Relapsing again and again

Hi Mark

Have you tried Breakeven ?

Hi Mark,

Thank you for your brave honesty and documenting your struggle. I am in a very similar position to you and I've decided that today is my day 1 - no more excuses! I'm so tired of always saying to myself ' just this one last time' or convincing myself that I'll close my account on the only site I use when I'm 'up'. It's ridiculous thoughts like this that keep us hooked. We win when we don't give in to the thoughts and temptations. It's learning to deal with these urges and distract ourselves in positive ways. 

Something I need to try to understand is why I always have the urge to spend any money in my bank account, whether it's on clothes on Vinted (even though I sell, I always spend more than I make), extra food and alcohol or experiences. I really need to start regularly saving money. I have zero savings or investments and I earn good money. I need to look within myself and try to really figure out why I do this to myself. It really is ridiculous!

Here's to a happy healthy rest of the year, we don't need to wait until the 1st January 2026 to make changes. Change starts from today! I'm under no illusions that this will be easy - I know it won't be, but the positives will definitely outweigh the negatives. Not only in terms of the extra money we'll have but the extra time, no more guilt or feeling c**P about ourselves and finally some savings and some pride!! We shold focus on these amazing positives 🙂 

Feel free to message me anytime Mark - after all, we're in this together. Keep strong. Julia x

@nevereveragain @lp5vut869c

Hi Stuart and Julia,

no I have not used breakeven, but looks like a great tool to get help.

Yes Julia, we can both definitely stay gamble free. I have the same problem with spending all my money, when I am buying something atleast I tell myself, better to buy something than if I gamble it. 😀 But atleast this helps me when I am trying to stop, like cheving gum after quitting smoking, it is similar to me. But spending all your money is for sure not healthy in long run. It felt so good when I got a certain amount saved during the last time I stopped gambling, it definitely felt like a big win, since I used to spend every penny on gambling until I had nothing for about 1-2 years. That was I would say the time I was hooked on the most. Its not even about the amount you lose but how much you are risking by playing and I was betting everything, atleast I didnt go in debt to gamble, that is the last step i would say/ or stealing from family in order to gamble, thats even worse.

But about stopping, for now I permanently banned like 7 of my accounts on different sites. I also try to block all videos on youtube or other platforms that offer gambling content. But writing here also helps a ton, also writing or helping other people here helps me.
It is DAY 3 for me, I have been having some intrusive thoughts tho, so that will hopefully stop.

Hi @mark7

Thank you for sharing, it takes bravery to open up and write about this. 

It's also very common for someone to feel ashamed after losing such a huge amount or going back to something they know they have no control over and with the way gambling is advertised, it draws people in, so it's no wonder it's referred to as a 'silent addiction'. 

You say you gamble when life gets too overwhelming. My partner is in recovery from a gambling addiction and he too said the exact same thing. 

I would recommend Breakeven as a charity as well as Gamcare because you will gain access to all the support you will need to get through it and work towards a gamble-free life. 

They also say that relapse is sometimes part of the process to get clean so the fact you have gone three years before proves you can do it!