Years of gambling, stress and fraud.

Hi, I never admited this public before. But I got serious issues with gambling. I think it started in childhood, living near seafront as a child I got  on fruit machines where it did not matter about the age of someone. I was not addicted then though . As I got in adulthood the issues arouse.

I will not go into every single detail, but I would say I deposited and wagered significant amounts (six figure sums). What got me hooked,  I had joined a site and won a large sum with little money at the time. This was my first experience of a big win and it happened on the very first site I joined. This is what got me hooked.

The trouble is even small wins never satisfied me anymore and even when I did win larger sums, for some odd reason I cant explain, I would just sit and play until I lost it all and more. When I did win, I would often withdraw and feel as if i got my fix for the day, but the next day my urge to gamble would come back, and cause most sites offer you the fuction to cancel the withdrawal, then i would cancel my withdrawal and most times I would lose everything.

I am also shameful to admit, when I lost a large amount. I would call the card company up and say it was not me and most times they would refund me, although a few declinded to refund. I also had bank accounts refund my money but they would then write to me to tell me they were closing my accounts. The only neagtive that really happened would be that they would close my account. So only last week I did it with my new bank account and it was easier to do as I had no current gambling transactions, they refunded my money without question. I would often change all my details in the casino for fake ones after i had lost. The casino even provided the wrong updated details to the bank so this helped my case and I got my money returned.

I did confide to a friend who said I was at risk to getting arrested and prison, I already knew this when i was doing it but its like I am on self destruct mode. I trying my hardest to stop and I do manage to stop for a month and even 6 months. I know sometimes when I had a stresful event or bad time at work then it makes me want to gamble and sometimes if i see a tv advert or the late night roulette  games it seems to set me off. I cant explain my urge or why I do it, I sometimes think maybe I have some form of mental illness? my friend seems to think so.

I never stole of family or friendly or work. But I guess you can say I took advantage of the charge back schemes.