As most of you gambling is my dark secret that I hide from everyone and end up creating lots of lies to hide money losses. I'm just so fed up and fed up of feeling so alone I could really just do with a friend going through the same as me.
OK my addiction is online slots and I can't stop! The sad thing is I dont actually know why I play them as I have lots of big wins for example I won 7k last night but instead of withdrawing I will then spin at £100 per spin and gamble until it has all gone and then deposit more.
I've been addicted for years now and had loads of big wins but have Never withdrawn.
I did get in to financial trouble through gambling and a few years ago had a gambling debt of over 100k I was borrowing from everywhere and it was horrible. Thankfully a year ago I cleared the debt and should have stopped then but have Scince spent another 60k
I just want this to stop but slots feel like my life now and a comfort to me. I need to though as losing sleep and feel so down. Every time the phone rings or post man comes I panic.
Wish I just had someone to talk to but I don't. My family are who have given me money they thought it was to pay towards childcare fees and would be heart broken and my husband soooo would not understand other than that I don't really have any other friends so its hard.
Hey I’m new to this site and going through the same thing. If you want to talk I’m here 🙂
Sorry to hear you’re struggling pink, you’ll find lots of people willing to lend a friendly ear on this site. I had similar issues with online gambling although nowhere near the amounts you mention. I was in a cycle of deposit, win, withdraw, cancel withdraw, lose, deposit.......you know how it goes. I registered with Gamstop and it has been a huge help in putting a brake on my gambling. Good luck with everything.
Awwww thank you for your replies this is day one of giving up and I'm not going to lie I got home from work and tried depositing on a new site I opened yesterday but thank god I've reached my deposit limit as otherwise I really would have spinned. I just need to find something else to do but what.... Its crazy isn't it that you have a big win that will sort you out and just waste it in mins. I feel strong that I have joined a forum I need to stop worrying of the mess I'm in though as have spent some of our "buy a bar in benedorm" money I'm just praying I can put it back before we decide to go and my husband never looks at accounts 🙁 does anyone else just seem to add up numbers all day? It's all i seem to do and wondered if linked to gambling? My desk at work is just full of post it notes adding up different amounts of money. Maybe I'm just a nutter
I add up numbers all the time as well! “How much is left after I lost X amount and if I deposit another Y amount what would be left then?”... “If I stop now how many paydays will it take to save back all my losses?” Sums and calculations all the time. Does my head in.
Hi Pink,
Hope you are ok! I am in the same boat as you, I was addicted to online gambling for table games such as Blackjack. I am only 18 and was only gambling for 3 months, but in that time I lost 2k, which is a lot for an 18 year still at school to lose. I was the same as you I lost sleep over it, but when I finally broke down and told my parents everything was so much better, they were extremely disappointed and still are, but I am slowly regaining that trust.
I have been 15 days GF now, and they have been the best 15 days not having to lie or have sleepless nights thinking to myself "if only I had withdrawn". I am signed up with GAMSTOP, got betfilter on all devices, parents control all my finances at the moment. Start today and the days add up. As you have said you're family bailed you out, I always remeber a quote that 'gambling is a family disease. One person may be addicted but affects the whole family'.
Get those GF days up, I hope to see you on here again soon with an update.
Matt 🙂
MattSmith wrote:
Hi Pink,
Hope you are ok! I am in the same boat as you, I was addicted to online gambling for table games such as Blackjack. I am only 18 and was only gambling for 3 months, but in that time I lost 2k, which is a lot for an 18 year still at school to lose. I was the same as you I lost sleep over it, but when I finally broke down and told my parents everything was so much better, they were extremely disappointed and still are, but I am slowly regaining that trust.
I have been 15 days GF now, and they have been the best 15 days not having to lie or have sleepless nights thinking to myself "if only I had withdrawn". I am signed up with GAMSTOP, got betfilter on all devices, parents control all my finances at the moment. Start today and the days add up. As you have said you're family bailed you out, I always remeber a quote that 'gambling is a family disease. One person may be addicted but affects the whole family'.
Get those GF days up, I hope to see you on here again soon with an update.
Matt 🙂
With respect you're not in the same boat and that's a good thing. Let these stories inform you so it doesn't get worse (and it will if you let it).
Hi Pink again like everyone i am in a similar situation. I have probably spent about £300k (this is the first time I’ve admitted this to anyone) gambling over last 12 years! I work in finance and i constantly work with numbers (obviously!) I’m always adding up how much i have left and if i stop gambling i can do this this and this etc... I registered with Gamstop, put Gamban on my computer, betfilter on my phone, told my friend. I also block my bank card and leave it in work and have enough money over weekends etc to spend. I use online banking with key card. I leave tbat in work as well otherwise i can access an overdraft.i sat down over xmas and rather than number crunching actually work out how to stop my gambling using proper ideas other than willpower.. because that didn’t work!!! Good luck to you and all the best you can beat this think of everything possible to block yourself
If you want it to stop your first step is total honesty with your husband. He's going to find out. Telling him now puts you in control of how that happens. It also makes it very much harder for you to gamble in secret. Yes, you don't know how he'll react but not telling him takes away his informed choices which isn't fair. No, he's not going to understand. You will find understanding in counselling (Gamcare offer free sessions) and by attendance at support groups like GA.
Read up here on mechanical blocks, get them in place so you can show him you mean what you say about stopping and then tell him. There's never going to be a good time so no excuses.
Hi I'm new to the site, just registered with Gamstop 5 years self excluded. Feel like a weight is lifted off my shoulders! I sympathise with you it's horrible. If you haven't done already register with Gamstop and free yourself from the online turmoil. For me there is not a win big enough to repair how I've made people feel around me, I am trying to rebuild that trust and brokenness that I have created through years of selfishness and complete disregard for others feelings. I know it won't happen overnight but hopefully with time and determination I can succeed, I only hope that you can too. There is a lot more to life and we deserve to look after ourselves first and foremost before we are in a better place to look after others. I wish you luck on your quest, with God's help we will conquer this terrible infliction that is set upon us and focus on happier times. We are on this planet for a short time got to make the best of it! support through family/friends/virtual friends/self excluding/computer software/meetings can only help us on the road to redemption
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