Lost

Hi Dawn, Today I also posted my 1st thread, I have a massive compulsion to online slots, I have been chasing losses with complete disaster for 6-7 years now. I started off winning then gradually the bug gets you. Every time you lose you think you can win it back, probably could on some occasions but we cannot win because we cannot stop. It is a nitemare to live with, get obsessed with money, looking at the online bank accounts every day convincing myself that another £50 wont hurt, that then goes to a £1000 within an hour or so gone forever. I have lost over £4000 in a week of my own business money that is not mine to have and was due to suppliers today. No funds to pay them now, so no credit account to get materials needed to work. In debt management, maxed out credit card, £3k overddraft on a joint account! When i put it in writing it's hard to stomach! I too have not had a decent night's sleep for weeks.Is it all worth it? NO.

Please consider stopping now before it goes to far and there is no way back, i have been given some excellent advice already by other members of this forum and I only signed up this afternoon. The help is here if you need it. I am on day 1 today, have been here many times before it's tomorrow and the following days that i find are the hardest. This time I am determined to stop for good and not give another penny of my hard earned money to the gambling companies making millions out of us. Good luck, I will keep an eye on your thread and will be in contact soon. Al.

Consider blocking software, self excluding and closing your accounts tonight.

Hi Dawn, you're not the only mug to have done this, I did what you've done many times. I won thousands from online slots, huge progressive jackpots, normal jackpots, you name it. The trouble is when you're a compulsive gambler it all goes back, plus plenty more. You believed a lie when your friend said they win money and finance holidays. If this is the case then your friend has a winning account but it won't last, trust me, you simply cannot keep winning otherwise these companies wouldn't be in business. If you're only 700 quid in the red then you're well lucky, you've hit the jackpot if you stop now. Continue and you will make yourself sick, the ups and downs will feel awful, the lies, that horrible feeling in your stomach, no sleep. How would you look your partner in the eye if you lost thousands more? Because you will I promise. Self exclude, get gamblock, do whatever it takes to not gamble. The money will come back in time, please don't see gambling as a way to earn extra funds, you'll lose everything, not just the money.

Being on here and reading everyone's stories has helped myself a lot, I've been a compulsive gambler since I was 18 and when I win big I end up putting it back in. It feels good to be able to speak to people who under stand how I feel and people who can help me through the tough times, I just want to better my life I'm 22 I should be out with friends not sitting about and working my b*m off to do nothing but bet my money away and make my family feel rotten and also myself, recently has been tough and I've started not sleeping and not eating which has scared me a lot! So I'm on here to better myself and make a better life for myself

Thank you to everybody who has read my post and replied. I jave no option to gamble as the money is all gone or at least the money I can hide for now. I have deleted the apps many times and always redownload them. I have been off work since september since having an operation and missing alot of normal routine which i think has contributed to me looking for distraction in gambling. I feel very lucky to have found this site and have made today my day 1.

I just need to grt my head around being able earn a full wage again now I'll be back at work next week, I can look to doing some overtime to regain the funds rather than online slots. Seems so silly, that I'm guaranteed to get paid at the end of the month but somehow in my mind, putting that wage into a game will make me richer? Again thank you for all your support and best wishes in your recovery x

Hi Dawn, welcome to recovery! There are no long term winners in gambling except the fat cats behind the venture! You have had the good sense to realise very early in your journey (it matters not why you found the sense) & can nip this in the bud before it drags you down to the depths some of us have gotten to. I am not an online gambler & haven't gotten to the bottom of whether the blockers work on all phones. I have however read about people downgrading their handsets to ensure that they do not have the ability to gamble through them! The key to recovery is to break the Time-Money-Location triangle...Removing one makes it impossible to gamble. @ the moment, you have no money so you can't gamble, once you have a cash flow again the demons may try & lure you back with false promises of it being different this time. It won't be, we just keep getting deeper & deeper until we hit rock bottom. If you get the chance, read Mr Brightside's closing post in the 2014 challenge. I would concur that telling your partner may actually help you but accept that this is not for everyone!

You are here because you need to be & want to be & there's no better place to start...Keep strong & keep busy any which way you can - ODAAT

So last night my parents in law were here and asked for us to pay them back for some christmas shopping and two paintings we had bought. Both came to just over £200 and while this normally would not have been a problem, I completely froze and panicked after all the money I had wasted online. When they left I broke down and eventually confessed everything to my partner, and she was brilliant. Told me that although she wasn't happy with what I had done we would fix it together. I slept better and woke up feeling relieved. Still have alot of shame and guilt but I'm determined to never play them again.

Whoop whoop to the support of loving partners 🙂

I understand Gamcare offers support for friends & family which may be helpful to your partner as you will need her support once the initial guilt wears off & the urges started creeping back in.

Be strong, be safe - ODAAT