Hello,
My name is Alastair, I am 23 years old and I have a gambling addiction. I first started gambling when I turned 18, I was at the pub with mates and would place football bets (£1-£5) As I won money and also lost money, I would slowly start to increase my betting stake over the coming weeks and months. From putting a couple of quid on a football bet, I would put between £10-30. As I won and lost money throughout that time, The stakes started to increase until I put a £100 bet stake on.
After I placed this £100 bet, I felt quite sad. I had a feeling i was going to lose (which i did) This made me wanting to prove the bookies wrong and led to a £300 stake to try win that money back and also a bit extra for beer money or for more bets.
On the night of the £300 bet, Which I then lost again. (I placed this bet at 1AM on a random team, I was sleeping as was up at 5 and praying that i would win) I then put £700 on Manchester United to win (this was my WHOLE months wage) They ended up drawing against Hull City.
After losing my months wage, I had to apply for some loans. - I have never done that before and feel ashamed to tell anyone about my money problems. I still had to pay my rent, monthly train pass to work etc. My head was about to explode. I went through that month sitting inside whilst mates were going to the pub or going to watch the footy. I said to myself this would never happen again, After the next payday I paid back my loans, I paid my rent and then paid my train pass. This then left me with money for food/beer etc, But I ended up staking it all to try get the money I lost paying the loans. I was chasing money which I knew I would never get back but continuted to do so.
This kept happening over two years, getting loans, paying them off, gamble my wage, get more loans to see me through the month, pay the loans, gamble my wage to win the money i lost for paying the loans etc. - I was losing money quick and fast. I ended up gambling my loans, This has now left me with a £1.7k debt as of today (2nd Dec 2016) I have no money to afford this months train pass or rent. I don't want to get another loan as I know my debt will increase to around the 2k mark but I have no other choice.
I believe it will take me roughly May 2017, to pay off these loans, But by then I hope to be gamble free and to have a positive bank account. I hope i can get help on these forums and hear other peoples stories and how they managed to get rid of their gambling addiction.
Feel free to ask me any questions below. I know its only £1.7K but that is a lot of money to me espeically on my current wage. I need this to stop now before 2k becomes 20k.
Hi Alastair
Welcome to the forum.
First off let me say well done to admitting that you have a problem, one of the big problems people often have is the denial. Some people can go decades before they are ready to own up to having a problem.
In regards to your situation you have to accept that the money is gone and isn't coming back. I know it's easier said then done but if you contiune to gamble, like you say 2k could easily become 20k. If you stop gambling after a few months your finances will start to recover. I have been gamble free now for 76 days and can testify to this. Not only will your finances improve but most likely your mood will as well, I can honestly say that quitting gambling was one of the best things I have ever done.
You mention ealier that you are mainly into betting on football, i'm not sure if you are doing this online but if you are the first thing you need to do is delete all your online accounts and permantly exclude from them. You can also download software that will stop you getting onto other betting sites, I know quite a lot of people on here use K9.
Another thing you will hear quite a lot of is the gambling triangle, this is Money, Time and Location. The idea being if you remove one of these you can't gamble.I realised that the main reason I used to gamble was that I was bored, so I have started filling my spare time with new intrests, reading, mountain biking etc.
Finally and probably the most scary, you may wish to confide in someone. No one likes to admit that gambling has beaten them but if you tell a family memeber or friend they can support you throught this. Gambling loves secrecy, if it's out in the open it's much harder to gamble plus if you feel the urge you can then talk to someone about it. If you do speak to someone you could also ask them to look after your finances for you.
I have found the forum a great place for support and help, read through some of the diaries on here and you will realise that you are not alone. You can beat this but it requires a lot of work.
Good luck for the future
Silver
Silver lining wrote:
Hi Alastair
Welcome to the forum.
First off let me say well done to admitting that you have a problem, one of the big problems people often have is the denial. Some people can go decades before they are ready to own up to having a problem.
In regards to your situation you have to accept that the money is gone and isn't coming back. I know it's easier said then done but if you contiune to gamble, like you say 2k could easily become 20k. If you stop gambling after a few months your finances will start to recover. I have been gamble free now for 76 days and can testify to this. Not only will your finances improve but most likely your mood will as well, I can honestly say that quitting gambling was one of the best things I have ever done.
You mention ealier that you are mainly into betting on football, i'm not sure if you are doing this online but if you are the first thing you need to do is delete all your online accounts and permantly exclude from them. You can also download software that will stop you getting onto other betting sites, I know quite a lot of people on here use K9.
Another thing you will hear quite a lot of is the gambling triangle, this is Money, Time and Location. The idea being if you remove one of these you can't gamble.I realised that the main reason I used to gamble was that I was bored, so I have started filling my spare time with new intrests, reading, mountain biking etc.
Finally and probably the most scary, you may wish to confide in someone. No one likes to admit that gambling has beaten them but if you tell a family memeber or friend they can support you throught this. Gambling loves secrecy, if it's out in the open it's much harder to gamble plus if you feel the urge you can then talk to someone about it. If you do speak to someone you could also ask them to look after your finances for you.
I have found the forum a great place for support and help, read through some of the diaries on here and you will realise that you are not alone. You can beat this but it requires a lot of work.
Good luck for the future
Silver
Hi Silver,
Thank you very much for that, It was very refreshing to hear. The gambling triangle is a fantastic idea and ill certainly try that. I did the gambling online aswell as mobile. Do you know if the blocking system will work on a mobile? As its so easy and conveinient to do it on a phone these days.
im planning to tell a family member next week, They are currently on holiday so im gonig to wait until they are back and tell them whats been happening and explain to them my situation regarding the loans. Hopefully they aren't too critical and make me feel small!
Im looking at new hobbies but there isn't too much to do around here on an evening or on a weekend. Im thinking of taking up running (nothing serious) and also going to the gym a couple of times during the week and also on the weekend. This will help me live a healthier lifestyle and will take my mind off the gambling. I think if i start eating healthier and do some meal prep during the evenings it will take my time of it also.
Ive been looking into adult drawing and colouring, It seems quite peaceful and stress free. Just an idea which might help me. I shall roam around the forums now and in the future and read some of the diaries!
Thanks for your responce and ideas, Very muchly appreciated.
Alastair
Hi alastair1903.
Welcome and you are exactly in the right place by joining the forum. It will be a great help to you.
As of now you must be gamble free and I can assure you that the rest will fall into place when you are free from gambling
Youve seen what its done to you so focus on that You must now in the moment of strength self exclude from everywhere you have been gambling and everywhere else you can think of.
We all generally recommend that you tell someone close. I can see that you have been heavy betting money you cant afford and you will not be able to rationalise it in any way because its a dangerous addiction and dream world.
It is not an income scheme and its not a get it back later scheme so put it behind you. They have never offered you odds for easy money because you really know thats not the way it works.
You can see by writing it down and Im glad you are clear that you had a gambling problem. Debt is a tricky one but financial advice is available and you must put your house in order and not leave yourself stuggling to pay that back. You can only pay back at a rate you can afford but it means no more loans.
You will take a certain pride in living within your means.
So with all the help and healthy thinking you will begin to wonder why you ever did it
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
Welcome to the Forums Alastair1903,
Well done for the steps you are taking towards stopping, and the work you have done so far.
In response to one of your questions in your posts in regards to blocking software, please see this link;
http://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-advice/what-can-you-do/blocking-software
This will direct you to some of the suggested blocking software available. Some blocking software is compatible with smart phones, you can call one of our advisors to confirm on some of the suggested softwares on our website, however you should also research what other software is available and compatible for your smart phone.
Please feel free to call one of our adivisors on the following free number ;
Thank you
Take Care
Forum Admin Team
Hi Alistair my son started gambling small bets like you and soon became drawn in until he got into a vicious circle like yourself of getting paid, gambling, pay day loans. He was anxious he was moody he got himself into a situation that he would never have been able to get out of himself. When I found out although I was really annoyed at him I also felt sorry for him and mum mode stepped in to help. Twelve months after finding out my son is so much better he still has a bet now and again, in an ideal world I would like him to stop altogether but I have to accept everyone is different and deal with things differently. He is out of that vicious circle now he has a house a lovely girlfriend his bills get paid on time he is happy and he has a future ahead of him. Twelve months ago he had none of this! I think one of one the important things is to hand your finances over to someone you trust if you are able to do that. Have someone you can confide in and tell them everything. Read and join in on this forum, join in on the live chat rooms. Well done to you for coming along and wanting to do something about it. You can succeed. Best wishes - wcid
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