I really can't do this anymore the amount of stress and hurt I have caused is killing me the guilt is eating away at me..I've been with my husband 2 years and we have a 5 month old and the whole time I've spent 90% of his wages every week on gambling to try and get it all back, just leaving enough for daughters bits ..aswell as all my money and I've even taken my mothers bank card and done it to her aswell taking loans in her name using all her disability money .. They are financially screwed now can't pay any bills my husband lost his car and because I live with my mum she's about to lose the house if we don't get a certain amount of money in the next 2 weeks which makes me turn to gambling to try and get the money and it never works! I won £5000 when I was 8 months pregnant - 2 days later it was all gone back on and was trying to get loans for food and living expenses which is crazy! I had £5000 then it was gone didn't get the chance to spend any of it on anything! It's making me suicidal I've let everybody down and I can't get out of it..my husband has had to lie to his parents and say he's the one with the problem so they don't judge me and dislike me.. And they have given him over £10,000 for my gambling debt. I've only just turnt 22 and have debts of £25,000..Going to be homeless with a 5 month old and my disabled mum all because of me! I can't handle what I have done to them , I've self harmed and I cry constantly i really have ruined everything and I don't see any way out of it, my other half is at breaking point he's so stressed and down about money all the time and so is my mum - and I really can't lose them I'm petrified he's just gonna wake up one day and think sod this I'll be better off without her all she does is cause problems and the same with my mum that she's gonna not want anything to do with me anymore, in a way I wouldn't blame them but the thought of it rips me apart. I've lied to them both constantly about gambling and myself for a long time that it's not a problem but when I sit back and realise what I've done to my loved ones I don't want to be here anymore, my daughter could have everything and so much more, we could have our own house and not be living with my mum still, and my mum could be happy not stressed worried and not selling her stuff to try and pay bills, but because of me it's not possible and I can't live with myself because of it.
Hollie.
Hello PleaseHelp,
I am sorry to hear about your situation and can relate to your gambling problem, as I am an addict myself. I am hear to tell you there is hope. While it is hard to realize it now, you have taken the first step in your recovery by the post you have made.
You will over time, recover financially, even though it does not seem so at the moment. I would receommend giving your finances to someone who is responsible, like maybe your husband or family member.
Just like you did not get into your situation in one day, it will take time to recover as well.
You can make it!
I am here rooting for your success!
This addiction is awful, but it can be beat. Stay on gaurd, as the thought of getting even or back always creeps in. You have to let go of your loses. It is now the past.
Look to us for strength, as together, we can beat this addiction. Do not be so hard on yourself, as you were not made perfect. None of us were.
It is not the mistakes we make that defne us, but how we handle those mistakes that will. I believe you can do this.
I am here wishing for your success Pleasehelp!
Kind Regards,
AM
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