Hey,
So I'm new here. Did join another forum around a month ago, but this one seems more active, so figured this would be better.
Hope I'm writing this in the right place.
This may be a long post ha
Started gambling when I was 17. I'm 24 now :/ Someone told me about online slots, and I thought it'd be a fantastic idea to try them out. Worst decision I've ever made. Of course it was super fun at first. I'd set myself a limit of £5 a week and was literally spending 3p a spin. Wish I could go back to that. I had it under "control" for a few years.
Spent a year when I was 18 looking for a job with no luck. Then got 2 jobs within the space of a few months, and quit both because I hated them. So I was feeling pretty disappointed in myself and figured I'd gamble a little more, but still wasn't spending loads. Anyway it slowly started creeping up. Started joining all the online casinos I could find to get welcome bonuses etc. Then started all the emails with deposit offers and free spins.
To make things worse I developed some health problems, and instead of getting that sorted and getting myself a job I pretty much just used the gambling as a crutch and for income.
But over the past couple of years it's gotten a bit ridiculous. Sometimes spending £100 a night. I was always "good" at gambling. I'd always win the money back and even won £1000 a couple times. But the past few months I've been on a losing streak.
A month or so ago I found myself crying after losing again, and finally realised it was probably time to do something about it, then about a week later I started again, and lost again. So I did possibly the hardest thing I've ever done, told my mum. I was dreading her being disappointed in me, but she understood and offered to help me find a job/get my health sorted etc. It really helped just having that secret out in the open. I then self excluded myself from all the sites I use, except one which had a daily offer I couldn't quite give up yet :/ Today I lost £45 because of that offer, so I've now excluded myself from that one too. They're all gone. At the moment I'm sat here with what I can only describe as an irritable/empty feeling, about the fact that I've blocked myself from everything, knowing I can't use those sites anymore(if that makes any sense). But I guess you could say I'm slowly working on my problem, here's to day 1 🙂
Sorry for the super long post. Just helps to write it all out.
Katie
Hi Katie,
Welcome to the forum, I hope you find all the support and help you need on this forum. Please read plenty of posts from other people, it really does re-inforce in your mind that gambling is futile and can be devastating. You have done well to quit now rather than ploughing on with it and landing yourself in even bigger trouble which is very easy to do.
Don't let the fact that you cannot use those websites again get you down, it was a vital thing to do but I can understand how you feel, I felt the same way for a few days when I self excluded from my sports betting websites (I even thought of another "betting system" I could try and i know I would have tried it if I hadn't self excluded) but now I can see it was the first step in my recovery and I don't regret it. Just remember gambling is a losing game and it is a lie and a fantasy and in the long term you can never win. Keep staying gamble free and in a few days you will begin to enjoy the freedom.
Take care of yourself
Paul
Quick update.
Had a little slip up in the evening after writing my original post. Lost another £30 on a site I managed to find that I hadn't blocked myself on.
So I sat there and I went through every site I could think of and made doubly sure this time that I couldn't get access.
So today is day 3 of no gambling, after gambling every day for the past few years.
Ive been playing guitar or Xbox to distract myself in the evenings.
Been reading posts on here which have helped too.
Also I went to the doctors a couple weeks ago about the health problems I talked about. And the tablets I was given are finally starting to kick in, so I don't feel like c**P all the time.
I know it's only day 3 and I shouldn't be getting too excited, but feeling quite positive at the moment. Hoping it lasts 🙂
Hi hun today is only day two for me and I'm feeling so positive today already this site has made me realise all im doing is chucking money away.... Money I haven't got or money that could he spent on our children .. So lastnight I decided from now each month the money I was using to gamble is going on days out for us as a family....
And
Each day I'm going to tick off another day of no gambling! I'm.going to kick gamblings a*s! X
Well done xx We are all on the way to join the calm club x
Great that you found this site. I've been on and off for years and I absolutely guarantee you that it helps.
Just a quick addition here ; you say you've blocked yourself from every site you can think of? No good! New ones pop up every day and I absolutely promise that next time you crave the thrill of online slots, you'll find a site.
The best thing I ever did was install K9 blocking software. No chance of finding one then, it even blocks the lottery site! Get someone to install it for you, ensure that you NEVER have access to the supervisor password and thats a door closed.
Do it now. You'll have your life back by tomorrow.
Have just installed the K9 software 🙂
6 Days no gambling. Day 7 ahead now, since it's gone midnight.
Was feeling really irritable today. Not sure why, but gambling has definitely been in the back of my mind today. Didn't act on it though, which I guess is good.
On the plus side, I've nearly done all my Christmas shopping, which undoubtedly wouldn't have happened if I'd continued the way I was going. I haven't much money, but I'm glad what I do have is going towards presents, rather than being "thrown down the drain."
Also, thanks for the posts on here 🙂 Really does help, knowing I'm not alone in this.
Hi Fender, you're doing great and how fantastic you've bought most of your Christmas shopping now. What a great feeling for you, and not forgetting the grateful recipients! I've reached Day 7 today; congratulations us and ... keep going!
Day 9 today.
Can't seem to shake this irritable feeling at the moment. So moody because I can't have that gambling rush. First few days weren't so bad, but now it really seems to be getting harder. It's lingering there in the back of my mind.
Only thing that seems to work at distracting me is the Xbox. So I've been clocking up a lot of hours on that this week. Nights are the worst for me since I would literally stay up all night gambling, because that's when everyone had gone to bed and I wouldn't get caught.
But I guess getting square eyes from the Xbox is better than throwing money away ha
Definitely better Fender...keep going...I keep playing Pet Frenzy!
Hi Fender, you might not see it now but your brain is slowly being weaned off gaming. You're going through the 'wall' at the moment, but you will get the upper hand as you train your brain. Keep going one day at a time, these feelings WILL subside.
Hi there.
I'm on day 8 here. A few of us have started to form a bond, if you will, of total honesty with each other and daily support and messages.
We also check into the chat rooms as every day (when possible)
This little group comprises of myself, mixer, change and Katiecoo.
Anyone is welcome to join. Rather than just randomly post on people's diaries or pages we actively seeking each other out and just leave messages for each other.
Remember, 1 positive thought in the morning can change your entire day.
I look at my pictures of my ex and the kids and then the bank balance every day first thing and smile.
We CAN and we WILL.
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