Hi, well I have been coming on the site for a few days just reading because I have not felt brave enough to post but I need to tonight because I cannot do it alone!! I have gambled for at leats 7 years and got myself and my wonderful hubby in so much debt!! I keep making promises that I never manage to keep and I have hit rock bottom!! I don't know what to say and I know I need to be honest but it's such a struggle. I spent the money this month AGAIN when I tried to prove I could control myself with £10 and £XXX later all gone, my mum has lent us enough to eat till the end of the month so it should be easy tillpayday but the urgeis upon me and fighting looking ofr a credit card, payday loan anything that gives me the money to gamble!!!!. Ican see what mylife could be but I can't get there, visions of spinning slots inmy head and it's hard!! I don't want to do this anymore it is destroying me but I just can't seem to stop. I am hoping that coming on here will help to provide the support I need to stick thsi time to the empty promises I have made in the past. I can see everything I want and hope to keep disappearing and failing people again and I jsut don't know how to fix it, thousand of pounds down the drain for nothing and still I want to carry on, what a fail!!!!
I know what you mean and I did the same with this site - just read for a bit cos wasn't brave enough but yesterday I finally made the commitment and it feels really good to not be doing it alone.
Like you I still want too play the slots even when the money is gone, it's like one half of me feels I have to chase the loses but even when I'm up I just keep playing via it's fun and a rush!?!
I picture how my life could be as well, I've not been a gambler for long but it's escalated so quickly not sure how I got here and if I can ever get back - but I hope so and am determind to stop letting everyone down. We can do this! Distraction and taking yourself out of situations where you are more likely to be tempted is a good start. Self exclude, use blocking softwares if it's an option for you so even if you do break and try to gamble you physically won't be able to access sites. I'm going to withdraw cash next pay day and only leave/deposit enough for bills as and when needed as online slots are my downfall!
We need to stay strong and keep visualising how good it will feel when we defeat the urges!!
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Thanks Rednow and Joydivider. I phoned last night and it really helped, I know it might not every time if I don't get support so am trying to get counselling arranged and trying to make sure I am honest with those that are there to help me. Even that I find a challenge because you get so used to hiding everything. We are doing the same Rednow and self excluded but I know that is not a fix as if I get the urge I would look gor another one so getting the blocker on the computer and to begin with my husband is taking control of the money, or rather the debt and living!!! I was actually proud of myself today for making that call and writing on the forum because it has started what is going to be a long journey but one i am determined to succeed at. I also now can say I got through day1 , I told my husband that day 1 only started once we ha dmoney and I could gamble but yesterday realise dall the other occassions where that had not mattered and I had taken on loans, credit cards etc to be able to do that and last night I took the first step of not even attempting to do that but speak to someone, so gamble free for 1 day and on day 2!!! Good luck Rednow may we both reach the picture we hope too see!! x
Just checking in Pepsi 🙂
I failed on pay day, badly! Put myself in the worst position I have ever been in financially. It's going to be a long month and next month will also be a struggle but still here with the hopes of recovering and finding my way back to who I used to be.
We can do this! 🙂
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