Hi
I've been on this forum for 3.5 years. Although you think your situation is unique, believe me, it's not.
All of what you think makes you unique is in fact very run of the mill stuff.
Your belief in your own uniqueness is self- limiting. It's yet another form of 'reason - giving', which allows you to continue. Hello addiction! You alright there- doing your little addicty thing!
On a molecular level, we crave dopamine cos we're not getting it elsewhere. Addictive behaviours offer, UNIVERSALLY - escapism, a way to repress difficult thoughts and emotions, a way of numbing painful relationships, with others, but most importantly, with ourselves.
Learning to love yourself is not naval gazing. Figuring out a path does require honesty of yourself, painful honesty at times. But recovery is actually proactive. Sounds again like your mixing up of naval gazing and therapy is another avoidance strategy. Far easier to wallow to in uniqueness, after all. Which is fine, but know you're living a small life dominated by fears.
Of course, you can delete your posts because no one 'understands', didums, and even tell me i lack self sufficient self awareness (not sure how that can work) or....you can accept your maybe not that different and try and learn.
Louis
I do understand what you are saying Balrog and a lot of this is the learing and therapy to feel confortable in your own skin.
Sometimes I felt the world wanted me to do certain things and I would have been far happier with plenty of space and all the time to relax and do my own thing. I dont like the hustle and bustle of life nad the big rat race chase to be rich. Lets face it that becoming rich only happens to a small percentage of people and it takes, long hours, hard work and a business plan in most cases
I realised that the gambling dens were selling me escapism and a feeling my mind craved and controlled me to get. I had become bored with life because I had become jaded, confused and not willing to live my real dream and be myself
It can all be deep issues in the soul. What partners think of us and if we ever indeed meet the perfect person is just one strand of what makes us human
We get our three score year and ten on this earth and we have to live it as best we can. I have always lived life like its a rehearsal so I know I was perfect fodder to be sucked in by gambling dens.
I think we get a lot pushed at us about what it means to be happy and successful in life. I cant think of anything better than a camper van parked up by a stream. I dont like stress or pressure in life and I dont justify money as a goal if its making me unhappy
There is plenty to do in life like travelling and experiencing things. Its not all about the semi detatched the labradour and the 2.4 kids
Gamblers become bored with life for all the wrong reasons just like I did. Gambling is never the answer. Its not fun when you consider what real contentment, fun and hapiness is
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