Need help from you gyus and hopefully I will do it.

Hi Joydivider,

I know how my mind works. If I want to gamble there is absolutely no software which can prevent me.Installing a blocker software on my PC is just going to provoke me to remove it and gamble.I will go out on Friday and I will enjoy I will come back home tipsy and I will not gamble. On Saturday I am meeting friends for a launch I will probably not drink or maybe a glass of wine and that's it. I do not have any urges to gamble, who knows why the **** I was doing it. Looking it back it does not make any sense. It is not that I am bored or I needed money or chasing losses and I needed to gamble. It was just stupid and it is very likely that I am not going to do it ever again. What I am thinking is: It's probably that I was in search for a winning pattern and I looked at gambling as mathematical unsolvable problem, which is very annoying to me, but I don't know,

I stopped around 2 weeks ago and I have no intention or what so ever to gamble again.

I just wonder one thing: Are the first 2-3 weeks the weeks with the most urge or later would come a pretty nasty urge? This is my first time to declare officially that I am not going to gamble and I do not know how it works.

What I am feeling about gambling right now and not having any urges is just to good to be true, I hope this is it, I hope that there would not be any stupid ideas in my head in 2-3 months time.

Also, I still didn't figure out how writing on this site helps me, but it does. I can write the same thing in my diary in word file, but it would not be effective at all. That lead me to conclusion which isn't proven, but just a theory: It does matter that you are reading this, it does matter your opinion about me and every time I say that I don't gamble anymore to you people, makes my will even stronger regardless that I do not know any of you. Regardless that I do not know any of you, I still don't wont to disappoint you and I'm trying to prove you a point. Interesting.

Also I am writing and reading only very early morning(around 7:00) or when I come back from work(around 19:00). I can not do it during the day because at work they monitor all the pages we have been to, it would be a pretty bad surprise for my boss to find out that I am recovering from gambling. LOL

Thats fine with me as you must handle this as you wish to. I say fine because I can only mention things as I see them and the rest is your decision.

I like a strong mind but it would be wrong of me not to mention what we recommend. Nobody here can or will force you to do things you dont want to.

Im playing my role if you like by giving you things to think about. It may well be as you say...... that you did it.... got more than a little carried away and wont bother with it again. I cant say that some people dont stop as fast as they started with a healthy realisation and willpower. It doesnt commonly or often work that way though.

It was still interesting to me that you said your mother would play. I am looking at reading between the lines and there may be nothing in it. You mention a gambling family and I just try and build up a picture of proud professional people who generally handle things. The gambling neurons will have formed in you as you say it was always present in your life. Maybe proud people who couldnt handle the idea of blocks:) just a thought.

The key is that you wouldnt blurt out to your parents the extent of your losses so you know how serious it is. I hope now that those thoughts will stop you

You mention up and down losses which are not light and you took things to another level. Everybodys losses are relative to their income but Its not like youve lost say a couple of hundred and thought thats enough. I think its fair to say you have given a good go over multiple sessions...you mention 10 years so its not like youve just spent a few weeks doing it.

Most usually after a long period of time with larger bets, it does take much more than officially stating you will stop. Thats all I am saying to you. How you deal with it is entirely up to you

I think my response is concerned about the monetary level your gambling was at. The urges can be subtle and devious. Its a crazy addiction the way it causes misery but can happen again and again.

I dont know your full financial situation and you seem far from destitute so this is your recovery process

Anyway its great that you are typing things down on this site. Its extremely theraputic and works wonders.

You seem to have a good head on your shoulders and you are here so I have high hopes for you

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

HI,

Condition perfect for me to gamble, but I didn't. The conditions: 1.tipsy or drunk, 2.do not work tomorrow, 3.in very good spirit - exactly my gambling night.

I went out with 20-30 colleagues, I got a pretty tipsy (2 bottles of bier and 1 bottle of white wine). I noticed few things:

1. I left with the last people there, usually I leave a bit early so I can get home and gamble

2. During the day( tube, office, launch break...) I am noticing people who have sad faces and associate them with gambling problems - I know it is unfair, but I think they have gambling problem

3. I got back home and I did not continue drinking, because I am not gambling. My usual night would be: double whiskey and coke and gamble on-line, now I do not fill like having a drink, it is like pointless.

4. I don't know why: I feel responsible to write to you this report :-). It is like your are my boss and I am giving you report

What I have done when I got back: I started cooking, my kitchen is mess I will clean it tomorrow. I am trying to make Chinese with pork and rise and made chaos in the kitchen.

I do not have urge to gamble, but I do have urge to write all this.

I will finish cooking (if you can call that cooking). While I am eating I will read the new posts and stories from you. Tomorrow I am meeting lovely people for launch, I always enjoy their time and we have a lot of laugh. The day after tomorrow is Sunday, I will probably watch some FA Cup football, Netflix film, ironing shirts....usual Sunday stuff and the new week starts on Monday where I will be gamble free until Friday.

Conclusion: So far I have a great experience using this site. I do not have an urge to gamble, but I have urge to write here. Also, my day starts with this site and end with this site: I am reading all the stories and all the comments, but I do not write to other stories purely because I don't know what to tell them. There is much more experienced people who can give very good advice, my advice probably works only for people who are my type of mindset. My advice is actually very stupid and simple: Use your will power not to gamble and you will be fine.

That's it from me, I will definitely post something else in the next few days.

Saturday gone, Sunday is usual Sunday stuff, cleaning, ironing, cooking. I still have not gamble, I do not have an urge and I do not wont to gamble.

Around half a month gamble free, I am feeling OK, I question my addiction if it was real, according to the test I have took on this site I was an addict, but I am not sure after 16 days gambling free.

I will post here from time to time, although I am going to read every new stories and posts from other members on a daily basis

Well done chap, you are through the weekend (almost), I am of the same mindset as you in that I can beat this evil addiction alone, I got hooked in my mid fifties after a lifetime of being extremely careful with money, I have a very senior position for the company I work for and was looking at an early retirement with lots of dosh, that is now scuppered completely and I will be working until I drop dead, you appear to be a youngish lad with a good career and a level head, stay off it or you will finish up like me - a guy who had it all and now has nothing apart from memories.

Hi Mikeyfish,

Thank you for your advise. I will stay off gambling forever it is not for me. I like more stability and things I'm in control of. You can not beat the science. Math and statistics always win no matter what you do. I very well understand that.

Reading all this posts I noticed few things: Why when someone expect a baby, start gambling again? It can not be a coincidence, or maybe it is and the explanation is the following: The compulsive gamblers have kids as well, they would gamble regardless, so it creates this picture that expecting a baby is a gamble trigger.

I still have no strong urges to gamble even though I have the magic triangle lately: money, location, time. My only concern is: I read a lot of posts and I've notice that people start gambling after few weeks,months of abstinence. Addiction is like a pattern, what happen to others, might happen to me. Apart from that I am in a perfect condition, lost few kilos because I don't drink that much now when I'm gamble free. I still read all the posts on a daily basis.

Brummy Boy's quote that scared you is spot on. Stopping using is the starting point. To maintain it takes hard work on self so as to be a person who can cope with life without using. Otherwise, to quote SBB, the day count becomes a marker between disasters.

Scary as it may well be, it's doable, it's been done by people just like you and it brings its own rewards. Not easy but always worth it.

Keep the focus on you and what you need to be doing, don't worry about other people. Hope you keep making the best choices.

CW

Hi CW, thank you for your comment.

I still haven't gamble and I don't have urges which I can't handle. Some urges now and than (when I have a lot of time, I'am in good spirit....), but nothing major. Today is Friday and a week or 2 ago I would say it is a critical day, because most of the time in the past I gambled on Fridays, but today is different, I have no absolute will or desire to gamble.

Maybe I should proceed to the next step: What cause it on the first place. Could be anything: Lost the love of my life, chasing emotions from my very happy childhood(gambling family), living alone, boredom.....It can be anything. To find out I will need a psychotherapist.Do I want to find out? Am I ready to find out? - NO

So I will keep of doing what I'm doing and what works for me: Don't gamble, post on this forum from time to time, read this forum every day, Don't give advise to other people because you are not experience enough to give them advises and there are other members who are, I develop a new hobby as well......well that is in a nutshell

Once again, thank you guys,I think that you were the final ingredient for me to stop gambling. This forum should get a Nobel price for humanity.

Not gambling lately have very positive effect on me: not drinking(very little), have more money, loose weight, socializing more, being in good mood all the time, have more free time, develop new hobbies, working harder, following the world around me with much bigger perseverance(watching news for instance), bought 2 holidays later this year, bought a gadget which I was thinking buying it for a long time.

So far it is a great experience, I wish I had a will power and determination long time ago.
I don't have urges and when I have they are very small and I have my defensive mechanism to disappear( I just think of my introduction what I've said: Not gambling lately have very positive effect on me......... )

From time to time I feel bad for what I've done in the past, but I'm trying not to be too harsh on me(blaming solely me, no one else. I was the idiot and the clown in the on-line gambling, no one force me, no one asked me. I had all the attention and love from parents, friends, partners....it was me who messed up). What's done is done and cannot be changed, what can be changed is the future.

Basically, that's it.