Online sports bets plus high loan borrowing not a good combo

Hi Deano

People normally say there is something the retriggers the gambling again but there is nothing in particular I can say that did it. Last time I had counselling sessions that were paid for by my Dad but I really don't want to bring my family in to it again, as I feel that I would of let them for the second time and I don't want them to feel bad of me. I'm in a half decent job that with will power I can work my way out of debt in future but it's more the here and now that is really eating my up

Hiya Hoddy , Look no easy way out but maybe time to eat humble pie and ask family again , if you repaid them once then I don't see why they wouldn't help you again with your situation ? . As embarrassing as it's going to be , we all mess up from time to time and better for them to hear from you honestly than for things to spiral in to a worse situation with high interest payments ? .

This addiction feeds on lies and deceit which is not going to help with depression , we all get down when we realise what we've done and your right when you say " it eats me up " , I felt exactly the same before I quit and came clean to my family , so I guess I'm trying to say don't do this alone and suffer in silence as there's nothing to lose in opening up because thats what family do in times of need .

Take care my friend and best wishes ...............Alan

You've been given some good advice Hoddy. Hope you take it on board. if thats not enough don't forget about other support like Gamblers Anonymous for example and asking someone to take control of your finances. Man is not an Island. I cannot do it alone.

I can't bring myself to telling them I have made the same stupid mistake again..I got myself in to this mess

Your choice Hoddy and I realise its difficult admiting we effed up again but sometimes we don't always get it first time around , you have to get to a point where you let the past and all its losses go , admit defeat and that gambling has beaten you , just as it has all of us on here , hard to accept sometimes I know but the odds are always against us , especially the longer we play , thats why the gambling industry is awash with our cash and we end up here !.

I seriously think that if you sit down with those you love and hold your hands up , show them what you intend to do differently , maybe let a close family member take control of your finances for a while or at least offer that option they may see that you have a more serious intention to address your gambling problem ?.

Just a thought my friend but as always you need to do what you need to do ! .

Hi Hoddy.

Part of the process of telling people close would be honesty and admitting it got you again. Its the realisation that it can come out of nowhere and I am never complacent to that possibility.

You see if you are not honest and open...all you have is secrets and secrets fuel more gambling and destroy gamblers.

It leads to discussions that it may always be within us If the blocks arent fully on and we are feeling vunerable. I have told people close that I must never be complacent and they must never give me money again without seeing it directly paid to a bill etc. I have told them if Im financially struggling for no valid reason...I must have been gambling again. This is because I have built in a no complacency option. I never felt ready to say oh I will have this beaten in a few months. My gamble free days are flying by but Im not reporting myself as a success story for a long time yet

Keeping it to yourself can eat you up inside.

You need help and your family can be a great help in terms of moral support.

It doesnt make you less of a man to say look you know what......... I need help and I thought I had this under control.

yes you will feel embarrassed but hey gambling can take you to new lows one after another......bankruptcy.... homeless...alone...dead! Whats embarrassment compared to that? My view is that any embarrassment is nothing compared with the serious and deadly nature of an addiction. If you try an rationalise what you have done, it will show you as clear as day how addiction and illness are linked.

There is no shame in telling people so please work on that.

Please ring gamcare and a chat with the doctor is very helpful

Best wishes

hi hoody

going through a similar situation, my family took out a loan for me to pay off all my debts, litterally a month after i have maxed all of those credit cards out, 2500 overdraft taken 5 more loans. i had to tell them because if they found out they would have chucked me in the gutter.

they are angry but are gonna help.

they are going to do things im not going to like... i.e have all of my money

i can no longer have any fun but hey... one day in the future i will. i was going to kill myself after what i did. how much worse would it have been. i still have a caring family around me, and so will you.

good luck my friend x

Hoddy1985 wrote: I can't bring myself to telling them I have made the same stupid mistake again..I got myself in to this mess

Read some of the stories in the family section. Yes they won't be happy but honesty counts

Hi hoddy as the mum of a gambler I would rather know myself. It's up to you, yes they have been there before and will probably be dissapointed but it may be the way forward for you especially if you are able to sit down and make a plan with them like handing finances over etc. I would also email and phone the pay day loan companies telling them the situation, I couldn't believe how they dropped charges/interest rates by £1200 and had a thousand pounds refund off another company! For lack of responsible lending and not looking into the ability to pay back. It will be hard for you to tell them but imagine if you can't control this yourself and you get further depressed and further in debt, as I say I would rather know then you can move forward together. Best wishes. Wcid

Hi Hoddy my son is a cg and many years ago I supported him and took over his finances. A couple of years ago he took back control said he was ready. A few months back I got the call I had been dreading he had messed up again and this time had amassed more debt than ever. I was devastated for him but really releaved that he felt he could come to me too just talk. Open up to your family if they understand your addiction they won't be as surprised as you think.