Relapse

Hi Gary.... we really need to beat this or our lives are going to be over before they've even begun. Good luck in your new journey pal... I'll try and look out for you because we're in the same boat.

Same as myself mate...lost 300 on horses...lost alot more on days but it hurt...had the sweat...the tightness of chest..and then the misery of knowing thats a weeks wages down the drain. Plus i lost 1k last weekend. All money in which i cannot afford to lose. Anyways...lets beat this disease

Just keep talking about it on here, helps so much. We have all done it but at least you're strong enough to stand up to it. one day at a time, stay strong

Gary

Justjoseph wrote: Same as myself mate...lost 300 on horses...lost alot more on days but it hurt...had the sweat...the tightness of chest..and then the misery of knowing thats a weeks wages down the drain. Plus i lost 1k last weekend. All money in which i cannot afford to lose. Anyways...lets beat this disease

Thanks for posting its horrible once the monies gone. I am feeling down again today. The physical and mental effects are not good.

hi Gary, thanks for your support, it is appreciated. Iv'e really messed up this time, lost so much i can't stop being sick. i have never been able to accept a loss, i go chase chase chase. i lost half of my total savings last night, it's gonna be really tough from now on. You seem to have accepted your losses and moved on? how are your daughters growin up i bet ! - Paul

Hey Paul thanks. Yes they are eldest is 17 now and doing an apprenticeship in hairdressing, then 15 and 10!! They are with me this week for their summer holiday week. I have had a mixed 18 months. Have bought a house - positive. Have put a deposit down - positive. Savings ( reduced amount) all in a 120 day notice account - positive. Means I don't have the spare cash at my disposal. On the negative I have had bouts of gambling start small, then bets get bigger.... Was doing well then got greedy again. Had to take out a £2k loan to tied me over as lost on a stupid horse racing bet. That was the last time for me. I have nearly paid the loan off and am determined to reduce the access I have to cash. Any spare money I use to buy some clothes or lock away into house/ savings. It's getting better as time moves on. No I don't have the money I had 4 years ago but I have had to let that go. My last relationship broke down as it was a constant diversion of my thoughts / mood swings and my marriage before. So for me know at 47 I have to move forward and continue rebuilding my life.

Try and be forgiving to yourself Paul. Don't try and solve all your issues in one day. You still have some savings. I know your history well mate what sort of sum have you stil got? Also don't be too hasty with your partner. Don't throw that away love is not easy to find : )

Thanks for the thoughts and posts Gary, I will come back in more detail later, however down the gambling gets me I have to get to work. - Paul

Hi Garydav5,

Sorry to hear about the problems in your opening post. All I want to say is take the "positives" you mention in your last post and feed off them. The more positives you have the better especially when that gambling urge comes knocking. Don't let it upset all the hard work because it will do. I myself have 3 young daughters, eldest is 12 now, stressful YES, but mix it with a gambling addiction, I wasn't a loving caring "dad", I was some idiot who wasn't not fully interested in their young lives. So a big positive for me is knowing I'm a better father than I was last year and with this comes a better person.

Of course I'm dreading any of my girls getting 15+ with boyfriends etc! But one day at a time!

All the best to you. Shep

hi gary, how was your day?, never been tougher for me. My funds are really low now, but no debt. Going forward i'm not sure what's gonna happen, 59 no chance of putting my savings back, the stark reality is i wasted 10 years savings on monday night, just really gutted really gutted

Thanks Shep all the best to you too. You are right I was only half the person to them when gambling. They grow up so fast...

Hi Paul it's been good thanks. Quite relaxed and no gambling urges. Try not to dwell on your savings issues. You have no debt and hopefully your health and strength so try and focus on the positives : )

last post before i go gary, yeah i gave you some support and advice and you listened, if i only had listened to my own advice. these next four days are gonna me tough, if it goes wrong i will be needing more support from you. Enjoy your bank holiday hope yo daughters are around.

Hi Gary, hope your weekend was good with the top weather we all had. For me i decided not to go down the route of owning up to the gambling disaster again. Post 8 on here said 'love is hard to find' dont throw it away lightly. I clung to that comment all week-end, I lay in bed four nights next to her, listening to her peaceful breath's while she was asleep, she seemed happy and content. The week-end as all our week-end's are, was happy and eventful and full of life and food, the only difference was I had halved my savings exactly 168 hours ago. Her finances are no different, she owns her house outright, she will go to work tomorrow to the same job for the same salary, with no extra bills to pay. My mind is saying why destroy her current happiness. ODATT said 'fight' well I have decided to fight for my future, I am going to get out hopefully of this wreck of a town to live in, with endless 'bookies' and go to her in a nice part of the country. Lots of awful thoughts have gone through my head this week-end, if they came to fruition the people left behind would be devasted I know, so its time to fight for a good life. - paul