My Story

Thanks for sharing, I think you have already gone through the hardest stage which is telling people, now it's about not betraying the trust they are putting in you to sort yourself out. Easier said than done! Do everything you can to get today under your belt without a bet, and then take every day as a single challenge to build upon the last. I wish you all the best. James

hi andy

i know where you are coming from,pretty much the same for me

i have been gambling (and trying to stop) for the last 30 years at least.

self excluded myself from the bookies and yesterday after a bad loss of 2000 went to the casinos and resigned from both.

we only have 2 in my town.

started betting in the morning and within 5 minutes i was 200 up,but being not able to stop ended up walking out 2000 down

i am on day one again for the 100000000000000000000 time but will try again,

my partner knows and has taken my cards as well, so this should help, and if you gamble online use betfilter,its the best thing i have ever bought.

good luck with this mate

keep counting the days one at a time.

Day 2.

The £50 I lost 2 days ago my wife new I had it in my wallet, as I'd promised not to visit a bookies again she trusted me (again) and asked me this morning to show her I still had it.

Of course I couldn't and it ended up in an argument (again) about my gambling.

I want her to help me not shout at me but I know full well it's my fault I'm in this mess, and don't disagree with her being angry at me.

It was easy not betting yesterday as I was at home all day due to being on holiday, I had no excuse to leave the house, that coupled with the fact I had no money and there was no inclination whatsoever about gambling.

I'm guessing that's guilt/embarrassment that's telling me I don't need to gamble ?

I have no access to money nor any online accounts where I could gamble (did have but have been closed over the years).

I have the ability to beat this.

..............

Hi andy14

Just reading your story and I have the same problem with my partner. I feel as tho I'm Always letting her down and now we have our first child on the way I feel as tho I need to step up and do it for them not only myself.

Day 3.

Thought several times today about gambling but as I have no money it was an impossibility.

Just now it's second nature to look at football fixtures in the daily paper and think first goal scorer, ht/ft betting etc.

So from now on I won't be buying a newspaper to take to work, hopefully that will dispel any thoughts.

I used to find myself travelling certain routes and low and behold there was a bookies on that route.

Have also changed my routes to/from work ensuring I don't pass a bookies.

Bit annoyed just now with the bookies attitude towards self exclusion.

Sent emails to all the big chains who have shops in my town asking for them to send me an electronic exclusion form so I can fill in and email back to them.

Out of 5, only 2 have done this, 2 have failed to reply (I have sent my request again to them) and another insist I MUST visit a shop to fill a form in, this I find is ludicrous but is probably typical of there apathy towards gamblers.

I have sent a strongly worded email again to them insisting they they email me a form or at the very least post it to me, I will NOT be setting foot in there shops again.

Hi, I am new to all this non betting but I hope I can help as others do!

The only piece of advise I can give you that hasnt been mentioned really is that your wife is probably more angry of the secrets and betrayal than any money lost. You can only feel anger if something goes wrong with something you love, if the love wasnt there then she wouldnt care.

If she is willing to... get her involved more... dont waste your time sending emails.... go in there but make sure you take your wife in with you.... No doubt it will cause you to feel ashamed and embarrassed but surely getting things right with her is more important than a bit of pride.

Obviously it will depend whether she is willing to do it with you..... personally I think she would want to support you however she can.

This is just an idea, I will not be offended if you disagree.

All the best

Day 5.

Steps I've taken so far ;

Removed access to finances - my wife has full control.

Changed my route to/from work - normal route would take me past 2 bookies, now I don't pass them.

Stopped buying a daily newspaper - simple but my first page to read in the newspaper was fixtures and race cards thinking ahead to potential bets to place.

Looking in here multiple times daily - reading others stories and relating so much with them is definitely helping.

Chat room 8-9 - been logging in past couple of nights in the chat room and again it's helping in that there are so many others with the same demons.

Self-excluded - I've self excluded from every bookie in town (online accounts have long since been closed)

Big test is this weekend, big day in football calendar on Saturday and coincides with pay day.

I'm determined not to place a bet over this, my first clean, weekend.

Monday night I'm planning on attending my first GA meeting, and I'm very nervous about it.

Nothing to be nervous about Andy. A GA room is just a bunch of fellow compulsive gamblers coming together to try to find a path through life that doesnt involve gambling. Everyone in there will have walked in your shoes, they will nod & not shake their heads when you talk.
Go there with an open mind & a willingness to change & you will find it an enormous help. It has been my experience that people who attend @ least one meeting a week very rarely relapse, but as with anything in life it will take hard work & a commitment from you. Well done on the changes you have already put in place & best wishes in your first steps towards a gamble free future.

Day 6.

Today would normally see me in the pub with mates all day/night watching the football, kind of yearly tradition with old mates, on cup final day.

This would undoubtably include several visits to the bookies.

So I've broken tradition by watching the footy at home, couple of beers and for a change I'm actually enjoying watching a game as a complete neutral, norm would be cheering for one team who your money was riding on.

Planning on starting a diary on Monday - 1 whole week gamble free.

Thanks day@atime, I will post my thoughts on the meeting in my diary thread which I plan to make on Monday coming, I'm still nervous about it but am going with an open mind and may just observe for the first time as I do struggle with talking to big groups of strangers, have to do this on occasion at work seminars etc and hate it.

Hi andy 14, welcome to recovery 🙂

Congratulations on all the steps you have taken (especially the 1st one as that would have been fish food otherwise) & your amazing journey so far!

It may not feel like it but your wife checking you for that £50 is a sure sign that she's on your side! You had no right to be mad @ her for calling you out but the addiction makes us mean & I reckon it was p1ssed when it realised she was gonna take no nonsense! It is this sort of support that will drive you forwards when recovery feels impossible! She sounds like she will help keep your Time-Money-Location triangle broken & I for one take my hat off to her! Please make sure she knows there is support out there for her too, Gamcare are just a phone all away!

Stay strong today & I look forward to seeing you over in the recovery diary section Monday!

22 years is a long time so you will need to find something to occupy your time...I can see some smiles on the faces of your children in the pipeline! Keep fighting - ODAAT

There will be no pressure to talk if you dont want to Andy. It changed my life. I was a mess, suicidal, huge debts, family & friends used & abused all in the name of addiction. Its hard work, i hated it initially but somehow managed to stick with it. I began to listen & be willing to try things that might work rather than look for reasons why they wouldnt work. Over 8 years later im still there. I watch people turn their lives around, its amazing to witness. Give it your best & i guarantee your life too will improve

iv been through so much because of gambling and almost gave up my life only a week ago. i really felt i had no control and worried more about people finding out rather than the damage i already caused. iv learnt that people think more of you when your honest. the only chance you have of recovery is being honest. and u CANT do this alone. my family gave up trying to help me a long time ago and i now have no option but to do this alone ...(along with alot of help from the guys on here). you simply cant have spare money with you at any time. our brains need reprogrammed not to gamble it, and that will take a long time. u need to hand over control of all finances even the 50pd u blew. dont test yourself. u will fail eventually. treat the addiction with the respect it deserves and u must exclude from every bookmaker, casino etc in the world. what started off a choice to gamble is now a compulsion and u simply have no control. pleasae take all the advice u are oiffered and never give up trying. i wish u every success and join u on your journey x