Hi,
After ready many of the stories on this forum, I have decided to share mine, to see if it can help others and also help myself.
I would say I have had a gambling problem for about 7 years. Like others on here, I started gambling at university. It started with the odd fruit machine and footy accumulators. Then through boredom it progressed to online casinos (blackjack, roulette, slots). I was in denial for a while about my problem, I just saw it as a bit of fun as the stakes weren't super high.
After a while I ventured to the cancer that is FOBT and casino slot machines. The idea of a quick win and a buzz was too bigger draw.
The worst thing that happen to a person with a gambling problem is winning big early on. It draws you in and makes you keep coming back, no matter how much you loose.
I have tried so many ways of stopping myself from setting up blocks from websites to cutting up credit cards.
Unlike other people i have come across, my problem isn't stopping for a week or two. I can go weeks without gambling. It's payday which is my issue. The knowledge that I have that money available in my account is too tempting, thinking that I will limit myself to £50/£100 and everytime It ends up being 5 times that much.
I agree with the people who say that going cold turkey is the only way to stop. I last gambled on Sunday and Its been fairly easy to not gamble, but now its the weekend and there are sports which I watch. I will struggle not to stick a £10 on a game, which then spirals into £100s. An analogy which I like is that gambling is like a drug, football accumulators is like weed which can quickly progress to the heroin of online slots and FOBT. So the only way to kick the drug is to stop all together.
I won't lie over the last 7 sevens years, gambling has given me some very big highs and some extremley bad lows. But sitting here today, the lows far outway the highs. I'm 5 days clean and I intend to see how far i can get.
Hi well done on your 5 days and sharing, start your recovery diary on here and watch the days clock up on the counter. I've found this site really helpful, cried at some of the stories but to be honest they have inspired me to keep gf. X
Now 8 days without gambling. Been relatively easy since i had a busy weekend. Sports will be my biggest issue until payday which is in 2 weeks. My problems are small 10/20 pound sports bets, especially when i have a weekend of doing nothing. Then when payday comes in 2 weeks, online slots becomes my problem. Its been a fairly regular cycle for years.
I gamble smallball on sports, then as soon as payday somes i go big on slots! Sometimes I go on a streak and I feel good about things, but then it always turns and I go on a horrible loosing streaks, continuously chasing losses.
Its been nice, not having that sick feeling of regret and dispair.
Hi Tim123
Welcome to the forum and thanks for sharing your story.
Yes its the knowledge that it may always lie within you dormant or not. I came to realise that I was never really in control and the real test wasnt the periods I didnt gamble. I used to believe I had some form of control because I didnt do it every day.
I remember some of the horror stories when I ended up in an arcade in a Scottish city blowing £500 in one session. I had only gone out to look at some vinyl records and a bit of shopping. I didnt even do that as the black dog of gambling suddenly came over me again. I was having a little holiday and thats all I ended up doing which is a scary thought
Remembering these things helps me focus that blocking and total abstention is the only way. I dont think about it too much now but Im having a period where I want to talk to and help others on the forum.
I hit an all time low when I could pay lip service to it no longer. I went and blocked from everywhere locally and I have never sought out other places. I have never gambled online but I have discussed my feelings with family and I am never complacent. They helped give me the strength and I am glad to be monitored.
I will take any loss of trust and wariness over gambling any day. I report to people regularly that all my bills are paid and it gives me focus. After all if it wasnt for them I would be on the streets now.
Payday and that feeling of being flush is the trigger for many people. I can be a real miser but there is something about a maximum amount of money available. I used to justify it by saying what could it hurt just to take a little bit
Then upwards of an hour later I would be cleaned out wanting to die and not really understanding the confusing process that had just happened. I couldnt figure out why my mind was taking control over all rational thought.
I hope you have all the blocks on because the key is that counting the days becomes easier. It shouldnt be a struggle for those days to rack up and there may be days when you think oh a flutter but you wont be able to do anything about it.
Seconds later you will realise its a mugs game and eventually you will dismiss that itss even worth your while thinking about. You will have better things to do with your time
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
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