Hello All

I can relate to hiding it, I have to hide it constantly form my partner, if I play when he's here I smoke around 5 cigarettes in half an hour just so I can play and hide behind the door( he doesn't smoke so he doesn't follow me) but I end up with a sore throat so it doesn't really work in my favour considering I hardly ever win too!

Thanks for your post, I'm sure im not the only liar not the only person to feel like a completely useless husband and father right now. I have often felt like c**P the morning after (and each time I tell myself its the last time I'm going to gamble and each time it isn't) but this time I have let down the people who care about me most. People who trusted in me to not do this.

I do want to quit, But I am scared of the road ahead. More than half my life has involved gambling and I know I need to quit completely as its no good me just cutting down as the amounts will soon increase again.

I am not a stupid person and I have a good job and nice life, I just want the urge to gamble to go away

Hi L 26, well done for recognising you have a problem with gambling.

I'm 42,started gambling at school; penny up the wall,arcades;cards;bookies and recently on line.
I've gone through bankruptcy;lost thousands all throughout my life;have tried to quit more times than I can remember;im currently 76 days gamble free.

Gambling is all I've known my adult life as well.
You say your scared of the road ahead which I can understand.
I can tell you it's very rewarding.

You get peace of mind back,self respect,no more sleepless nights worrying.
Spending every waking moment thinking about systems,how to obtain money,pay back money,how to win money.

Quitting is a win win scenario.
I can guarantee you will feel better after 2 weeks of giving up.

My light bulb moment came when I realised how ever much I won it would never be enough.
You can't win cos you can't stop.

That 1st bet is the one to avoid.

Self exclude,put up all the barriers you can.
I cancelled my debit card and scratched out the cv2 number so I can't use it on line,just another barrier when I'm feeling vulnerable.

Be kind to yourself.
All the best trigger.

Thanks Trigger, I appreciate your support.

There is many similarities in our story, penny up the wall and arcades seems a lifetime ago but that and fruit machines was pretty much how my teenage years were spent.

I have won big (thousands) enough to buy cars and holidays but it's never enough I am always chasing something bigger.. Perhaps it's not the money but the adrenaline ? Im hoping whatever it is that has me I can be strong enough to let go of.

Congratultions on your 76 days, that seems like a world away at moment but I have gone a whole day (and a Friday at that) without logging in and playing and in some small way I feel like I am moving in the right direction. The fact that my wife is now aware of my situation means that I have things out in the open and call it fear or whatever but I am determined to stay away from the online Casinos and fight my demons

Take care trigger, your reply really helped me last night, thankyou for taking the time to support me

Your very welcome.
Your definitely on the right road now.
For me it is all about the buzz of winning;the bigger the stake the bigger the buzz.
Gambling my way out of impossible situations only fuelled the fire.
The worst thing that happened to me was winning 10 grand of £50.
It was all used as gambling tokens,the stakes just got higher eventually leading to 40 grand worth of debt.

It's time to draw a line under gambling L 26, accept your past losses and move on.
It's not easy there is no magic pill,just a day at a time.

You can do this L 26.
Keep strong and keep posting.

Hello All,

Today is day 4 without gambling and tonight I am going to attend a GA meeting near to where I live. To be brutally honest I am now beginning to get extremely nervous. Yesterday I was quite irritable but today it's totally the unknown and the fear of walking into that room and Not knowing what the future holds. I want to quit and I am stubborn enough to make sure I don't bottle this meeting but I am very very nervous.

Thanks

Hi
L26

The thing to remember when walking through the doors of GA is that every person in that room had the same anxiety as you do @ their 1st meeting they know how you are feeling they have been you. You can choose to talk or just listen no one will force you to open up unless you want to. Which meeting are you going too & if there is anything you want to know about how GA works please ask

Dan

Thanks Dan, from what I've read I know everyone will be in the same situation and im sure I'll be fine, I've been thinking (knowing) for months if not years that this is some thing I need to do, but I kept putting it off and telling myself I could beat this alone. Wrong !!!

The meeting is in Kingston tonight at 8pm. I didn't know if I had to talk or not... Part of me would like to but I'm not sure, I guess it depends how many people are there and how confident I feel tonight. So basically if I just want to sit and listen that's ok yeah ?

Anything you want to do is fine. You can even take someone along for moral support if you wish unless the meeting specifies its a closed meeting. The only requirement for attending GA is a desire to quit gambling. Give it 90 days of your full commitment i promise you your life will improve. Tonight when your 1st meeting is over you will leave buzzing with the knowledge that there is a way to change your life. Try to be openminded & give it time

I will give it everything, and I really hope it changes my life. thank-you for your help, I'm still s****ing myself but I really appreciate your words of support.

Lol do something that scares you everyday its good for your soul ( except more gambling)

L26,

You can do this.

All the best.

L26 wrote:

Thanks for your post, I'm sure im not the only liar not the only person to feel like a completely useless husband and father right now. I have often felt like c**P the morning after (and each time I tell myself its the last time I'm going to gamble and each time it isn't) but this time I have let down the people who care about me most. People who trusted in me to not do this.

I do want to quit, But I am scared of the road ahead. More than half my life has involved gambling and I know I need to quit completely as its no good me just cutting down as the amounts will soon increase again.

I am not a stupid person and I have a good job and nice life, I just want the urge to gamble to go away

You want to talk about lying, I once told my wife that I am going out for milk and bread in the middle of the night. I game back 7 hours later. She said,"Where is the milk and bread?" I said I got hungy on the way back. She already knew I wasn't going out for milk and bread. Our partners already know where we are going or what we are doing. So I haven't lied to her on gambling ever since. Thankfully she has been a good woman. Now its time for me do my part.