Hi, I'm really ready to stop now

Hi and welcome, I'm 31 day gf now so still early days. I've learnt so much from this site, one of the things with your bank card is to request a new one and rub the number off the back so that you cannot register and use online. Download the feee k9 software to block your phone and computer from getting access to gambling sites. Keep yourself occupied with a hobby. REad some of the diaries on here. You can stop this but you have to really want to. Best wishes x

Hi,

Thank you for the support and advice. What you said about the card makes sense but I do need to pay some bills with it, I'll look to remedy that then do as you suggested. I think I'll still have a word with the bank as if they can block online payments it would be helpful for me and countless others. 30 plus days gamble free is to be applauded. Are you starting to feel better in yourself ? A hobby would surely be a good idea, a better use of time for sure. Later tonight I'm going to go through bank statements fir last 18 months and finally get a figure in my head on the losses. I need that for closure I think. Thanks again for your welcome advice and wish you a lovely day x

Morning, there is so many ways that I feel better for not gambling, I've started to like myself again. I used to look in the mirror after a big loss and think why did I do that, who have I turned into. I was with family and friends in body but not in mind because I was constantly thinking of how much I had lost, how much I needed to win back and the time to do it. Mood swings, lack of sleep, poor concentration at work etc., headaches all improved over the last 30 days and the world seems a bright and better place. I've read books, done puzzles, cleaned the house more (did jobs I had been putting off). I had to stop thinking of the losses because that was beating me up and I realised it was a driver to keep gambling . I jumped a Zumba class and bought a dog, breaking the chain money time and location in order to beat this addiction. Best wishes and have a good gf day x

Hi Backontrack.

A great deal of it is understanding what a powerful and highly dangerous addiction it is. It plays with feelings of denial and self delusion as if they were nothing. It creates the conditions in the mind for gambling to continue just like an alcoholic needs the next drink. You are right in that it makes no sense because addiction and indeed a mental illness never does

Your blocks must me an eureka moment of self pride and understanding. They must not be half hearted blocks They must be proper blocks so you need to block from everywhere you could possibly think may be a back up route to gambling. Everywhere!! These companies want your money which is obvious to me now. At the time I was ill with the idea that it would pay my days expenses. Thousands of pounds lost I was still ignoring the odds on machines and ignoring how dangerous and how programmed for addiction they are. I wasnt essentially playing for money....I was playing for the machine to show me some love and to give me emotions from the zombie depressed state I was in. Sounds crazy but thats the truth of a compulsive addiction

I understand denial. It took me 10 long months of talking on the forum before I did anything about it. I was so much in denial at they time I was advising others and still gambling myself. Someone even told me the truth and I got in a huff about it and deleted all my posts in a mild rage. Then finally after and all time suicidal low one christmas I started doing something right about it.

Its horrific and scary how the losses mounted up. I was infact so addicted and ill that two months rent money would go in a weeks sessions. It amounted to over £2000 of money I needed to live on. I only kept a roof over my head because of family help. The real scary thing is my mind was using the fact I could call on help to keep gambling. I was in essence trying to self destruct and together with my counsellor I realise I was crying for help from loneliness and hopelessnesss

I since told my family this and I am closely monitored. I told them of my addiction and that any calls for money were due to gambling. It was a huge relief in many ways and together with proper blocks it sorted it.

I am never complacent and realise firm blocks need to be in place.

I wish you all the best but please please step up the blocks and keep talking about it

Thanks to you both for your replies. It's early days but I'm hopeful I have stopped for good now. I wish I could download blocking software on my phone but it's proving very difficult. I am self excluded from all sites I would use and it's working. I also do not want to put myself in the position I was ahead of Christmas last year. That in itself is proving to be helpful in curbing any urges

Hi there Back on track and welcome to the forum :))

You could always speak with your Internet provider about parental controls or the option to block over 18 sites , all worth consideration ?, have you shared your addiction with any family or friends that your able to confide in ? , addiction tends to thrive on secrecy so if it's got nowhere to hide it can make it far easier to move forward with recovery .

I stopped gambling about 14 months ago now and haven't looked back since , like the advice youv'e already recieved said " You can do this " you just have to want to :))

All the best for now

Alan

Hello Backontrack77 and welcome back to the forum

There are some great suggestions here from other forum users and I wanted to give you some more information on software available. Its sounds like you have taken positive steps in using self-exclusion for online gambling sites. I am sorry to hear you are having problems with the software for your phone please see the link here for different options of blocking software available for all mobile phones. http://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-advice/what-can-you-do/blocking-software#.VBwD8fldXww

There is free counselling available through gamcare where you can talk with someone confidentially and perhaps get the support you need to help you to continue to move forward. You can get up to 12 sessions of counselling and services are available across the UK. If you want to find out more about counselling you can call and speak with an advisor on the helpline 0808 8020 133 you can also contact advisors through the net line. http://www.gamcare.org.uk/support-and-counselling/frontline-services/netline

The helpline and net line is open 8am - midnight everyday.

Keep posting we are here to support you.

Take Care

Forum admin