Hi all,
First time on this site so hello, this will be day 1 First noticed myself loving gambling when I was young and my mum would take me to the arcade with £5, we'd make it last a good couple hours but i'd always ask if we could do more. Been gambling properly since i turned about 17 and my older mates would go in bookies for me, putting a £1 accumulator on to my amazement picking 10 teams could bag you over £500. 18th birthday soon came around and we started going to the casino and thats where I got into roulette, this was nearly seven years ago. I've had numerous big losses since then and quit for 6 and a half months which was probably the happiest period of my life in recent history, days, weeks would go by where gambling would genuinely not even cross my mind then one day I fell back into it all because I wanted to bet on champions league which started the dominos. Went through on/off phases, quitting for a month or two at a time till i started again back in early february, going on my biggest winning streak ever and winning probably about 6 grand or so. Obviously the reason that I am on here is i have lost all of that and probablies a grand more over the last week, completely wiping out my savings with the last session coming on sunday and using a free bet yesterday morning. My family provide so much financial support to me and if they knew about this they'd be devastated, its really not an option to tell them and the shame would be too much for me. I have a friend who i confide in who knows everything, is really helpful for me to talk to but I feel i need to do something different to get over this, i cant keep doing this every couple of months. I have my whole life ahead of me, a brilliant job for my age and earning really good money but what does that mean if im losing it all? The thing thats killing me the most isnt the money, its about letting my family down and them finding out. How do I get rid of this guilt and take steps in the right direction? I have the confidence that I can beat this, I can deal with the money already gone but I just need some support to get over how ashamed I am of myself.
Hi T92 - first of all so glad you have come on here as a first step to sorting your life out. You really have come to the right place.
My usual opening line for a young person like you is that I am the parent of a gambler so I have see what you are going through and can maybe forewarn you about how bad this can actually get if you do not take some control now. I am glad you have a friend to confide in so at least you have someone to offload the problem to. However as a deterrent to carrying on with the gambling I would strongly advise you to tell your parents that you have a problem with this and ask for their help to get over it and ask them to help moniter your finances for a while. You say you have a great job and prospects, a bright future and it sounds like you are not maybe in dire financial strife as yet. But with gambling comes the secrecy - the secrecy makes it easier to gamble -once the secret is out and close family and friends know not only is it a weight lifted off your shoulders it will make it more difficult for you to gamble. The longer this goes on your stress levels will rise and your parents will notice there is something wrong anyway. This is what happened with us - the problem hit rock bottom and believe you me when that happens it is heartbreaking, not only for you but for the rest of the family and the financial situation was dire. The majority of parents are shocked first of all but most of the parents on here have gone to the end of the earth to help their kids get back on the right path. You are another bright young person who has been led down this path, you are not the first and you will not be the last. I may sound a little abrupt with you but I really hope I can make you think about the problem and how you can sort it out. It is of course your decision about how you handle things but we have used the above tactics and things are looking better now. Please stay in contact with Gamcare or speak to them and try and read some of the threads. You will get plenty of support on here. Good luck and will keep fingers crossed for a bright future for you and your family.
Well thought about having a bet yesterday but managed to resist quite comfortably for once, on to day 2 today
Good for you. You sound happier already. Wish you many more gfree days but still hope you use Gamcare as a bit of a safety net and let us know how you are getting on.
Hi Twizzler, Just spoke to you on the chat. Keep intouch mate, lets beat this
Onto day 4 now didnt really think about gambling yesterday. Friday night and got no plans so hopefully just watch the footy and start to forget about my losses
Onto day 5 now and still struggling to forget my losses, ive just sat in w*********l for 30mins and struggled to not put £300 on the footy to claw back the £1700 lost on sunday but still got 3 hours to avoid until kick off, any ideas? Luckily i managed to walk out and an home now, cant gamble online
Well done to get to day 5. Well done coming out of WHill. You probably saved yourself £300 and added to the £1700 would mean a £2000 problem. Your chances of piling up huge debts are far greater than your chances of winning. Getting to day 5 and walking out of that shop puts you on a winning streak of your own that that is you are making your life better not worse. I know how hard the weekends are and spare time etc but it is up to you to work out ways of taking your mind off the football etc and trying to keep busy with other things. Not easy, I know, but it can be done if you put your mind to it. It sounds like you have a friend you can turn to so don' be afraid to lean on him for support and someone to talk to as well as people on here. Be pround of everyithing you have done to get to day 5 and good luck for day 6! Take care.
Hi Twizzler92.
Your story starts like most of us so you are not alone in experiencing the addiction.
we were all sucked in by talk of "could" win for a small stake but as compulsive gamblers we didnt like losing and neron paths are set up in the brain where we want our reward fix and escape. Those could be in any order as its a complex addiction.
I just want to take a couple of points that need discussing. Gambling thrives on secrets so just telling a friend that will take anything on board is a soft option.
If your family have been a source of income that can fuel gambling as it did with me. I used to extinction gamble with the knowledge that mum would be sympathetic with more money for bills. Really if you are serious about being gamble free its a born again moment where your family should know. Thats your decision but there is no shame in admitting a gambling addiction got to you.
The next point that worries me is that you shouldnt have been in the bookies and only to self exclude. You need to focus that they are far from your friends and its not a get it back later scheme
You have been ignoring the odds on accumulators and everything. You need a new way of looking at life and better things to do. Its clear you are thinking about gambling as many do in the early stages of recovery. You will have those thoughts but the key is that you wont be able to act on them with proper blocks.
Keep using the forum and you will focus on gamling as a losing game. Youve seen the damage it does and it will do that again and again until you are alone on the streets. it has no mercy as you have seen.
Please ring gamcare as many times as you like and start lerning about the addiction.
You can make it history and have a great life
best wishes from everyone on the forum
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