New to here, struggling with Gambling

Hi Steph,

Thanks for your post and welcome to the forum. It's absolutely worth it to try and get some help, and well done for reaching out! That takes some courage sometimes, and it sounds like gambling has become more and more stressful for you over the years. I'm glad you're trying to address things now, and the rest of your life could really have a lot less stress if gambling isn't a part of it.

Lots of people use gambling in the same way as you; as an escape from stress, difficult feelings, anxieties, all kinds of things. Over time it becomes progressively more addictive, though, and really becomes something that takes away from your life, rather than adds to it, as you've seen. What are you doing about it at this point? You don't say what type of gambling you do, but there are practical steps you can take, such as cutting off access to online gambling or filling in self-exclusions at the betting shops. Beyond those, what about getting some individual counselling to get into things a bit deeper? That could help you sort out ways to manage your urges more effectively, and help you build a toolbox of healthier coping strategies for stress.

If that sounds like something you might be interested in, feel free to get in touch with us and we could point you in the direction of one of our partner agencies around the country that provide counselling at no cost. It might be really nice to have that support for yourself.

Hope this helps, and all the best with your studies.

Travis

hi Travis, thanks for replying. my gambling takes many form, slots online and on land, roulette in casinos, online and on FOBTS to 2 flies crawling up a wall..basically when i get that urge to bet it can take many forms. Im really hoping that the difficulties i will face stopping gambling will be replaced with a feeling of relief when gambling finally stops being something at the forefront of my mind. I tried some counselling about 6 months ago and found it wasnt really helpful for me. ( although im sure it could be for other people) . ive self excluded from all my gambling sites online bar one, and i have a phone call booked tomorrow to the " self-exclude" team to exclude myself from all bookmakers in the area. Im hoping that if i make my access to gambling a little more difficult it might help. im concerned that I wont be taken seriously in my profession if i cant get the gambling under control, I have many things to be happy and grateful for in life and I hate that gambling often has the abilty to take the shine off the happy things.

Hey stephy...
Nice talking to you in chat today. .
Addiction can affect anybody love...I was reading today about gambling related crimes....many were professional pillars of the community and highly educated people.....just shows the power addiction has ....very scary. ..
Anyway.....your here now ....so welcome and keep on fighting

Hi Loxxie, thanks for all the advice and support in chat today, and i think you are right in that addiction are indiscriminate in who they affect. i would never ever commit a crime, i couldnt live with myself if i thought something made me stoop so low, but you are right in that its a scary prospect what some people would do to fund an addiction, The only money i ever gamble is my own, which ive worked hard for .. and i suppose that is one of the reasons I use to justify me doing it !

Hi Steph.

Back on here today after not gambling for a few month. Losing £1700 today has put me back to square one after saving. I feel 10x better already just speaking to people on here. Gonna try and chat/ post as much as possible to keep my mind off the gambling. 1 day at a time 🙂

Hi step

You cannot rationally explain addiction as it's an emotional response.

This can be hard to get your head around if you are 'logically minded'. You can't explain away feelings of inadequacy and shame. These are things you experience (or in the case of addicts, these are feelings we go to great lengths to avoid).

Yes addiction functions as an escape. But it can't just be a case of stress simply causing this as not all stressed people are addicts. There will be an underlying issue. Generally it revolves around connecting with others and our internal struggles.

My view is that addiction is a symptom of being emotionally repressed - as we are unable to express ourselves as we wish, we seek the sugar rush (dopamine hit) of gambling.

Have you fully accepted your addiction? Reading between the lines I do wonder if you have. Is there an element of distinction of yourself against other addicts? I sense that with your academic progress you feel you shouldn't be addicted. But again, it's an emotional issue here not about intelligence.

You might not stoop so low as to steal, but the real damage here is to the self. In that sense we're all equal.

If we don't accept the reality of our addiction, our powerlessness over it, then it's hard to recover?

Louis

Peddie101 wrote:

Hi Steph.

Back on here today after not gambling for a few month. Losing £1700 today has put me back to square one after saving. I feel 10x better already just speaking to people on here. Gonna try and chat/ post as much as possible to keep my mind off the gambling. 1 day at a time 🙂

HI peddie, sorry to hear you have gambled yesterday, i did too despite making solemn promises to myself to not do so, glad you are feeling better after being on here, and you are entirely right in that today is new day.. for us both.. lets hope its a good gamble free one! 🙂

cardhue wrote: Hi step You cannot rationally explain addiction as it's an emotional response. This can be hard to get your head around if you are 'logically minded'. You can't explain away feelings of inadequacy and shame. These are things you experience (or in the case of addicts, these are feelings we go to great lengths to avoid). Yes addiction functions as an escape. But it can't just be a case of stress simply causing this as not all stressed people are addicts. There will be an underlying issue. Generally it revolves around connecting with others and our internal struggles. My view is that addiction is a symptom of being emotionally repressed - as we are unable to express ourselves as we wish, we seek the sugar rush (dopamine hit) of gambling. Have you fully accepted your addiction? Reading between the lines I do wonder if you have. Is there an element of distinction of yourself against other addicts? I sense that with your academic progress you feel you shouldn't be addicted. But again, it's an emotional issue here not about intelligence. You might not stoop so low as to steal, but the real damage here is to the self. In that sense we're all equal. If we don't accept the reality of our addiction, our powerlessness over it, then it's hard to recover? Louis

Hi Louis, i do feel after various attempts to stop, that I have acknowledged the fact that i have a gambling addiction, whether ive accepted that completely..Well im not sure , does full acceptance of it mean relenting and accepting that it will always be part of my life or simply acknowledging that there is an issue there?. You mention I seem to differentiate myself from other gambling addicts, In a way, yes I do, mainly because I dont feel i have reached a "rock bottom" situation like some other people i have spoke to / read about, however i do wish to ensure that I never reach that stage in the future. I appreciate my academic capabilties have little bearing on my gambling problems , its not that i think i am too intelligent to have a gambling addiction just more so that I find it hard to assimilate the gambling part of my life with the other parts. I dont think i would like to accept "powerlessness" over the gambling, seems to me like that would be like admitting defeat to myself before id even begun my on the road to recovery. Im hoping in due course i can get my head round the underlying causes of my gambling, im dubious as to whether it is due to being emotionally repressed however it is something i shall reflect upon throughout the journey. Thanks for your insight. Steph 🙂

Recognising and accepting you are powerless over gambling isn't admitting defeat. It puts you in a position to start tackiling the addiction. Willpower alone doesn't cut it. If it did, there wouldn't be a need for this forum. It's not necessary to reach rock bottom to need help either and tbh it's a bit of a mythical state anyway. The addiction is progressive and there's always another trapdoor to fall through.

Acknowleding the issue is a good step. Many never even get that far but yes, even once arrested it's always lying in wait which is why meetings like GA can be advisable on an ongoing basis .

Logically speaking there is no assimilating the problem. Mr L is the recovering CG in the house and he's never been able to explain it to me. The place to start stopping is with getting some practical barriers into place to prevent your access to cash and gambling. Once that's done you have some breathing space to start thinking about what's driving the compulsion. Counselling (Gamcare offer free sessions) and GA will both help with this.