Major Relapse - Never Let Your Guard Down

Jman,

I could not just read this and run, first thing you need to stop gambling block all accounts self exclude from all, give your finances to somebody you trust to look after.

Take it day by day this recovery is not a race it's a battle every day the devil is on your shoulders just waiting. If you have all blocks in place and no access to money then you won't be able to gamble.

There will be people better placed to give advise.

Stop day and tomorrow will be better.

Malc

Hi Jman

Well what a couple days for you, the best thing is you have come back here and that's a start again, you have said yourself you got complacent! Now you know how important complacency is in recovery,
Make sure you do something different around this time, have you got somebody to talk to at home?
Have you tried GA?

Matt

Hi Jman123.

You now have to move it to another stage where you realise there was a way in. Are there any real blocks there? I went through 10 months of the stage where I thought willpower alone could help. It didnt and I realise that I only managed a month through sheer fear of paying my bills and there was no money left to gamble with.

For a compulsive gambler that first "small flutter" is lethal.

The online companies will rarely if ever organise things at your request because they want you to keep gambling and not withdraw it. One of the things that kept me from gambling online is I dont trust distance gambling. Im glad I felt that way because I have never gambled online and it just wasnt my trigger.

I hope you will now discuss this with people close to you and keep phoning gamcare. Your gadgets must be monitored or even taken off you....its that serious Im afraid

When your mind finally starts healing, you will have other hobbies and better things to do with your time. Its essential in the early days that if you have gambling thoughts, you cant act on them

Its natural to have thoughts but they will eventually fade because time passes when you cant act on them and you begin to wonder why you ever would have done it.

You will also realise that looking for any excuse is the addiction talking. Take the fight on. When you are strong you see clearly that they never would have closed your account when it was handy for you. We ignore the risk and we cant stop which is a lethal combination that leads to total ruin.

What you can do is contact these people and make sure you get self excluded. Its a positive feeling that you are doing something.

Together with blocking software and family monitoring you can beat this addiction. Are you ready for that because you must be honest with yourself and others.

Sorry if I sound harsh or tough but I care. You have allowed these gambling dens direct access to your home and you must put a stop to all this

You can get your self respect and pride back. Being gamble free is a wonderful feeling

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

Hi buddy,

Well done for coming back and starting again. But it isn't starting again, it's a bump. A relapse CAN be a part of recovery depending on how you move forwards. What blocks were in place before? Whatever they are they were not strong enough and you need to make it air tight! After 67 days I relapsed in a huge four figure way as I thought I had it nailed, a little flutter won't hurt and found a way around my blocks. That was over 400 days ago as I tightened my blocks to the point where I could kick and scream and go mad, but I didn't have the ability to gamble.

Install K9, don't have the password, phone banks and get them to stop any gambling transactions, cut up your cards and freeze them in blocks of ice, set router blocks and lose the password, exclude at bookies, arcades etc, give financial control to a loved one, downgrade phone, get a cash only card, carry only a tenner at any time, find other ways to spend your time, time money location triangle, GA, this forum, chat rooms. I'm sure you've heard it all before but you MUST learn from this relapse and not give gambling a chance.

All the best, there are some wise words from the community above.

Cheers, Abet

Good morning, coming back from a relapse myself I know just how rubbish it is, we make amazing progress and then let the addiction win, when will we learn ? I'm hoping and feeling that I have learnt, I know where I went wrong and I certainly know how too stop it, and that is complete shut down, absolutely no access too gambling, blocks on my phone, honesty with my partner, and no money! I'm going too a ga meeting on Sunday and have had a hypnotherapy session (I know each too their own on that one!) I guess what I'm saying is unless you put the blocks in place the addiction will always have a way in, Do you have someone too help you with passwords and money? If you do I would take a deep breathe and ask for help, i think it is easier if someone close too you knows and can assist, don't expect them too actually truely understand what your going through, I don't think that's possible, but having someone in real life is a massive help 🙂

Hi, it's just cost you more money to hammer home the reason why you're a compulsive gambler. You're not the first and won't be the last, so brush yourself down and start again. Stop thinking about the what ifs, what if I'd have stopped when I was up and cleared a few debts, what if I'd have won more or a big jackpot, it's lies. The truth is you were never going to win because it's never enough and you cannot press collect and leave it. Start again and next time try and do better, what else is there but hope, cmon son, chin up.

I know I sounded harsh before but treat it as moving to a new stage of the recovery.

I dont like the snakes and ladders analogy because Its not really like that. Its not a square one situation and more a realisation that an earlier stage thought lighter blocks, no blocks or blocks that could be easily bypassed were anything like enough.

Its a tough devious addiction which relies on mind control. The hardest thing to come to terms with is that our OWN minds were playing these deadly tricks on us. Nobody marched me to a servicetill but my own addicted mind.

There is a stage wher the gambler knows it must stop but cant get on with taking the right blocking measures. That stage is known as just wanting to stop losing more than anything. I had some sort of mental block about self exclusion for 10 months. I told myself that it would be embarrassing and i didnt want to give any details. then I snapped into reality that my worries were nothing and almost an excuse to keep gambling

In a new moment of strength the real online blockers go on or gadgets are handed over.

Best wishes and please keep using the forum