This is my second time posting on here, I actually made a post when I was 18 I am now 24 and not a lot has changed in that time.
My gambiling problem started just after I had turned 18 and someone at work had mentioned about winning on online bingo, so i signed up deposited £20 and on the very first game I played I won the full house and won £100. I thought wow this great and withdrew the money, When I look back now I wish I had actually lost my £20 deposit as that probably would have put me off ever playing again but we all know these sites let you win when you first join up.
After a while of playing bingo I discovered online slots this was when things really got bad when I was 18 I was given £5000 from my parents and I remember depositing the whole lot in one night and just losing every last penny. I told my dad about it the next day and explained everything and how bad my gambling had become he was actually very understanding about the situation.
Few months down the line you would think I would have learned my lesson but no I was back to gambling but this time I had managed to get my self in to a lot of debt, few years later I confessed about the whole thing to my parents who cleared all the debt. I swore I would never do it again. There has now been 4 occasions where I have had loans, credit cards and overdrafts paid off because I never learn.
Last year in June was the most recent confession where my dad new I really did have a serious problem yet again thousands of pounds worth of debt was paid off. This time he actually asked for my passwords for online banking so he could regularly check that I wasn't making any gambling transactions. This really helped me as I new I couldn't gamble because he would be able to see. I actually managed to stop gambling for 4 months which for me was a massive achievement the urges were defiantly still there I just new I couldn't risk it as the transactions would show on my statement. We all know problem gamblers are compulsive liars and will always be able to find a way to gamble, which I did, after a while I new he wasn't really checking up on my accounts so I changed the password and user name to one of my online banking accounts and used the accounts on there.
I am in fact self excluded from all most every site possible I actually struggle to find one I can even sign up to but I did manage to find one a few months back and had managed to max out a credit card Within a couple of hours, I then took out a loan to pay that off but obviously I just maxed it out again. I decided to close the one casino account I had open and said to my self I would never play online slots again. So what else could I do now, Well I like poker let's give that ago started off well but yet again back to the same situation I've always found my self in.
Tonight I decided to reopen the casino i purposely didn't self exclude from and deposited my whole months wage and Ive lost the lot haven't paid the rent etc.. And I've left my self with something like £30 until my next payday which is in a months time. I honestly don't even know what to do anymore there is no way I can ever tell friends and family members that this has happened again. I feel awful and I can't stand the constant lies I have to tell everyone. The debt I have now is just about manageable but it's just getting through the month ahead.
I'm just at that point now where I don't even know what to do anymore. I know I could give up online casinos but a apart of me wants to keep trying at the poker.
Sorry for the lengthy post and the grammar im not the best at writing things like this.
Hello As91,
I have good news. You will stop gambling, one way or another. The choice is yours as to how you wish to stop. You can either wait till you have no more money and access to money, or you can fight the battle now.
Gambling is a no win situation. If you win money, you will lose it later. If you lose money you will lose, just faster.
You will eventually get to the point where you are sick and tired of being sick and tired.
With respect to you current situation, take it as a learning experience, and remember these feelings of vulnerability. Nothing is ever given. Everything has to be earned. Find other outlets of escape when fighting the urge to gamble, as gambling is just an escape from our problems, and creates a fantasy world.
You can beat this.
I am here wishing for your success.
AM
all the debt all the hurt its caused you and your famliy these are the memories u need to keep reminding ur self of when you just wanna try poker, like pure justice has said, ull stop eventually, just either now when u can still see clearly or when u hit rock bottom, unfortuneatley some people dnt stop till they hit the floor, but your here stay here stay strong and keep posting , youll need the families support again 4 months u did with there help, you can do it again. if you want to.
Hi As91,
You are 24 with hopefully a long life ahead. Don't waste what you have left gambling any more.
Get some counselling via Gamcare (it's free). GA meetings are another possibility.
If you cannot service the debts you have racked up you need to seek help from a non fee charging debt management company. Google National Debtline. You do not have to tell them your debts were caused if you are too embarassed.
You can turn this around. One day at a time. I do the 2015 Challenge on the forum. I'm 35 days gambling free now.
The urge to gamble does quieten down as the gambling free days mount up.
Do not try to chase losses with the little funds you have immediately available. Even if you won you'd only give it back and more besides when you get more cash.
Try keeping busy. Do sports. Take up Hobbies.
Other people may post advice as well.
The important thing is to act on the advice you are given.
Take Care Now.
Hi As91,
You are 24 with hopefully a long life ahead. Don't waste what you have left gambling any more.
Get some counselling via Gamcare (it's free). GA meetings are another possibility.
If you cannot service the debts you have racked up you need to seek help from a non fee charging debt management company. Google National Debtline. You do not have to tell them your debts were caused if you are too embarassed.
You can turn this around. One day at a time. I do the 2015 Challenge on the forum. I'm 35 days gambling free now.
The urge to gamble does quieten down as the gambling free days mount up.
Do not try to chase losses with the little funds you have immediately available. Even if you won you'd only give it back and more besides when you get more cash.
Try keeping busy. Do sports. Take up Hobbies.
Other people may post advice as well.
The important thing is to act on the advice you are given.
Take Care Now.
Hi As91,
You are 24 with hopefully a long life ahead. Don't waste what you have left gambling any more.
Get some counselling via Gamcare (it's free). GA meetings are another possibility.
If you cannot service the debts you have racked up you need to seek help from a non fee charging debt management company. Google National Debtline. You do not have to tell them your debts were caused if you are too embarassed.
You can turn this around. One day at a time. I do the 2015 Challenge on the forum. I'm 35 days gambling free now.
The urge to gamble does quieten down as the gambling free days mount up.
Do not try to chase losses with the little funds you have immediately available. Even if you won you'd only give it back and more besides when you get more cash.
Try keeping busy. Do sports. Take up Hobbies.
Other people may post advice as well.
The important thing is to act on the advice you are given.
Take Care Now.
Hi,
Don't know why my post has been replicated. I have had some problems with internet this afternoon.
Cheers
Hi,
Don't know why my post has been replicated. I have had some problems with internet this afternoon.
Cheers
Here I am again managed 6 months gamble free new it wouldn't last long even though I'm self excluded from almost everything I managed to join two new sites maxed out two overdrafts got out a loan and credit card and now I'm back to square one. Couple of night ago I attempted to do something stupid passed out before I could actually go through with it. I feel so ashamed and so angry at my self how he hell can I be so stupid I swore to my self I would never gamble again I had already convinced my self I well never make any money gambling so why they hell did I do it again? Is my life that boring that I need to just P**s money up the wall for no reason. I've never even won big ever so I don't even know what drives me to do it. There's absolutely no way out of this.
Hi As91 and welcome back " There's absolutely no way out of this " really ? . Sorry my friend but the way out it simple , "STOP" !!.
Nothing changes until you change , youv'e gone 6 months gamble free, so you can do it but for what ever reason you decided to start again ! . Where are the blocks that keep your time , money location triangle broken ?.
It's not rocket science but you have to want to stop gambling more than you want to continue gambling , without that want or willpower it really doesn't matter what you do , it's still going to happen , just look at this as a slip up and move forward .
I think you really do have to look at handing over control of your finances to another , perhaps your parents ?, if thats the only way to ensure your commitments are being met each month !.
You know as well as any other CG on this site that it's not about the winning anymore , for us it's just the buzz and rush we get from gambling but as you have found out that becomes more and more difficult to achieve and much more expensive to chase ?.
So you really need to be looking at dealing with your addiction to the buzz , taking up a new hobby or just focusing on different parts of your life again .
You spoke of attempting something the other night ?, well thats just a permenent solution to a temporary problem and how do you think your parents will feel dealing with the aftermath ?. It's an addiction to a rush that causes us financial hardship which is temporary , money over time can be repaid and will be once you let go of all the losses that keep dragging you back to the same place over and over again , leave it behind , bury it , it's gone so stop chasing it accept it as a life lesson and move forward , little steps and one day at a time .
We all know how you feel and can all relate to what your going through , so you need to keep posting , anything you feel or need to say , let it out , there's always an answer and nothing youv'e done requires the drastic solution that you spoke of , life's precious but you get so wrapped up in all the gambling cycle of destruction that we forget about our feeling's and the feeling's of our loved one's , gambling does that , it makes us numb .
There is a much , much better life waiting for you but you have to reach out and take it !.
Best wishes my friend and welcome back to recovery !
Alan
Hey As91
i don't think we even understand our darkest moments and what leads us there ! but focusing on what keeps us away is a good start and trying to find something to occupy us when our cravings are peaking is a must.
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