So this is my diary to help keep me on the straight and narrow. I've posted on others' forums but doing my own feels like more accountability which can only be good. The title says it all. Started on fruit machines at 16 until FOBT's were rolled out from 2004/2005 onwards. I hate to think how much I've wasted on them but that's under the bridge now and I'm training myself to not even think about lost money.
I'm now 35. Married this summer. Have a 3 year old princess and another on the way within a month. If I can't beat this now (and I'm 21 days in...) then pro help and telling all to wife will have to be considered but I want to avoid the latter if I possibly can. Not for my sake but for hers and for the sake of our happy family. My previous best was 6 weeks off gambling about 2 years ago but this feels different. A turning point. A crossroads. So on I go. Determined. Motivated. I'm gonna smash it into oblivion.
Hi landenzil,
Thanks for sharing your story with us, and I hope it would go a long way in encouraging others to follow your footsteps. As you said, writing and posting your own story gives you the feel of accountability. Even though you’ve responded to some of the posts in the other forums, posting your own makes you take responsibility of your actions, and thus do something about it.
It seems like you’re a young family, and you want and deserve to be happy together. By doing something about your gambling problem now will help to avoid a troubled future, as gambling problem can affect other areas of your life too, not just finances.
Having gambled FOBT’S for 11years, I agree with you that you have to do whatever it takes to overcome it. It’s doable, and you can turn the 21 days gf to 42 gf days, and keep doubling as the time goes on, and Gamcare is ready to help and support you in your recovery.
In case you think counselling would help you to overcome your gambling problem, don’t hesitate to contact our free phone Helpline on: 0808 8020 133, and speak to one of our advisers about a counselling referral.
Our lines are open every day from 8.00am to midnight.
Keep up the good work; it’s a step in the right direction! Also, keep posting!
Best wishes,
Beatrice
Into week 4. Day 22. Been at hospital all morning for baby scans and appointments. Due 2 November and wife's induction booked for 8 November in case needed. Plenty to side track me from the black hole that is FOBT's.
Controversial....Going to the casino Saturday night which will be a good test. Going with a friend and his work colleagues and taking £100 and no cards etc. Casinos and being in other people's company will mean it's ok and I look forward to writing here to confirm it was come Sunday/Monday!
Going to the casino when you are in gambling exile is not in the textbook but it's whatever works for you. My problem is and has always been the one real mode, fixed odds betting terminals. Casino trip was fun last night. Stuck to my £100 and played roulette and blackjack on the live tables but of course stayed away from any machines! Came away £25 up and had a good night and no further urges or anything today. Was in control and that is good going since I had 6 £25 chips in my pocket from an early win for much of the night but still didn't spend it all as would be my FOBT modus without question. Feeling good and motivated still. Long may it continue.
Hi Ian,
Tell me to mind my own business if you want but..........
Would it not have been an idea at this early stage to have gone to the casino and just had a drink and watched your mates playing? I have stopped gambling in the past and taken to spending £50 a week on the lottery, kidding myself that I had stopped, as I wasn't playing slots or losing thousands on the football. It all comes down to the same thing in the end. I know what you are saying about FOBT's being your downfall, but you know as well as I do that you can soon replace that with another form of gambling.
Go back and reread your 1st post, and try to remember why you are doing this. It's not easy mate, but it's worth it in the end.
Regards
Russ
Russ. Thank you and I really appreciate the friendly advice from a gambling vet!! I could have done that and thought about it but it would have been very obvious to them if I had done that (me and this friend only usually meet up for betting reasons, albeit small scale and he doesn't have the problems I do). I comfortably survived it and don't feel worse for it but have no plans at all to repeat it. But I fully agree that cold turkey should mean cold turkey. But in my own particular case Saturday didn't constitute a falling off the wagon but I 100% wouldn't recommend that others with gambling issues do it!
18 days until my next pay packet having (hopefully) enjoyed what I earn for once for a whole month! Staying strong....keeping the faith and remembering why this is all so very important.
Stilll going strong. Come tomorrow then I've been off the FOBT for 4 weeks, a calendar month by Sunday! And still money in the bank. And feeling better. Poppping out at lunch to get some aftershave and new footie boots as I actually have some money to do so!
Hi Buddy , My problem was always with gthe Fobt's in the bookies and have lost alot of money on them over many years , my other vice was Roulette in the casinos and in my opinion there's no difference between the two except for the crowds at a table ? and it got to a point where I couldnt control the trips to the casino either .
I'd strongly suggest that you don't " Test Yourself " by visiting so early on in recovery again you can gtell me to mind my own business and I wont be offended but even now 13 months on bet free I still remain self excluded from all casinos simply because I know what would happen if I had a " Social evening " in one ! .
Only you know you but a Compulsive Gambler will always be a Compulsive Gambler and in my opinion it's no different to an Alcoholic popping in the pub for a Shandy , a very slippery slope my friend .
Does the friend your going with know about your gambling problem because if not I'd suggest being open and making your excuses ?.
Sorry if this comes accross as preaching , it's not meant to be and is just my opinion .
Best wishes Alan
Hi Alan. Thank you for taking the time to write and give your views which I fully take on board and appreciate. You clearly know what you're talking about since you are obviously doing fantastically well, good on you! I have no plans to go again and as you say, it's temptation and potential slippery slope. Friend doesn't know about my issues.....what makes a huge difference to me personally is gambling alone (my vice) rather than with people. So on FOBT you're in your own world. At a casino table there are others around so it's not so convenient or easy to go mental (in my opinion) - and if I am with someone I would never want them knowing I had a problem. The shame!! But anyway I will heed your advice and stay away. Thank you again - very kind of you to take the time
Hi again , thanks for taking the post as it was intended , it's not always easy to get your point across on here in txt and can sometimes cause offence even if none was intended . I think you've made the right decision, it's early in recovery for you but maybe in time you will be able to get control back I don't know but since being here it stands out that those who manage to stay gamble free for any length of time are those that abstain from gambling completely , I honestly thought when I arrived here that all would be well within a few months but having been around for a while , realistically I can never gamble again . I hope things go well for you and the o my advice I can offer is just to let go of what you've lost on the past , if you accept that it's gone you've no reason to chase it for revenge , again just my opinion but it seems to work :)) Have a good my friend and I'll catch up with you soon , all the best. Alan
Hi Landenzil, congratulations on reaching 4 weeks! Having read through your diary so far, I was interested in your comment that your "friend who you only meet socially for betting reasons" doesn't have the same problems that you do
I can honestly say that having gambled for 30 years, with a problem for the majority of them, I could count on one hand the number of friends, family and associates that are aware that I have a gambling problem
What is interesting, is that if you were to talk to him about your situation, you may find that you get a completely different response to the one that you are expecting? Also, if you are going to maintain your recovery and continue a friendship with this person, at some point I think you may have to tackle the subject anyway? Just food for thought...
Well done on your recovery to date!
Weldy
Weldy and Alan thanks for your posts! You both again make some great points. A calendar month into recovery for me now. Small steps! You keep it going too. As an aside, a friend of mine text me today to say him and some friends (who pool together and do an acca) had a win. Wow. But I won't be going down that route, don't worry!!!
Still going strong. Onwards and upwards. 1 week till next pay day, 2nd one since stopping the FOBT's!
Keep moving forward mate , one day at a time they all add up :))
Take care fella !
Best wishes Alan
10 days since last posting but still going strong. Hope anyone reading this is too!
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