Hello Everyone,
i have recently come clean about a gambling addiction to my partner, family, friends everyone. The first things I did were to speak to gamcare, register gamstop and gamban, block my bank access and hand over finances. A week on for me I’ve had no urge to gamble which is great. I’m getting help to really see what a disgusting parasite gambling is.
However I do feel that the restrictions that are in place aren’t enough for people like us who have lost the ability to control, and become people we aren’t.
firstly, after 5 years you must essentially reignite the gamstop flame, why can’t you put an indefinite ban on your email?
secondly, my junk Mail is full of ‘free spins’ and ‘free bets’ which don’t get blocked.
thirdly, my bank restricts gambling transactions, I can reverse this within 48 hours by ticking a box.
this is really serious stuff, we need to have it taken from us for a reason. Yet the restrictions aren’t tough enough. Of course there’s always a way, but i just can’t get my head around creating opportunity with time. Hence why I feel sorry for some of the guys relapsing as in some occasions this may have helped if restrictions were tougher. Is this something that gamcare can put pressure on to increase. I for one would jump at the chance to install indefinite bans to sites and blocks on bank accounts as I never want to place a bet again.
thoughts?
Dear @am9,
thank you very much for sharing your story and for raising your concerns around how you feel about the blocks.
I appreciate that you feel that they are not strong enough. But as you also said - if someone wants to find a way they will find a way. The blocks are there to help you along the way, recovery is much much more than just putting the blocks into place. It is a lifestyle change, it is about a better understanding of your triggers. And it is about having a contingency plan in place for yourself when you know your triggers. To learn how to avoid them or cope with them if you can't avoid them. It all about learning and creating new habits, that's what will make your recovery sustainable.
Please take your time in treatment that is a good place to formulate a long term plan. And please also make sure you talk to others here on the Forum and in Chat to see what helps and what works well.
Wishing you all the best,
Eva
Forum Admin
Hi am9.
The main foundations are openness honesty and your born again moment.
Working with people close, you add your own layers ofnblocks by making sure that that your money is protected, you cant reverse tick boxes and making sure that everyone knows you are serious about this and never want to gamble again
This includes changing your email completely and making sure you dont have cards where you ever see the security code. Take a break from gadgets and be well aware how dangerous it can be if you are always hovering around them...the internet is very addictive.
Blocking software are very useful tools but not the most important tools for this job
What you tell the financial institutions is up to you. Some privacy is advised. However nothing is really awkward compared with a gambling addiction which totally destpys people
Your main strength will be the people who can monitor you and give you reality checks. You will not want to let them down and if truly ready you will feel a serenity or pure relief that people are helping you.
The indefinite ban will be what develops in your mind. You can never be complacent again and I promise that you will become proud that you can never and never want to gamble again for the rest of your life
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
@am9 Blocks are just one part of abstinence. You could go to gamblers anonymous which is my preference or seek counselling through the gamcare affiliates, but that is still abstinence. Recovery comes from a progressive change from within, so you don't need the blocks. The bigger picture is a lot of people use gambling as an escape from real life, and if you learn to deal with real life then there is no need to escape from it. I do that by working a recovery program called the twelve steps but others do CBT to make those mindset changes. I can tell you that if I hadn't done the program then I would have relapsed again, but so fair so good.
In the above scenario I'm talking about long term gamblers where the addiction has become the sympton.
For those fairly new to gambling or recognising they have a problem then the blocks are brilliant, but if you read the posts on here you will see that a lot of people have trouble committing to the five year gamstop ban, let alone a lifetime one. Five years is a long time and a lot can be achieved in that time, so I'm just grateful that that is around in whatever format it's in.
As far as banks go, the blocks on gambling usage is designed to get you through the urge stage. If you're going to gamble then you'll find a way, but it's a short term measure designed to get through the desperate time. That time doesn't last, you'll get through it, and the short term block will have done its job.
That's my view anyway.
Chris.
I agree with every word posted above, but I'm playing devil's advocate here:
I suspect the reason for the five-year Gamban limit is because, when people first start out on their journey, they have a completely different mindset to what they have later on.
They haven't 'fully seen it' yet and don't understand how little self-control they have as a result of their compulsion to gamble.
And so their brain tells them 'I'll have this sorted in a year, then I can go back to gambling'.
Obviously, that's often nonsense. And most people with a gambling compulsion realise that along the way.
But, if you said 'you can ban yourself permanently' from day one, it may run the risk of spooking people into saying 'I don't want to do this forever' - so five years affords a strange sense of security.
it will never been stopped because the system makes so much money from it
this entire forum is paid for by our losses along with loads and loads of other things in society
it will never been stopped because the system makes so much money from it
this entire forum is paid for by our losses along with loads and loads of other things in society
Sadly, you're right, but I guess the same can be said of things like cigarettes.
One bit of good news it looks like English football clubs will ban shirt advertising next season.
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