Hi
I've reached rock bottom and don't know what to do. Bit if background I started gambling playing online bingo and slots about 10 years ago and really enjoyed if to start with didn't spend much. Me and my partner got into debt (not gambling to start with ) that's when it started I was playing to try and win big. I had a few big wins 2.6k 5.5k but that made me worse thought i could win more. That's when the payday loans started and the bill skipping started . Anyway I did stop after coming clean to my partner what had happened after losing everything then having a bailiff letter for the council tax. Fast forward to last 2 weeks and i started again. Everything's gone all our money. I deal with the banks so he doesn't know. Last week I said I had to pay a debt off which he accepted. He's self employed with a friend and he paid himself last night instead of Friday because we were skint and I've spent it all again. I hate myself and love my partner and kids very much. I'm currently 21 weeks pregnant and scared my blood pressure is going to make me have a premature baby again. Why can't I stop for them they are my life and I'm being so selfish . I just don't know how to tell him I'm trying to think up lies but I have ran out of them 🙁
Thanks for reading xx
Hello Amy.8716,
Welcome to the forum and well done on posting your story here today.
'Rock bottom' can be a turning point where you change direction and start working towards recovery more effectively. Perhaps using the forum could be part of support that you use to help sustain your motivation to achieve a more stable recovery. If you like you could start an online diary in the 'Recovery diaries' section in case that helps you to remain engaged with the forum and to derive ongoing benefit from the peer support you can obtain here.
Please talk with your local GP if you have any health concerns for your blood pressure or pregnancy. GamCare offers free counselling appointments in many parts of Britain, if you'd like a weekly therapy session to focus on your recovery from problem gambling, then you can call us on 0808 8020 133 to find out more about services near you.
Many of our forum users who are stopping online gambling choose to put arrangements in place that limit their freedom to gamble instantly on impulse, like self-exclusion agreements, blocking filters, parental controls, limited access to money or increased supervision of spending and so on. There is more info about these methods here:
http://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-advice/what-can-you-do/self-exclusion#.VwUPiPkrK5s
http://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-advice/what-can-you-do/blocking-software#.VwUPofkrK5s
Please keep posting if you find it helpful, and consider joining one of our chatrooms if you'd like a live chat with a group of forum members.
Take care,
Adam.
hi amy
really sorry to hear your plight , i been there , the numbness when loosing just leads to like a auto pilot to the deposit button and then more ££ leads to ££ and it is bloody scary how much you can spend very quickly , no wonder they warn ppl but the industry just loves CG like us and making a lot of ppl at the top of lot of money , you must prioritize family over gambling and put blocks in place no more online gambling as i imagine thats your tipple as you can,t go into bookies and casino with kids , its awful , start a diary i ma too we do it together today , every day just talk and remember the lows and the importance of abstaining FOREVER
joe
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