I was gamble free apart from the lottery for about 13 months following a horrendous few days of chasing a loss and ending up feeling like there was no way out. I got a huge loan of ten k and put it on one colour fortunately I was lucky and it covered paying back my overdrafts, loans and wages that I spent. I felt so Unwell during all of that, I swore to my self I would never do it again.
About a month ago I started following football tips and that was it until 2 nights ago I lost 10 pound and thought let me get that back on roulette within 15 minutes I must of blacked out and lost my savings and went into my overdraft by a thousand.
I can’t seem to shake this awful feeling of guilt and I keep burning up, very restless at the fact I done it again even thought I made promises. I’m trying to look at it as a positive that it’s only 2 grand in total but for some reason I’m in a terrible dark place over it, I’m reading stories on here that are so much worse than mine and kicking myself for feeling like this.
I was involved in a accident and I know I have that as a minimum coming in which I why I think I done it and I suppose that’s a life line to get me back to where I was financially but I just can’t kick this deep sickly stomach feeling.
I get exactly where your c omming from £2000 is a lot off money to anyone plus I know what you mean when you say others have lost more, I'm one off them but it's not the amount it's the loss the shame as you say that feeling in you stomach. I guess when your like us and are addicted to gambling that £10 Will always multiple in such a short period of time all your savings gone. What I will say as I'm good at giving advice but not taken it all the time. What ever you do don't put a grand on a colour again as you know aswell as I do it's not very often you walk away with a win. Has this left you really out in the woods or can you get enough money to pay your bills and put it down to a bad experience and get yourself sorted within a few months. We all relapse I wood love to tell my family I will never gamble again but I can't say that as I've said it so many times before it's only word's. You messed up you feel terrible that's normal just try and think that you can get past this talk to people use the help as you must really want and need it to put yourself on this site. I know you'll be okay God knows l messed up more times than I'd like to remember but been that stupid I just drained every penny I could get my hands on and ended up doing stupid things stay safe my friend and you'll get by this
Thanks for the response, i really appreciate it and found a little bit of comfort in your words. I have enough scrimp to the end of the month, hopefully put it down to a bad experience, take the loss and accept it and start saving again.
I immediately applied for a extension on my loan which I didn’t actually get for the amount that I had lost. I then signed onto my account and put that bet on in my mind And it didn’t come through I would have lost and been in a worse position which opened my eyes that I can in time get over this if I stop now no letting it escalate
I would like to hope I’m never going to put my self in this position again but as you say never say never but I fully take on your advice and words. It’s unbelievable what can happen in minutes and how after it’s done it’s like you’ve blacked out. I’m going to start a savings account that I have not got access too. I only wish I kept the block on my phone to prevent this but lesson learnt hopefully and hopefully this feeling will pass of regret.
Easier said than done but I want to try and look at it as a positive and in-fact it could of been a lot worse I’m quite lucky to have ended it now.
I don’t know your journey but I wish you all the best
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