My names Ryan, Irish & 24 years old. Hopefully won't bore you all with my story & im pretty sure theres plenty of similar stories out there.
Started gambling around 16 years old, do the odd horse or dog but my real problem has been football. From 2 pound accas in the early days to more recently 100s placed. Some winners but alot more losers.
Ive been in full time employment since leaving school at 16, should have a nice savings account, great social life & relationships that normal 24 year olds have. I have none of these.
I've got to a stage that I know I have a huge problem, 5000+ gambling debt shows this. I want to get help but anytime I have a few quid, first stop is bookies.
I haven't built up the courage to go to a meeting but have got a guys number and will be calling it in the morning. A little too embarrassed to self exclude from the local bookies but have closed all my online accounts (pretty much had an account with every company going).
Thankfully through help from my parents paying off my debt is manageable but its time I wised up and got off the gambling. I blame know one but me for my issue & I know its know one but me that will get me sorted and bet free. Im not even enjoying the gambling, I hate every bet I do but for whatever reason I feel the need to gambling anytime I have money.
Today is the start of my adult life (heres hoping).
Hi Ryan
I am quite new to this site too, start of day 4 for me. Your story, like everyone elses here, is definitely not boring. You are still young so you are doing the right thing by coming on here and admitting you need help. I too had accounts everywhere online as slots were my thing. As fast as I excluded myself another new site popped up for me to join. I owe money to family too amongst other loans so will be a long time before I am free of the financial burden. We have no meetings where I live but would have tried them as I was getting desperate. If you can rise above the embarrassment please exclude yourself from the bookies. You only have to do that once and then never have to go in there again. Taking away the opportunity will help a lot as I have found. You don't want the 5000 to escalate into over 30,000 like I have done. Also put a block online. I know it sounds like putting chocolate on the top shelf so a toddler can't get it but it helps not to have the opportunity to gamble. Believe me, I tried everything to get round the block my sister put on my PC but I couldn't. I did manage on the iPad though which has now gone to my grandson. He will make much better use of it than I have done. Eventually, but not yet, I will be able to trust myself not to want to gamble but in the meantime taking away the options to gamble are working for me so please try to exclude yourself from the bookies otherwise you will find it difficult, or near on impossible, to walk past without going in. The lure of gambling is very strong as I have found to my cost.
I have had sound advice and welcoming encouragement from others on here and I have joined the 2014 Challenge (under Overcoming problem gambling) and I know this is going to work for me.
Take care Ryan.
Elfie
Thanks Elfie. I feel so determined right now to sort it out. I will be attending my first meeting on Monday evening. Self excluding will hopefully follow. Its easy now for me not to gamble as im skint, pay day will come & the huge urge will arrive again. Hopefully I will be strong enough to beat the urge.
All the best.
Hi Ryan
So glad you are feeling positive right now and well done for having the courage to go to the meetings. Please try and exclude yourself from the local bookies before payday as we both know the urge is greatest when you have money. Don't trust to chance that you will be strong enough to resist. After all it is 'chance' that has got us into this mess in the first place. Every payday I would think what I would do with any available money but would always blow it all on gambling and then go on to blow the rent and food money as well. I have been known to stay up until past midnight, knowing my wages would then be in the bank, so that I could get my gambling fix. Staying up til all hours then going to work the next day, dog-tired and broke. Full of shame and despair. Everyone else at work was 'just getting paid' and mine was gone already before I had even started the day. I have been living the last few years, not eating properly, never going out, never treating myself to anything nice and borrowing money for food and presents for the grandkids. At my age I shouldn't have to worry about money, should be going on holidays and enjoying myself. Please don't end up like me. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. A life to be enjoyed, free from worry, free from shame and guilt.
I am on day 5 of recovery and I am now positive I can beat this thing. Like you, payday will be coming soon and I know I have no opportunity to gamble, that has all gone with the self-exclusions in place. I can look forward to payday with the knowledge that I cannot gamble even if I wanted to. I also know that I would want to gamble if I had the opportunity. Time will come when I don't feel the urge to gamble but in the meantime taking away the opportunity is the only way to stop for me.
As you say, it's easy not to gamble when you are skint but as soon as you have money in your pocket it will be very difficult to rely on willpower alone. Willpower hasn't worked before, has it?
You may be strong enough to beat the urge and I really hope you are but why take the chance.
Sorry about the ramblings but I want you to succeed and live your life to the fullest, without fear.
Elfie
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