I Have a Problem..

Hi Ines,

Welcome to the land of losers (who hopefully become winners). I don't know why but your post has made me feel very emotional. Maybe it's because I know how you feel - being isolated, in a different country, running away from reality, burning inside.

I was always saving money until I started gambling online. My savings soon disappeared and the credit cards started funding my vice. The thing is that I am very careful with cash but when I have been online with a credit card it just seems like it doesn't matter, it's not real money. Unfortunately it soon becomes real when the post arrives. My advice would be to destroy your credit cards now before you get in too deep. However, everyone here knows that cutting up cards has no effect when they have been registered with an online casino. You will have to call your card company and block the card(s). Look at installing blocking software on your computer. Do you have anyone here you can tell about your problem? Someone you trust? I found that giving someone access to my accounts made me think twice about using them for gambling.

From my experience, gambling will take over your life. You will spend all your time and all your money (and money that isn't yours if you hit the credit cards).

You said you are a researcher. Researchers analyse data. Perhaps you should take some time to analyse the data on the gaming industry. Look at their profits - they are our losses. Make your conclusions. Then make recommendations for your future.

You might not be a UK native Ines but you are a gambler and that means you are at home here - you are with friends and family - us.

Best wishes,

Hi Paul,

Thank you for accepting me and for the advise. This last days were the first time I went to the credit card, but like you said, it did not hit that it was that real until I realise that I spend in two days more that I had spent ever in that short amount of time..The sad thing Is that I did not wanted to do a credit card, I was already a gambler and I did not wanted to go there..but going to other country I just did it in case of a emergency and mostly to buy plane tickets to go home, and now I'm in the situation that I making excuses not to go home to visit, because I can't afford this extra expense..

After reading some messages here I already went to look for blocking softwares, and got one that blocks websites for 24 hours, just have to be strong and do it!

Giving access to someone has one of my earlier ideias, I do not have problems and trusting some people with them, but who can you admite to someone you have a problem? Or why you are doing it without having to explain yourself?..that is where I hit a wall, I could not find a way of doing it without admitting I has a failure. I did try to transfer money to my account in the country I move in, since I can't do payments online here, it did worked to have money to my bills, but every excess I will lost it. And recently I start finding ways of moving back that money..then I use the credit card..and here I am after having break a lot of the principles I had set to myself. Feeling more angry with myself that ever, wishing that the time could go back..Like you said, its like I have really being trying to break from reality, but in the end you never can, you just make it worse.

Thank you again for your advise and mostly for "listening" me. It is really the first time I'm admitting to anyone other than me that I really have a problem, and It really helps to tell it to someone.

Ines

Hi Ines

Well done for posting. I felt some similarity to my own situation. I had kept my gambling my own dirty secret albeit for 16 years, before I posted on here. Looking back I can see now that the reason I gambled for so long was that (incredibly) I refused to accept I was a gambling addict. This is in spite of me spending what I estimate to be over £120k!! I mean there would always be some voice nagging at me to suggest I was but I refused to accept it head on.

I can distinctly remember the trepidation I felt in making my first post on this forum, and then the relief I felt at having admitted to myself I had a problem and that in doing so nothing bad had happened. I then started my own diary on the recovery section.

Like you I also had huge shame in admitting to anyone about my problem. However, for me, I found that the key to my recovery was admitting to MYSELF the full extent of my problems (by writing on here). I subsequently went on to tell my girlfriend but I know that the steps I took in writing here was the key.

I would strongly recommend starting a recovery diary. It can help give you focus and you can share experiences with others in the same situation.

Well done for taking the first step - although you've gambled online for 3 years at least you are now taking action . I've been gamble free for 13 months now and I have no urges to gamble whatsoever. I wish I had faced up to my problem sooner - but I can't change the past and quite frankly I'm too relieved to be out of it then to be remorseful.

Me and many others on here would advocate telling someone about your problem - the reactions tend to be one of support and an eagerness to help rather than negative judgement. This was definitely true when I told my girlfriend. This is also more likely to be the case if this would be your first time telling them. However...if you really don't feel like you can, then perhaps look at it like this - this is your last chance to try and go it alone, without the 'house of cards' falling down.

All the best