Hello,
I came here some years ago and got support, GAMCARE helped me stop gambling for a substantial period of time. People here were very supportive and that is why I'm back again, because I need your help. I remember well that logging in regularly here helped me enormously, the level of support and motivation it provided me with was huge.
I was gambling regularly until recently, I had accounts online and also gambled in betting shops and in a casino. I had given up on trying to stop, I didn't feel motivated to try and help myself. Then I met somebody who has had a profound effect on me, I knew I had to change after I met them.
So I closed all of online bookmaker accounts, I didn't stop betting though. I carried on visiting the betting shops and casino. I am sure I'll be advised to exclude myself from those premises, it would be wise to do so. I am feeling super motivated to stop gambling today and it's not because I've just lost all of my money that I'm saying that. I haven't gambled since Saturday, when I bet on the football in a betting shop, then visited the casino and then bet more in a betting shop.
I am intending to stop for good now. I want myself back, I am not myself and haven't been for years. I feel like a robot, a slave to an addiction. I neglect areas of my life which are very important because of gambling, it makes me feel anxious, nervous and down. I want to be natural, balanced and normal. Not having my mood following the same route as my gambling luck, it is a terrible roller coaster ride.
I want to be more positive and I know that quitting gambling will help me achieve that. I know from experience how good it feels to quit and be freed from the shackles. I just want to be normal again, not a zombie. I have abused myself for too long and caused a lot of unnecessary suffering. I am going to redeem myself! I am going to change my life and make everything better.
I have fallen in love and I need to stop gambling because the woman won't accept anything less than perfect, she wants a whole person. Not a shell! I have to be natural and normal. Not an anxious wreck. It just isn't attractive. Fortunately she understands and she believes in me, it is giving the fight to tackle the problem head on. I feel like I can do it myself right now but such bravado is extremely naive. I have something really important to help motivate me right now and it makes it feel easier than it actually is. I know how easy it can be to relapse and I need to be so careful.
I am going to log in every day and stay clean. I want to grow and flourish like a beautiful tall tree.
Sounds like you have answered your own question.
You know what you're risking if you take the easy option of gambling again.
I hope you don't gamble. and I mean that. I reckon there's probably many more good people reading this too who agree with me and hope you can take this chance at happiness you've got,.. Don't blow it by taking the lazy option of giving in and gambling because you can't believe your good luck and feel greedy to get more money.
It sounds like you've really got a shot at genuine happiness right now. Go for it. Don't narce it up with throwing betting into the mix and losing everything.
Be well.
Molehole
Hello,
Reading your post is a bit like a reflection of my own life mate.
I don't really know how often I tried to quit gambling for the right reason as I thought.
But if it is on this why did I relapsed so many times ?
I don't know about you, but for myself I can say that I'm a very inpatient person. Everything has to come quick and in perfection.
I think the problem with us gamblers is that we to often trying to be perfect and to please others. For myself I can even be honest and say that I often tried to give the impression that I'm perfect and better than others. Stupid I know and over a long time I haven't even realized under what pressure I've put myself.
And obviously this self inflicted pressure just directed me back into the gambling hall because a big win will solve all my problems and take the pressure of me.(does this feeling sound familiar to you ?)
About 3 weeks ago I relapsed and I the term of 1 week I lost about £4k just because I wanted to be perfect !
How stupid sound this ?
I didn't bring up the courage to tell my partner because I felt so small. But she finally found out and She was diss appointed that I didn't trust her enough to tell her that I relapsed. I don't really think that your girl don't except anything but perfect, it's more you who to try to paint a perfect picture of you and this is very dangerous. My only advise is try to be you and be as honest with her as possible and she will love for this no more or less is necessary for a relationship. And if it's not enough then it's not the right relationship and will just bring you to a point where you have been before.
I wish you all the best on your way mate and hope it leads you in a long and healthy relationship with your partner
Wolfgang
@Molehole & Wolfgang
Thanks for your support. I live in London and I'm pretty mobile so if I wanted to gamble I can get around and bypass any bookmaker exclusions I impose on myself. It might protect me a little excluding myself from some of the local establishments but they're everywhere and my work takes me to different areas so I really need to stay strong and just say no. I was able to walk past bookmakers today without any urge to enter and I'm feeling very focused on quitting. I want to be perfect for her, quitting gambling and getting myself back would help but it wouldn't make me perfect. I need to fix myself and that's going to take time. I want to do it for myself, I need to do it for myself. Having something big to aim for has certainly helped me, I want true happiness. I have been given a massive kick up the b*m and it's acted as the kickstart that I needed. I am on the right track whereas I felt helpless before. I am clean since Saturday and I feel so determined not to relapse.
I wish you both the best.
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