Hello all. I have just signed up here, not ideal but after the last few months, and particularly this evening it has to be done.
I have never really considered myself to having a gambling problem until recently. Around a year ago I moved to London, renting my own place. First time other than Uni I have been away from home, but it was to start a job after university which paid £30k as a starting salary, so great I thought.
I first started ‘gambling’ when I discovered matched betting. Made thousands of pounds in risk free money, but that introduced me into the evil world of online slots and casino games. I don’t really want to estimate how much I have lost, but it will be way more than I ever made matched betting. The last few months have revolved around being paid, gambling due to boredom. Nothing major to start with, literally £10-20. If I lost it straight away, fair enough, that would be it for that day, not to say it wouldn’t be the same again the following day, and so on and so on….
I will talk about what’s happened over the last 24 hours, as I still feel sick. Got a £10 bonus in one of my accounts which had no deposit requirements and simply had to be played through once. Great. Cutting a long story short I somehow managed to get that £10 into £400 which I withdrew.
No here is the problem. That withdrawal can be reversed for 24 hours…..
I went to bed but unfortunately was off today. So you guessed it, withdrawal cancelled and play began. Again the £400 became £800 before rapidly becoming £0, courtesy of roulette. This happened on and off throughout the day.
How had I managed to lose £800 of what was free money!
In my fury I deposited £50,
Then another £50
Then £150
Then another £150
Then £300
Then another £300..
Then I went to deposit more before realising I actually only had £50 left in the bank.
Oh, I didn’t mention that fact every penny of that money was accounted for. Rent, utilities, car payment, you name it, Didn’t have anything spare this month….
I have just blown £1000 chasing the £800 I got then lost from nothing. I feel sick, ashamed and now am rapidly googling short term loan companies, as I will need to get £1k pretty sharpish and payday in 28 days away…
I have had enough. I have self excluded from as many online sites as possible, and reduced deposit amounts to £10 max on the ones I cant get rid of with a few clicks of the mouse.
I only gamble when bored or upset. I don’t think about it throughout the say if that makes sense? Like I said, considering I had a problem didn’t really occur to me until recently, but the chasing, and using money I couldn’t afford to lose, its clear I do.
The hours I work, and now half my monthly wage is gone in literally 30 mins, as when I chase the £10 spins become £20+. I did say to myself on the last deposit, get to £1k and thatll do. I actually managed in, getting to £1004. But did I stop, did I hell….
Im going to record some form of daily diary. Probably wont be long, just to track my progress. I don’t intend to gamble ever again, I don’t need too.
Im sorry if this makes no sense, I am literally typing it as I try and think about the idiot I am. 25 year old lad should be finding a girlfriend, not panicking over finding a grand hes just blown through!
Any advice?
Thanks all
Loads, you'll find it all between these walls but first & foremost, welcome to recovery 🙂
You need to draw a line under your losses & start recovery, One Day At A Time! Install some blocking software to break your Time-Money-Location triangle & do it now whilst you are young, don't wait until you have added another 0 on the end of what you have just thrown away!
What you have written makes complete sense & most of us know your pain but didn't have the sense to reach out for help as quickly as you have!
It may be worth a quick call to Gamcare for some professional advice! You can do this & you must do it whilst your whole life is ahead of you! Don't thrown it away!
Be strong - ODAAT
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well done on recognising Ur problem before the debt spirals even further. The number of times I have experienced exactly wot u describe I could have actually written your posT!
It is not just luck that we win with "free" money. IV no doubt the casinos etc would never be able to admit it but we are always set to a higher win percentage when we join or are being teased back.
They rely on us doing exactly as u did and Ur not alone. Lots of us do.
I think there should be a law that withdrawals can't b cancelled. It is only there to encourage problem Gambling and to work in their favour. What other purpose does it have? How does it benefit us?.
You mention u have set low deposit limits. I honestly don't think this is good enough as u have left yourself a gate to open to go and play. U tell yourself it's only 10pd so can't do any harm. It can. It still gives u the feelings that gamble brings and that u crave. U will move sites, another 10 there, etc etc. And before u.know it u have overspent again and feel terrible that you have done it again. I honestly believe the only way is to abstain completely. Install k9 on your computer and devices (it's free) so u literally can't do it.
Don't chase wot u have lost. Believe me it gets worse! ALot worse.
Put it down to experience. I really wish u well. I have confidence u have dealt with this properly and quickly. Now don't do it again! X
o*g i know how u feel, i wasted all the money in my account last week which like u i also needed for bills ect and then i had a bit ov money in there today and was bored so put a tenner on...turned into 40...won 100 which shud ov withdrawn but lost it and then to compensate deposited another 40 and again made it to just under a 100 but in my head i was like rite a 100 then il stop but cuz i was that couple quid away from the whole number i kept going then slowly it took it all back once again...and now im on here annoyed with myself as iv supposed to ov stopped gambling and now after struggaling by for the past few days due to my stupidity last week...im here again, no money bills to pay and supposed to b goin gaway for a family members hen do next weekend..that shud b fun with no money! they only solice i have is that atleast im not alone..lets all greive together and learn together
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