Time for action ... Hello

Hi Python22, welcome to the Forum and thank you for sharing your story.

I empathize wholeheartedly with how you feel.

I gambled for twenty years before stopping around six years ago.

The problem with gambling long-term, as you have and I did, is that worry, stress, deceit, debt, sleepless nights and dark, down days become the norm; it reaches a point where we know little else and it drags us into a place where we can't really remember or identify with how we ever lived or functioned before.

This doesn't mean you have changed, or that you are a different person. Imagine if they banned gambling, worldwide, tomorrow - it would make you feel completely different almost instantly; this isn't going to happen so you need to reach this place in your own mind my friend.

You need to draw a line under this time, and the money you have spent my friend. It may be hard to accept what has happened, but what alternative do you have? At the moment, these precious years are drifting by, and they will continue to snowball where you could be posting on here aged 33 and 43, where you truly have ruined your life and are unable to undo a lot of the damage you have caused to yourself and others.

At 23, you are entitled to have some bumps along the way. What you need to do is ensure that this doesn't turn into something what blights your entire life; the urges you experience aren't a problem - they are only temporary, they soon pass; some days, they might be almost unbearable but it won't always be that way - they lessen dramatically in time, trust me on that.

Concentrate all your efforts on the moment before you start - you have some control at this point. What drives you to it? Push yourself, force yourself to work through it because once you start, you start spiralling into oblivion where nothing matters.

Try and take your life in a completely different direction - make a five year, gamble-free plan - all the things you want to do, all the places you want to go; it doesn't matter if you don't follow through with them but at the moment, you are rudderless, and you need focus and direction to push you through those times where you wallow in hopelessness and resign yourself to your fate.

Set yourself some short term goals and then read some of the stories on here from people who have stopped for a few weeks or months; time without gambling is the only thing that can set you on a better, brighter path - it is not straightforward because compulsive gamblers are not patient people by nature, but you can get there.

It has to be zero tolerance from this point on, no exceptions my friend. It is never about the stake, it is about what it will lead to - I remember being on the verge of giving up, being in a penny arcade, winning plenty of them, then putting them in a fruit machine, losing the lot, then heading to the Bookmakers, just for "one bet to break even", winning, but then the damage was done, I was in and I lost £500.00 within minutes.

Try and be positive my friend. Most people (including myself) come here when it is far too late - you have a chance to take your life in a different direction' value it, aspire to it and do everything in your power to create something better - there will be dark days ahead but that's fine; tomorrow is almost always a better day.

JamesP