Hi all. I hate this feeling like I know it's stupid to gamble but something in my head keeps telling me to have just one go and we all know what that leads to. I really wish I could talk to someone but telling my partner or family is definitely not an option. I can salvage what I've lost without anybody knowing at the moment but if I don't stop now I know I'm heading for ruin..This is my 3rd attempt at giving up .don't get me wrong I'm not back because I've had a big loss or anything but I will deposit £20 almost daily hoping for a win. I just wish I could stop this. And I feel that if I could chat to someone I will be able to do it...so i thought i would rant on here . It maybe daft thinking like this but my whole being feel like a valve that needs to release and once it has I will be able to think clearly.Sorry if I'm rambling but it feels good even if it doesn't make much sense lol. I WILL OVERCOME THIS SOMEHOW.
I am tempted to say nothing is in our heads which is why we gamble but it's not as straightforward as that. I spent most of my time in a mad panic but achieving absolutely nothing. Need to focus that energy on a more productive project
Hi sharins0903.
When you start a recovery process you will learn all about the addiction and what it is that kept you gambling.
You must stop now and please ring gamcare as many times as you like for the one to one voice. You are at an early stage when you are starting to realise there is no upside to what you are doing. Indeed it will ruin you and its already taken your pride and self respect. It creates secrecy because you actually know its wrong but your mind is driving you for its own ends. In reality at the moment you just want to stop losing
Like all problem gamblers you are ignoring the odds and you are ignoring reality. What big win are you hoping for then? Write down what gambling has done to you so far and focus on that
You do need to talk to someone and there is no shame in admitting to a gambling problem. Whats scaring you about talking to family. You need to discuss that because we know the real reasons like large amounts lost over time and being scared to tell people about it
You need that ray of light and born again moment when you start self excluding and proper blocks. You can do it when you really want to.
Being gamble free is a wonderful feeling.
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
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