How do i do it

Morning Westie, 

Great for you to be on here first of all, and getting it off your chest in some capacity! I would maybe start by putting some bans in place to stop you from continuing.  Gamstop, paired with the Gamban app on your devices really really helps and has kept me gamble free for 3 weeks now (I had barely stopped in 10 years prior to that). Secondly, I know its really difficult letting your family/partner down and I am still feeling the effects of that now and probably will for a while to come, but the sooner you come clean and own up to it, the sooner things can start to heal.  In regards to your debt, speak with Stepchange Debt charity who you can get advice from and will help you come up with a plan of action to manage your debt and pay it back affordably! I know its hard not you chase your losses to 'pay it back quickly' but I've come to realise it never works and there is no 'quick fix' - you will just continue to make things worse and worse.  Speak to your wife, show her the things you've done to fight this sh*tty illness and try and deal with what comes next. I know it sucks admitting you've let her down again, but the sooner the better really. 

Hopefully by the time your counselling comes around you'll be gamble free and in a clearer headspace to try and figure out what it is that makes you return, we all have our reasons, but having stuff in place to make sure you cant return when its heading that way really helps.

Good luck mate.

Shaw

@westie296,

Welcome to the forum, it's a big step to reach out for help, so well done for this. It sounds frustrating to wait until 13th November. It sounds difficult to cope alone with this so it's good to see that you've also reached out to the forum. If you would like some support while you are waiting, we have our Online Support team who's practitioners can provide short term support while you are waiting. You can contact them here: Email Us - GamCare . You can also ask them for their short term telephone support, up to 4 phone calls, which may be a good option in the interim.

We wish you all the best in your recovery

Take Care

Jane 

Forum Admin

Hi mate well done for reaching out i was similar i stopped for 3 years then had a major relapse followed by more relapses i did go Ga on and off for many years the issue with this addiction their doesnt have to be a reason why you keep going back i have had councelling therpy however even letting go off my past i have realised this addiction never goes away for me what had worked is regularly coming on here regardless of urgues even thought their not been many since coming on here i am 810 days bet free however two week ago i had a major urgue has one thing led to another i know why that urgue came so i could prevent it from happening again i was fortunate i had the necessary support in place and i was able to stop this relapse going ahead as an addict the addiction doesnt make sense i simply do not intent to gamble even with the block in place i was planning on places where i could gamble nothing mattered fortunately has i was in a vulnerable state gamcare understood and just by talking to me for an hour the urgue disapered i know for a fact if i had no support in place the urgue would have been too strong and i would 100% relapsed because i understand it has an addiction i am simply not cured so having on going support in place is the only way to remain bet free as their no cure or drug to stop these urgues from coming back

@zt8afh9p2c Thank you for you message and advice, it's gave me some comfort that I've actually spoke to someone about this, what makes it worse is in March 2026 all my defaults would have been removed from my credit score and all my previous debts gone, but I've just replaced them with even bigger ones, it's eating away at me so much, I'm on the edge of breaking down constantly but the fear of potentially losing my wife is too much, I want to know what is wrong with me to do this not once but twice, my mum was an alcoholic, my uncle died of an overdose and my grandad took his own life, could this be genetic, I'm not looking for excuses to pin my mistakes on, just want to know why I'm like this. But thank you for commenting and taking time to help me, I hope you get through your struggles and come out a better person 

@tazman thank you taking the time to comment and share your journey with me, it makes me feel abit of comfort that it's not just me out there and people feel the same way I do, one of the biggest things for me is, from what I've done, I previously stopped at 22, I'm now 28 years old and I'll be 35 before I'm debt free and back on track, that would have been 13 years of my life paying debt, ended up £2000 in new debt. But that's a problem as I know I shouldn't be thinking like that at all but I can't help but think about the what ifs. I need help. Last time my wife said she didn't want to control my finances as her parents were apart of a controlling relationship, but I wish she did now, she's absolutely perfect and never lied, deceived and done anything to hurt me, yet I hurt her all the time with lies about gambling, debt etc, she deserves better, I just pray to God that the better she deserves can be the new me and not someone else. Thank you again for the comment and sorry for unloading as much as I did, it just needed to come out i think