Struggling with urges

Hi Trisk

The urges can stay with you a long time. This is one of the reasons that you need a support base. Family members and fellow GA members can help you through this.

One bet is all it takes to have you back at day 1. You and I both know it isn't worth it. If you do win, you will only gamble the winnings until you lose anyway. Right? And then that awful feeling of self loathing will rear its ugly head again.

It will get easier. I've had some tough days being gamble free, but even those tough days don't come anywhere near my tough days toward the end of my gambling.

Be strong.

Thanks wal1957,

Feeling bit better now just get big down moments still but less than it was before. Yeah never want that horrible feeling again of loosing it all and the feeling of regret anger i still have.
Life will be better gamble free as you say, just gotta stay strong and keep going forward not back. Don't look back unless you can smile, and don't look forward unless you can dream!

the urges don't ever go away completely. I think you need a safety net, and that safetey net is making sure you never have access to a large amount of cash. I recently reduced my overdraft from 1000 to 250. It helps. I also keep my card at home, or at work.

It's important to change your routine too, especially around the time you normally spent gambling. When you first stop, your brain is often still in "gambling mode" even if you aren't actually gambling.

Hi urgh and DeLorean think your both right with your comments. I have access to my cash which definately makes temptation stronger, will look at changing this. And know what you mean brain still being in gambling mode, changing my routine could well help.
Much more relaxed not worrying about bets placed etc, been working real hard recently as well and blowing it on gambling would be awful.
6 weeks i've come that far sure i can keep going further, occupy my mind with other thoughts and not give in. Your support really helps. Thanks

Hi Trisk

" Don't look back unless you can smile, and don't look forward unless you can dream!"

I like your quote. Is that yours or somebody else's? It really does apply to our situation.

Wal

Hi wal1957,

Not my quote heard it from someone a while ago not sure who, think its a poet who said it.
I think it applies to us, look towards what we can and will have being gambling free and the life we want, the past is done we can't change that now but can affect our future.

Hello Trisk,

You are not alone with the urges you are getting. I get those urges too when I am either 1) in need or money, 2) think about the money I have lost, or 3) am bored.

When I need money, I think of slowly and honestly earning what I need to get to it. I think to myself, if I gamble, I am going to need more then what I need now. Once I put it in my mind that my situation will be worse by gambling, that urge goes away.

When I think about the money I lost, I too feel sick, but find that this is the time I need most to forgive myself. I then think about rebuilding the future again, knowing I will never replinish it all, which is ok. When I am bored, I tend to do 3 things. Focus on work, which I find my productivity has increased, focus on my spouse, who seems to be happier she is getting more attention, or my personal favorite, try to find an out of the way coffee shop late at night, which has the best coffee, being a coffee fiend. I find myself talking to taxi drives late at night, as they seem to know where they are late at night. Whatever the case may be, you will find a nitche for when you are bored.

It's a constant fight that will get easier.

I am hoping for your success.

Regards,

AM

I've just checked in on 98 days "clean" on the 2015 Challenge and made a fairly lengthy post on that section on what a swine of a week it's been for me. Just managed to hangin there and keep myself from gambling. I feel this week has been my first real tough test of this year. I come on this site and read some of the common sense and it does really help when you are going through a particularly rough patch. I owe loads to banks and we all know about the "casino style" of banking they got up to. I personally don't give a d**n about them or the money I owe them. However when a payment arrangement runs out they start pestering with automated calls etc. My wife (who has a lot on her plate already) answers when I'm out. When I get in I go through it from her (quite rightly). Then an argument kicks off and I ring the companies and tell them what a set of harrasing set of tw*ts they are. I've already got cases with the ombudsman through banking incompetence. Point is, if I lived alone this stuff would be easier to deal with but when you've got family it's them that get harassed as well as you. When you've been a CG all those close to you get the s**t as well. That's the worst part for me the hurt it can bring to people you love. Not nice.

In a bizarre way because i've caused hurt it helps keep me from gambling again so that I don't add anymore grief to my family. Some lessons have to be learned the hard way I guess.

Cheers

Hi guys,

Thanks for your replies PureJustice i like your 3 steps sounds like a good idea, take a moment and think it through put yourself in a better state of mind.
And MrStop well done on not gambling would be so much easy too, the fact you didnt is a great sign you will beat this for good, keep going bud.
For me 7 weeks tomorrow and this week felt like more of myself again, 1/3 of the way through clearing my gambling losses. The awful feeling i have is lessening and the life without gambling is certainly much less stressful. Actually enjoying sport again for once after a longtime, and although still thinking of gambling i am determined not to do it. Next goal to make 12 weeks free as never gone more than 11 weeks without gambling since the age of 18 a full 9+ years ago!!! Scary thinking about that but excited for a new life without gambling, sure it'll be full of positive things 🙂

Hi Trisk

Just a friendly reminder. Be aware that you can do everything in life except have a bet. Not one single bet. That one bet could set you off again, so whatever you do, don't get complacent and think you have got it beat. The longer we are free from gambling, the more we tend to think that we have somehow got control over it. We haven't, and we never will.

Best wishes

Thanks wal1957 you are right one bet will trigger it off. Close to betting at points over last 7 weeks. Know i might win a bit but will lose more as you say we cant stop.

Thankyou MrStop, as families we are all in it together and the fear partners of recovering gamblers hold can make us a little short tempered, to say the least. When Mr P was gambling, I loathed him and felt trapped, now he is in recovery i do spend alot of time feeling confused. It's wonderful to be in love again, he really is my hero in many ways, but i am so scared of the gambling that i have no control over, so scared of losing him to it again and I can lose the plot with an unexpected phone call or demanding letter and then i feel foolish afterwards for being that way.

You are doing extremely well on the road to recovery when you can show as much patience and understanding as you have done in your posts.

Well done to everyone here who is managing to stay on the wagon in the face of some tough challenges, it absolutley is worth it, all of your successes give me extra faith in my gambler, thankyou.