one to one advise...good luck...x

Hi,

Second what Loxxie says above. You say you cant bring yourself to tell anyone. Now might just be that time. If its out in the open there is nowhere to hide it anymore. You will need support to get through and conquer this.

I ran out of lies and money and when my wife asked the question i broke down and told all.

I wasnt man enough to admit my guilt. My lies, secrecy and behaviour eventually caught up with me.

You also have some Debt. Google Stepchange Debt Charity and see if they can help.

Best wishes

Im sorry to hear that. Gambling will take all...clothes on your back even. I know right now it feels hopeless and there will be tears and suicidal thoughts but you can get through this. I had 3k(not 17 i know) and in 9 months off not gambling..i cleared the debt no problem. And my job is pretty poorly paid. So there is hope mate! And coming here can be your first step. The only way i ever abstained from gambling really successfully was GA

My other half knows I'm in debt from gambling but thinks I havnt gambled in a year and have sorted my self out , thing is that's a lie I been gambling monthly and trying to pretend everything is ok. I'm waiting for CBT therapy as I have seen my Doctor at work ( military doctor ).

What is GA like ?

Well you go and first time i was nervous but once its ppls turn to share their stories...its amazing how similar everyone in the room is. For the first time you dont feel like an alien...its a big relief. Everyone is welcoming and supportive and in the same position as yourself

I'm so screwed my top up loan was going to pay overdraft and credit card off and keep my normal payments the same. They called and for some reason after being approved declined due to some address error. I had sorted finances recently now I'm stuck in overdraft and paying cash interest on 4K credit card I have no idea what to do! I want to just crawl into a dark room and never come out. I feel like no one can help me and I don't deserve any help as it's all self inflicted . I have sat down all day trying to see how i can sort this mess it seems hopeless. All I want is a normal life!

Hey mate.
I know what you are feeling.
The dark room sounds so safe happy secure doesnt it?
And it is for the first night,but the reality of the situation will be there when you come out.
It is ironic when people say you will feel different in a few days because you actually do.
My dark room was a duvet and a razor would wake up next day forearms shredded having to peel the duvet off my arms.

All i wanted at those points was not the money back,just to hold and cuddle someone and to feel loved

We take those things for granted and its the moments when spooning or just laying there next to someone thats the most amazing thing.

Money can be paid back,gambling fought,but missing out on moments like that through our addiction that is the ultimate price,

Erm sorry i went off on a tangent there.

Deleted

Hey royal. ..hope your feeling a bit more posative love...you can get past these first horrible hurdles...you realy can...x

How you doing royal

Sorry for slow reply but I been busy last few days sorting my life out. Thanks to everyone who replied to my messages the support and having someone who understands helps a lot.

Long story short I told my other half the truth about how bad my gambling is /was and that was one of the best things I did took a huge load of my mind. I decided I needed some help with my debts So i called step change who have been fantastic. I have already set up a debt management plan and all my creditors have accepted it , I called them all individually and explained the situation. Staring my cognitive behavioural therapy soon to try address the causes/reasons for why I gamble so that will be interesting. One last thing Santander basic bank account allows you to separate your money I only ever have £50 pounds on the spending card at any time plus the 3 digit number on back I got my partner to destroy on both cards so I can't use it online. Well I feel this is the start and all the money I have lost is nothing but history now and I can't live thinking I can win it back.

Well done for taking very positive steps to sorting your life out.

I too had debts around 17k when I had my light bulb moment.

Before the debts can be cleared the route cause needs addressing and it's good to hear you've started to do that.

It really is about breaking that triangle and I found removing all spare monies from my bank account the best thing I could have done.

Keep focused and keep watching the debt go down and if you get spare money make sure it's out of harms way and/or look at upping the payments. Remember if you've got money to gamble, you've got money to save.

Remember if you've got money to gamble, you've got money to save.

Brilliant post.

Malc

Very true