So had to go to the bank today locally to lift someone cash that was needed to give you painter and decorator.
Had 800 in the account, half transferred by partner and 700 to pay. Unfortunately w**********l opposite and that urge hit me. Went in and gambled fairly sensibly building up to 750 from 30 in which was going really well. Then, as always, the walk away point which I had in my head when I walked in just eroded away and convinced myself that I could afford to lose X amount. Then made the same mistake of thinking "fortune spins" would be the best thing. Lost 750 in exactly 4 minutes. Then proceeded to lose the remaining money in 10 mins. These things are a joke. Really P****d off at myself as well obviously but now of the opinion that recovery is impossible, can't ever gamble again. Why the hell do I keep doing it?
Hi EKJR,
It sounds like you are going around in circles. Many people would disagree with you and if you read the success stories you will see that recovery is possible with the right support. Have you spoken to anyone about this or are you dealing with it on your own? Perhaps you rely on your will power only to beat gambling. You may consider getting in touch with GamCare and speak to an adviser about your gambling, to look at strategies that can help you to stop.
Best wishes,
Forum Admin
EKJR,
I posted this on your thread back in February:
"EKJR,
Welcome to the forum.
My first observation is that you are getting far too 'hung up' on the behaviour of the betting companies (even to the extent of having read the wagering requirements on a proposed bonus). You shouldn't even be getting to the stage of reading the small print. You need to do everything possible to put blocks between you and the casinos, self exclude, 'opt out' of all communications and put blocking software on your computer and devices.
There is a tendancy to try and apportion blame during the early stages of recovery but, in order to progress, you need to focus solely on yourself. Despite my efforts, I still get promotional texts and emails from companies but they don't even get opened any more. Of course the online casinos are going to try and tempt you back, they're businesses and you were their customer in a highly competitive industry.
I'm not saying that there isn't room for further regulation in the industry but don't let that be an issue in your recovery. Use the determination you have now to get real blocks in places and make a solid foundation for your recovery.
Read my post "It's not my fault!" in the discussions section.
Good luck in your recovery.
Phil"
Since then you have started several threads talking about the industry, blaming everyone but yourself for your losses. I'm sounding harsh because I have been where you are and know that you need to shift your focus. Betting companies will always want your money and will find different ways to get it. It is YOU that needs to stop giving it to them. Self-exclusion, blocking software, break the triangle. If you're not doing this and you still relapse then ask yourself if you're really ready to stop. It sounds like you need to stop but do you actually WANT to? If so then ask yourself why you are finding available opportunities to gamble.
I wish you all the best in your recovery and am only being harsh as I have been where you are.
All the best
Phil
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