Hi i'm Chris (male) aged 25. First time on here, i've browsed the forums for a while, read different people's stories and decided it was time to register. I started online gambling in October 2013 and since then I predict i've squandered away around £6,000 through this dreadful habit. Had no interest in gambling before, well I used to buy the odd scratchcard and put the lottery on now and again but nothing major in the slightest. Then it all started when I discovered online gambling. One of those vouchers came through the door for a free £5 play on a bingo site, so I did the worst thing I could have done and registered with the site and it was all downhill from there. Started depositing the odd tenner here and there, won quite often but never stopped. Lost it and then there I was again, depositing another £10, £20, £30 etc. Playing just gave me a real buzz, even though I knew it was costing me. I've had problems with depression for a long while now and this sort of filled a gap in my life in a way and was something which I enjoyed doing.
Back then it wasn't a major problem, but then I discovered online slots and that's where the real problem started. Not long after I started playing the slots I had a big win of £625 from a 25p bet. I was over the moon, carried on playing and managed to turn it into £1000. Couldn't believe it. This is easy I thought? And yeah, stupidly started increasing my bets and ended up losing the lot. I was gutted. Then the chasing started, sometimes i'd win big again but i'd never stop. Greediness always kicked in. Everytime I lost large amounts I was straight back depositing more than I could afford to get it all back. I was lucky on many occasions but it was just a vicious cycle. I'd withdraw winnings then as soon as they were back in the bank i'd start playing again and losing it all. Over the past year i've became completely obsessed with slot machines, throwing ridiculous amounts into them. I've spent hundreds and hundreds which I knew I couldn't afford to lose which has now led me into debt (not major debt but debt I could do without).
I know for sure now that it's the buzz and excitement it gave me which is the reason i've been doing it, and not really for the cash as i'd always put it straight back. As I said earlier i've probably threw away around £6000 possibly a bit more, since October 2013. Makes me sick to think of all the things I could have done with that money. I also think the fact I was playing online didn't help. Money just became a number on the computer screen and 'not real' in a way. I'm pretty sure if i'd have been stood at a real slot machine with the money in my hand I wouldn't have wasted all that.
I could really kick myself for falling into this trap as I always used to be very level headed and careful with money before all this started and never would have imagined in a million years i'd do something like this. Yet if i'm completely honest, I know i'm still going to get that urge to go and play again?! I know I have to stop this completely as i'll always spend more than I can afford, and i'll never quit when i'm ahead, despite telling myself time and time again that I will - it just never happens. It's like something takes over me when i'm in that moment playing and I just can't stop pressing spin.
Anyway sorry for the VERY long post but I just had to get this all off my chest. I'm determined to stop this once and for all and not get tempted to start again but I know it's going to be incredibly difficult. I'd be interested to hear from anyone else who's had this problem with slots and how you managed to stop.
Thanks for listening
Hi Chris
Your story mirrors mine - and probably lots off other people on here! Your comment about it not seeming like real money struck a chord. Having sat at a few slot machine I am careful of my budget and walk away. But online does not seem real - so more goes in, you lose track of how much has gone in and before you know it 'bye bye £500'.
I have no insight into the why's of it all - usually a rational, sane person who also tried the 'free bet voucher' about a year ago and then kaboom - hooked.
Have you been able to confide in anyone close to you? It does help to ease the self-pity and self-hatred of it all, which I think is needed to recover from it.
Start with day 1, positive thinking 'I do not gamble anymore' and take it from there - personally I know I have to avoid all forms of gambling now, including the lottery. I am sure that many people will welcome you here and offer lots of tips and advice - I'm a bit of a novice at this myself right now and have only just returned from 'falling off the wagon' again......but welcome!
I completely understand where you are coming from, I have a major problem with gambling online and in club, I have a huge slot machine addiction but I'm addicted to online bingo also. Money on the account is the same for me it doesn't become real until it's in your hand and the wait for it seems too long and I'm very impatient. I've just joined and in hope of some understanding it's hard to talk to someone that doesn't gamble so here I am lol.
Knitting? Oh Emily you do make me laugh haha
On a serious note, lots of great advice from everyone.
Its not easy but taking away the ability to keep doing what you do is KEY!
Before you know it you`ll find the days stacking up.
Remember above anything else, what you've lost you've lost, its not coming back.. even if you did get really really lucky some day and won it all back it one sitting thr buzz of that would be too great to walk away from it all. Those winnings would just be played with again and again till they end up back where there came from
Sonic boom i heard an extra factor to that recently, i was listening to a gambler how one actually did win it all back, he won the amount that put him back even after a decade of gambling. Within an hour he had convinced himself that now gambling owed him a wage! That he should have been earning atleast £30 k a year and he therefore had £300k of lost earning to chase.
We were both laughing so hard at the stupidity of it at the time he told me, but its a dark humour too because we knew how many people were still living that madness.
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