Hi. I recognised I had a serious problem last year. I sought help and counsellors have helped significantly. I said all the right things. I put a block on my bank account, put Gamstop in place and closed all my crypto accounts.
But, I was recently signed off work and confined to my sofa. Its surprisingly easy to re-open accounts and join new crypto casinos. So despite saying one thing to other people, the voice in my head has convinced me to gamble again. I know its irrational, I know I won't win, I know this is the symptom of my problems and not my problem. And yet here I am ready to make another deposit.Â
I also know that I am not special or unique. I feel like I've let everyone down, again.Â
I guess just the act of posting things here helps. To get it down.Â
So I won't ask for your kindness, but it's wonderful not to be judged here.
I understand you 100% all I want to do is move around the block on my phone and deposit. It's horrendous and I don't know if I am going to actually avoid it. If not today then will it happen tomorrow.Â
Reaching out is really important. I can't be any help because I am in the same boat with a leak as you.Â
Hi both
Have you tried GA in person or online ? Part of GAs philosophy which you might well know is one day at a time and just for today. If you can not dwell on the past, not project on the future but live in the present and just for today not gamble then it helps. It's all about not gambling todayÂ
I hear you, I hope that you manage to fight through the urge and get the support around you again.
Thanks everyone for your support and kind words. I did gamble that day and the day after. My recovery has been slow and the latest part of that has been installing Gamban. It does what it says and the fact that I cant access my crypto exchange means I can gamble even if I could access an offshore casino.Â
I do feel that the whole process for me has been drawn out, but I do feel I'm moving forward.Â
I look at my bank account and I could cry, but if I stay away just for a little while I know it will get better.Â
Thanks again
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Hi David
Well done mate. Doesn't matter how small the steps are, they are moving forward. The biggest thing was coming on here. Have you tried the chatrooms and also speaking to the amazing advisors on here (just click speak to someone button and you can either phone or text chat with them)
Also, have you put a gambling block on your card at the bank ? It's easily done either on your app or ringing the bank.
You mentioned looking at your bank account and the pain. Just shows you how serious this addiction is. There is no benefits to gambling as I am sure you know. Took me 44 years to realise that unfortunately.Â
Everyone on here, is here to support each other. Check in whenever you can and I hope we can chat more on a chatroom
Have you ever thought about putting your "story" up on here ? It was very therapeutic for me although it was painful to open up and took four hours to write (it's called My Story in the recovery diaries section). If you do I will certainly reply along with others so you know you aren't alone
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Stuart
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