new to this with a serious gambling problem

Hi Mikey, welcome to the forum 🙂

This is a vile, progressive illness isn't it 🙁 I know, I survived it for longer than you've been alive but there is hope. You are going to need to find the strength to ask for help be it from your GP or GamCare who can provide counselling as well as giving huge consideration to attending GA & of course, getting your loved ones back on board. Taking steps to remove your money doesn't fix this, it just buys us time as you have figured but breaking your gambling (time-money-location, remove one & you can't gamble) triangle is vital in the early days. You need to self exclude from wherever you gamble (oldhamktf has a thread if it's in bookies) & instal blocking software (k9 is free but there's plenty of advice on this around the site) if it's online. Handing your finances back over will really help.

And always remember the Samaritans are only a phone call away 116123 if you are really low.

It's a scary position to be in but there is help & it doesn't have to be this way. Well done for coming here, time to start looking after yourself - ODAAT

Thank you ODAAT,

Just really scared at the moment the week leading up to mothers day weekend and I cant even afford her card, never mind telling her this it will break her heart. I just feel like the easy opition which will suit all parties is to end everything here. I am so scared in my mind at the moment.

There is help out there and I no there is people out there willing to help but its taking the first step what I am truly petrifed in doing.

Kind Regards.

You've already taken the 1st step by being here, don't underestimate that!

Telling her will be incredibly difficult but telling her & saying you have called GamCare (they can offer her support too)/have attended GA shows her that you can't do this alone. Have a read over on the friends & family side...All the pain there is there, no-one ever wishes their loved ones dead. It may feel like an easy option to say goodbye but that's a permanent solution to a temporary problem that people left behind never get over. Money can be replaced, children can't & I speak as the sibling of someone who died through illness after a failed attempt, my mother will never recover!

Reach out Mikey, there is a better life out there I promise you!

Thank you for the advice I will try my best to inform my mother I am scared of this tho as I no this will kill her, but I will try

Hey mikey..nice talking to you in chat earlier...
Oddat has given some good advice love.
I can remember the exact feelings you have at having to tell hubby....it made me feel physically sick just thinking about it....but actually it was ok...nowhere near as bad as I had imagined....or as bad as my addiction has tricked me into thinking....of coarse there was tears. ..shock...disappointment etc. ..but it was way better than the fear I was feeling before...
I understand it's a difficult conversation to start...maybe you could put it in writing...I'm wondering as well...us mums often can feel when something's wrong with our babies ..she may suspect something's not right. ..like I said in chat love...get a plan..ring helpline..get some blocks sorted...exclusions. ..all posative things to show mum you mean business...good luck love

Cheers to all.

I really appreciate the advise regarding the situation I find myself in, when it comes down to it. its my fault and I vow to rectify the issues I have put on myself and also the issues it will have ended up putting on my family.

My life has been effected big time by this problem I have its effected my mind my social life my hygiene and its all come from this problem.

I am not going to lie I am hugley scared but I will rectify this issue I promise. Once again thank you all for you advice please believe me when I say this its a huge help.

Thank you

Hi Mikey.

I hope you will be feeling better soon. I have felt all the similar things you have described, suicidal thoughts and thinking how much easier it would all be but the others are right it's absolute nonsense to think the woman that birthed us would rather us be in the ground that to have to hear we are addicted to wanting to win the big time. As seedy and shameful as we feel our secret is it's not impossible to understand. I am having the same issue as you been urged to tell my mam but feel I physically can't. Let me know how you get off with it. I know that the fear is worse than anything we can imagine but it's still petrifying isn't it??

Hope it all works out for you keep us all posted we all here for eachother x

Hi Guys,

Thought I'd jump back on this morning, still not told my mother as of yet, I havent had the courage but I will do. Still feel down and sorry for myself from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep its all I think about is how many people I am going to dissapoint. there is nothing worse than hearing the dread comment from you mother mouth ' I am dissapointed in you'

I will get through this I promise myself and promise everyone else who is reading this.

Thank you

You will get through it mikey. ...many in here have...and most will tell you that once you've fessed up...it makes every thing easier....no point dwelling on what's done/lost. . Concentrate on getting through each day without gambling...your futures yours....it's up to you what you do with it....just remember the good old saying..."nothing will change...if you don't change it "
Good luck...x

Thank you Loxxie, I just wish this was all one week later, due to the timing and the mothers day weekend.

Yes...I can understand that love..but there's never a good time is there...
And from a mums point of veiw love. ..well to me anyway...it's only a commercial day...it's all the others that matter just as much..the little things my kids say or do...that make me smile..
My eldest daughter got her self in bother at an old job..long story..but basically she could have gone to prison...was in all local papers etc ...obvoisly I was upset by it all...but my biggest hurt was seeing her so ashamed and scared by it all...did I ever stop loving her...nope ! I supported her as best I could...
So....like I said earlier ...us mums are tougher than you think x

Hi all,

Just to keep you all updated, I informed my mum last night about the problem I have, she was upset understandable but took it on the chin and said she is going to help me all the way. I shown her the forum and this post as it explains the way I feel at the moment. I can saftley say from Monday I havent had a bet in anyway even tho I have no money. I am determined to never bet again.

I will be giving up my car as I dont wish to hold this responsibilty its like having a child!!! I only live 15 mins walk from work and could probaly do with the excise I will be also seeking help for the illness I have over the next coming days.

Then I need to get in touch with someone to assist helping me with the finicial mess I am in with this. I will not let this get me down and I will take this on as a challenge.

I will beat this illness I am strong enough to do it and I know others who are reading this can do this to. Thanks for all the advice people have gave over the last few days in truly does help. will keep you all updated as I go along.

Thank You

Hi,

In relation to your financial mess as you call it consider giving Stepchange Debt Charity a call who will discuss the best options with you.

I have a debt management plan with them. You let them know your incomings, outgoings (including food, entertainment, fuel etc) and you both come to a decision as too how much you can realistically pay them each month.

They negotiate with your creditors and they pay them a set amount each month on your behalf. Generally all interest is frozen on the debt and the phone calls and letters demanding payments will stop. Plus Stepchange dont charge u a fee like some others do.

It will damage ur credit rating but if you are taking out pay day loans it wont look good anyway.

You can always give Citizens Advice a call for debt advice.

It sounds scary but Stepchange are used to hearing "our stories" on a daily basis. Like me you might have to pay the debt off over a period of time but i can live now without credit cards or loans.

What have u got to lose by picking up the phone or contacting them online???

Best Wishes

Hi Bal,

I heard about Stepchange Debt charity, and the amount of payday loans I have, I doubt my credit can get any worse than it is. I will give them a call and see what advice they can give me and how they can help.