I love my man...

As compulsive gamblers we tend to forget the pain ,hurt & destruction we leave in our wake. We forget you are hurting & confused about what we may do next. Help is available to us through Ga , we hopefully begin to feel better our spirits are lifted we see hope. Our partners are generally left with the c**P we created, left in the same crippling emotional state that they found themselves in the day they discovered our web of deceit. Remember you have done nothing wrong, you did not create this, he did! With that goes a responsibility from him to be open & honest with you. You do not have to walk on eggshells around him thinking one wrong word or look from you could destroy your lives again. If he continues to gamble he will ruin his yours & your childrens if you have any, lives. Yes support him, work through things together but do not allow yourself to not be heard with your concerns on how things are going

Thankyou day@atime, he'd doing really well, i think, it's really only just hitting home to me how much it had run me down. There's time to think at last and i feel a bit overwhelmed now, crisis was easier for me, we only had one thing to fight, peace is a bit more confusing. Wish I could speed up my rebuild a bit.

Thankyou for the kind words.

Thanks half life

Thats pretty much describes where we are now. I have relative security holding all the financial reins now, if he relapses then he will have to finance it from a source outside the household. I would like to be more comfortable with it. I can see its an illness and the past is forgiven on the face of it, just struggling now with moving forward balancing everything, it's good to know someone else out there is managing it. I hope i will settle into being gentle and affectionate again, once the new foundations are in place.

My motto for the moment is "I do trust him, I'd trust him with my life, just not my bank card".

Hi Pangolin

I am the wife of a gambler who recently discovered the devasting truth about my husband. The lies are just so hard to get over aren't they? I feel so stupid to have been fooled for years. I know what you mean about the fragile self esteem. We still haven't really reached the calm but every day is a struggle for me. It's not even about the massive debt anymore, it's the disappointment and hurt. We also had a 'honeymoon' period but I think that was his relief that the burden had been lifted. I do believe that if you both want it enough you'll be okay. But I think you're right to feel that things will be different , probably for a long time. I don't think you can rush things along, perhaps you're being too hard on yourself? I think I have become addicted to this forum now!! just helps knowing I'm not the only one in this situation.

Thankyou Katiecola

The lies.... I just dont know what was true any more, jeez I just found out he doesnt actually have a driving licence, ten years after he allegedly passed his test, it took some serious network of lies to keep that afloat all this time. Some of it I have to laugh about, some of it is too heartbreaking. You're right, the money is irrelevant, really pleased to find this forum, you have to do some serious travelling to find a gamanon meeting every day.