Hi,
I'm a recurring gambler, started when I was 18, at the age of 26 I lost all my money and had literally nothing to eat. I ate pretty much only eggs from my Dad's chickens and whatever I could sneak out of the fridge.
Turned my life around by going to church, but met a girl and slowly drifted away from church. Again lost all the money I had.
The birth of my son was a huge changing factor for me. I got a well paid job and was hardly ever gambling. But now I am being prevented from seeing my son by my ex and currently taking her to court as I have no other way of seeing him. I am registered as the father on the birth certificate so I have parental responsibilty and therefore (crucially) the right to enforce legal action. Thank God I helped her through the birth of my son, I was there for the whole thing, otherwise I might not have named on the birth certificate and I would have had no legal right to see him. (This law is shocking and should be changed).
So since I have been stopped from seeing him I have found myself alone and with lots of time on my hands and have gone back to gambling to try and pay towards the legal costs and the cost of moving to a new flat. But this money is really needed. I cannot lose it all again, as without the money I won't be able to afford the legal fees and I'll never see my son again..........
So that's why I'll stop. But I want to fix this for good. I don't think it's possible for me to fix this for good.
Welcome aboard
You can fix this and you will fix this.
Just deal with one day at a time.
There is a massive event in your life. I am a father and could not imagine having no access to my children, however remember you are a Dad. You will be your sons father for the rest of his life.
It is a sad position you are in now, but even more of a reason not to gamble. Don't let his mother get any more excuses to stop custody.
You have obviously hurt her a lot for this to get to this point. She loved and respected you once, whilst there may be no chance of reconciliation, you must gain her respect again. Like it or not, the mother of your child will be a part of your life forever (if you wish to retain a relationship with your child that is)
Do not go back to gambling.
Use this extra time to study, work or do some kind of charity or community work. Become a stronger better person. Look after yourself and the other pieces in life will slot in.
You may regret the time spent with your child now, but it will happen and you need to be ready to be the best dad ever - gambling away your 'war chest' is not you being the best you can
You have come here for seek and support. Take it. Don't gamble and be a better man and father to your son.
Be strong.....
Use the love of your son as a reason not to gamble. Every pound lost could have gone towards a special gift for him. Every £100 or so could have been invested in his future. You'll no doubt know this but it's so easy to forget when the gambling blinkers are on.
I couldn't afford to gamble the sums I was doing, it's hard now to save anything at the end of each month. I have three daughters who I hope one day will go to University and then get married, the thousands I lost could have gone towards these. However these losses are now behind me and I look a future without gambling. The benefits this will bring will only be positive.
All the best.
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