Hi all,
Well I think nothing comes as a shock to a gambler but I just noticed I joined in 2012 didnt do any posts and here we are 2015 and I'm still gambling and obviously in a worse place than I was then. My whole life is/has fallen apart from online slots, I can't seem to stop. I thought I was doing well that I managed 2 weeks (1 week because I had no internet!) but then got that sorted and have blown all my money again in two days! Probably be more easier to cope with the guilt if I could afford to gamble but I can't. I imagine almost everyone is the same. I started gambling probably about 10 years ago. Very small bets at first but over time they've got bigger, the more I win the more I want the more I bet. I'm sure it would be different if it was "real" meaning if I won 1000£ and someone put that in my hand I would bank it, but online although you can withdraw it doesn't seem real, just numbers on a screen. Gamble for fun, get lucky win more bet more then before you know it its gone and then I gamble out of desperation like god, I've lost so much, need to win it back.
A single mother, I've overcome alcohol addiction 3 years ago and suffer with depression and had a very hard life and particularly hard last 2 years. Not making excuses but am told all these things go hand in hand. I just feel so useless and such a failure to my children I just don't know what to do anymore. Advice please. I'm in so much trouble with money and debt collectors etc etc, never ever been in this state. I blocked myself once maybe a year ago online but once that run out I just started again and now I just don't feel strong enough to do that. The slightest bit of stress (and trust me there is A LOT) I just want to get online and gamble. Its like I'm kinda drunk when I'm gambling, like i'm totally on another level. I have no one to turn to.
I have just started counselling but unfortunately its only over the phone not face to face. I have ruined everything. When i'm having a day that I'm not totally in a bad place I read self help books, meditating and how to change yr life books, so if anyone can suggest anything, I really need help. I have no friends, my life is just me, my children, children I have taken into my family, debt and gambling. Hoping to make some very supportive friends on here.
I would really recommend getting out to a GA meeting once a week. I know its hard to do things like that when you're a sngle mum, but the company and conversation of some adults who have been through the same things and are battling through like you do would be such a relief for you. Logistically it probably seems impossible but doing this one thing for yourself can change how you feel about the whole week in between, give you less days where you're in a bad place.
You've made a good start posting here, keep talking.
Thank you. Its taken me so long to post. I'll look again for GA somewhere local. I wanted face to face counselling with gamcare but no space anywhere close to me. I'm sure I can't be the only gambler where I live will have to have another look. I will get all the support I can for now on here.
Hi startagain dan162 here
Thanks for you post I fill really grate full noing there are lots of other people out there I can talk to I'm a bit like your self I have famly around but after nearly losing it all a year ago in so scared of telling anyone I have slipped up or anyone find out I'm seeking help because they will no I have slipped up back to yourself ga really helped me when I first went when people were talking it was like they were talking about me and what I was feeling I made some friends there and going to make it back around my work hope this will help you and if you fill you want someone to talk to post me.sorry I'm also new to this so not 100% how this works
Hi Startagain,
Others will give advice as well as me probably.
One thing you should do is get a block put on your computer to prevent you from gambling online. If you can't afford Gamblock or Betefilter then download K9 ( free). get a friend or relative to set the password so you don't know it. You need to get things in place to prevent your gambling taking place. If you can put someone else in charge of your finances. You need to get the debt collectors off your back as well and put payment arrangements in place and if possible have the interest and charges frozen. You don't have to tell them your a gambler, just say your in financial difficulties. If you need help with doing a financial statement try one of the debt charities (free). Don't go to one of these who charge a monthly fee. If your really depressed with life in general go and see your GP for help. If you can't attend GA meetings you can get free counselling for your gambling problem via Gamcare-try conmtacting them online.
I've been free from gambling for 19 days now and I feel much better. There is light at the end of the tunnel, believe me but you have to take immediate action.
Best Wishes
Hi
start again
You dont need to be either religious or spiritual to attend GA, i am neither, all that is needed is a desire to stop gambling. Smart recovery is good also but is basically the same message as GA reworded, it is also about addiction as a whole rather than just gambling so the meetings are attended by people with a variety of addictions. What part of the country are you in as im sure there will be a meeting fairly close
Dan
Hi startagain, welcome back, I guess, since you were a member before 🙂
Firstly, I want to congratulate you on beating alcohol, I am not a drinker myself but I have grown up with them & I know this must have been very difficult!
Secondly I want to echo the advice about a blocker. You need to break your Time-Money-Location triangle which will make it impossible to gamble! I know at the moment, money is out but as you experienced, you need something else for when you have it again! Blockers prevent us acting on our urges! I am not sure why your type of gambling is called escape gambling...It could be called 'allowing you to bury your head in the sand' gambling! It numbs you & allows you to get away from your grief but ultimately the grief is still there when you come up for air only now it is compounded by whatever debt you have racked up this time! Had you been burying in the sand, you would have been too busy to gamble & concentrating on something so not feeling the grief anyway!
You need to find something else to occupy you & I really believe that coming on here is the perfect antidote to idle thumbs! You will have unwavering support from everyone who knows your pain in some form!
Children are very hard work but when they're not making you tear your hair out, they can be very rewarding! You don't say how old they are (I assume some are not yours either? In which case good on you for giving others a place of love) but use them to your advantage, sit down & do puzzles or read or watch a DVD...This way they reap the reward as much as you!
You may not have many real friends (that is one of many side effects of gambling) but you will find many virtual friends here!
Take everything you are offered & use what is best for you! Recovery is a wonderful thing & you can give this to yourself! We are all alongside you! Stay strong - ODAAT
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