Good evening, I've just signed up, but I've been a compulsive gambler for many years. I've often stopped, had interruptions, and I can say gambling has taken a lot from my life. I read your comments with admiration. The worst player among you has a family, a wife, a husband, a helping hand. I have no one. In fact, when my wife found out, she wished me dead. Sure, in the worst times, you find out who loves you or not.
But I'm trying to get out of this for the only reason I have in the world: my son. My desire is to try to give good lessons. Up until now, I've failed. For those who gamble, having a failed marriage becomes even more of a release. I dumped Gamban. I've excluded myself, and I have to make it, even for the sheer satisfaction of knowing that someone is enjoying my failures behind my back.
While your son is a superb reason to change, it is important first and foremost to make this change for yourself, no one else but to better yourself for yourself, I struggled with that concept in my first week or two of recovery, Infact very similar to you I thought my son and my wife where reason enough but until I started doing things for myself it all felt falseÂ
Hi Enzu
Thank you so much for your share and your honesty. It's a hard first, true step to recovery coming on here and admitting to yourself you have a problem. If you don't already know, this is an illness and we have all rewired our brain so it needs a large amount of dopamine from placing a bet, watching it and then the result. Three times the hit of heroine every time we do it !!! This illness can't be cured but can be arrested and stopped in its tracks. There are ways to do this but it's your recovery path. I'm more than happy to make some suggestions if you want them but I don't want to preach to you.
There are two important things in recovery above all else. The first is connection which might be harder for you but the best way to succeed is to build a support network of people you can talk to and things to do when you need it. For years we all isolate allowing the addiction to build. It thrives in our loneliness, frustration, stress and financial wealth beliefs. It makes us think its a shortcut to life. Gambling is the only addiction where the voice talks to you and makes you believe that the only way out is to do more of it. Everyone thinks it's a financial problem. It's not. Finances become a problem through gambling. You will hopefully find out why you gamble and what the triggers are.Â
You are no doubt like me who spent 44 years gambling and didn't know any different. I just thought it was the way I was built and had a ready made menu of excuses as to why I did it. I had no way out. How wrong was I. The worst day not gambling, full of urges, regret and guilt is better than the highest winning day in action.
You are 100% not alone. We are all here to support each other.Â
Try and come to the chatrooms at 8pm which are text only so no cameras. We can chat on there
Stuart
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